I've mentioned that morphs get weird? That things don't happen in a nice, gradual way? Well, this morph was ridiculus

I was growing, growing, growing! My skin had turned leathery graphite-gray. There was a blowhole in the back of my neck. My head was monstrous and out of porportion.

But the rest of me was still Rachel. I had a head the size of Iowa. And about an acre of floating blonde hair.

< Oh, man! > Marco groaned. < Oh, I didn't need to see this! Rachel, you have pores as big as potholes! >

< This is ridiculus! > Jake complained. < I am tangled in your hair! >

< She's sinking! > Ax said. < Her buoyancy is not adjusted. She has dense human tissues. >

< I do not, > I said, vaguely offended. But he was right: I was sinking.

And if I didn't finish morphing, I was going to drown. Probably sink to the bottom and float past the Pemalite ship. A big, drowned female Gulliver.

That got me back on track....

I bobbed to the surface. My blowhole inhaled. My lungs filled.

I felt the water ripple as the dolphins surged and danced.

I sensed their joy and felt a deep, thousand-generation-old kinship with my lithe, sleek, brethen.

I drew a deep breath, expanding my lungs to their full capacity, and dove, arching my dorsal hump and flipping my triangular fluke into the air.

I fired off a blast of pulsed clicks and received a "picture" of everything around me. Like a black-and-white sketch that traced across my mind and was erased like and Etch-A-Sketch.

I was echolocating. I had natural sonar.

I "saw" the dolphins and they "saw" me.

And then another large creature was moving toward me.

< Rachel, I sure hope that's you, > Tobias called.

Oh. Right.

The whale brain wasn't hard to controll.

I drew Cassie around to where I could see her. "What's with him?" I asked.

The thing was, I hadn't even tried.

I'd liked the calm confidense. The absense of fear.

< It's definently me, > I said, rolling and powering my gigantic, muscled body up, up, up toward dim light like a runaway train.

< Yah-HAH! > Tobias shouted as we exploded the barrier and exploded into the sky. Our massive heads. Surged into the crisp air, water shimmering down around us.

< Okay, that was cool. > Jake said.

< I wanna be a sperm whale, > Marco whined.

< I don't think so, > Jake said. < Tick-tock. We need to stay on track here. >

< Just need to suck some air. > I said.

I exhaled, spouting spray and drawing in enough air to last to maximum diving capacity. Passages in my massive head filled with water and, all automaticly, the waxy deposits of spermaceti cooled the water and sent me plunging.

Into giant squid territory. I hoped.

Where the atmospheric pressure could squeeze every last molecule of air from a human body.

< Ready, Rachel? > Tobias asked.

< Ready, > I said, sighing and shivering deep in my soul. The whale might not be scared. I was.

Television. Or as humans say: TV.

Ah, yes: TV!

I never expected it to be so compelling. At first, I thought it would only be useful. I would watch the behavior of the humans on the flat, square screen and listen to them speak. When I was in human morph, I need to be able to seem entirely human.

But it is so much more than merely useful. It is a window into the human soul. Technologically it is laughable, of course, but when you take into account the stunning array of programs, it rivals the cinnamon bun itself as the finest creation of human society.

Tobias, too, enjoys TV. He comes every day to watch a show with me. It is called The Young and the Restless. It is very educational, though I remain confused as to the cause of so much restlessness.

TV allows me to observe much more human behavior than I see at the mall. I am still wondering why humans put their mouths together. And why they seem to enjoy it. My first thought was that they were transferring food. But that seems not to be the case.

<Look, Tobias! Victor and Nikki are doing that thing again!> I pointed at the screen. <They do this very often.>

<Uh-huh.> His hawk eyes were trained on the little screen as Victor tightened his arms around Nikki. <It's called kissing, Ax-man. Just like yesterday. And the day before. Kissing. Everyone does it. Of course, you need lips.>

<I know what it is called. And the role of lips is self-evident. I simply do not know why it is performed.>

<Ah, well> Tobias rearranged his wings noisily. <It definitely has a purpose. by the way, Marco's heading this way.>

<Yes, I know,> I said. <I saw him two minutes ago, although he is trying not to be seen.>

<I heard him three minutes ago and saw him four minutes ago,> Tobias said.

Tobias is competitive when it comes to his senses. His hearing and sight are both better than mine. But I am able to look in all directions simultaneously, something he cannot do.

<You did not, > I said.

<Did so, > Tobias countered.

"Nothing like the joys of daytime TV, huh?" Marco said, stomping up through the underbrush.

<Did not, > I said to Tobias.

Marco grinned at me. "Snuck up on you, didn't I?"

<Yeah, right, Marco, > Tobias said tolerantly.

Marco laughed. He knew he had not surprised us. His claim to have snuck up on us was human humor. It is inexplicable, and Andalite readers should simply resign themselves to never understanding.

<And by the way, why are you not in school young man?>

"Hey, I can't be controlled by 'the man's' arbitrary schedules. I come and go as I please. I am free. No one holds me down."

<Teacher conference?> Tobias said.

"Yeah, they let us out early. So. What's on the tube? Is this... Whoa! Who's that? And does she always walk around wearing a towel?"

<Well, I'm hungry. I gotta go find a mouse. See you, Ax-man. Later, Marco> Tobias said, and then he spread his wings and he was gone.

"Watching a soap, huh?" Marco said, nodding his head.

<Soap?> I was confused. <No. This show is about humans who are both young and restless.>

Marco sighed. "Whatever you call it, it basically reeks, you know. I think it's time I introduced you to some better programming, Ax. Buffy. Party of Five, maybe. Cops. South Park. Something, anything is better than this. Although, she is hot."

<Yes, she is hot. This is why she often wears less artificial skin.>

"Yeah, well, I think you may have your cause and effect turned around there. Hey, you know what you need? A TV Guide."

I bristled. <I understand how to operate the TV. Human technology is->

"Take it easy!" Marco held up his hands. "Everything with you has got to be literal. TV Guide is a little book that tells you what shows are on, and when. Come on, I'm bored. Let's cruise."

The notion of a guide to all that TV had to offer was attractive. ButI would have to morph my human form to go into the town.

<Perhaps we could obtain cinnamon buns as well,> I suggested.

"Why not? Maybe we'll run into Jake at the mall. He can buy."

Every morph is a surprise. The last time I morphed to human, my own more or less humanoid part, my head and arms, changed last. This time they were first.

I felt teeth growing beneath my lower face. In fact, my entire human mouth, consisting of a hinged jaw, teeth, tongue, and saliva-producing glands, was fully formed before lips appeared.

Lips form an open hole in the bottom third of a human face. The hole is used for eating and for forming mouth sounds. As well as kissing, spitting, vomiting, and belching.

Humans do a great deal with their mouths, most if it rather pointless.

My more numerous fingers disappeared, melting into ten stronger, thicker human fingers. My stalk eyes retracted into my head, leaving me unable to see behind me without either turning my head or turning my entire body.

My front legs shriveled away, leaving me to perch precariously on my two hind legs. Of course, humans have only two legs, and no tail at all. So they go through life constantly on the verge of falling over.

My blue fur was the last to go, replace by my own particular shade of human skin. Human skin comes in a variety of shades, none of them attractive.

At least, not to me. If you are human, you must find something attractive about your fellow humans. Humans who are young and restless are almost continuously in a state of attraction to others.

When I was fully human -- awkward, slow, and devoid of natural weapons -- I put on my artificial skin. Humans call it clothing.

"I am ready," I said, making mouth sounds. "R-r-r-ready. Red. E. Red. E."

"How about putting on a shirt?" Marco asked.

"The men who are young and restless do not wear shirts. I am young. And I am occasionally restless."

"Ax?"

"Yes, Marco?"

"Put on a shirt."

I did. Then I folded my scoop down so that nothing, including the TV, would be visible. Not even to a human walking directly over the spot.

I walked with Marco out of the woods, across the farthest fields of Cassie's farm, and toward the mall. It took a long time. Humans walk slowly, a result of having only two legs and no tail.

We crossed fields an then walked along a street- a path for cars. Then...

"Well, hello, Marco. Hey Ax," someone called.

Marco stopped short and looked around, turning his entire human head in order to see in different directions. "Who said that?"

"Here Marco."

I turned my human head to follow the voice. It was a truck painted with the word FedEx. And it was talking to us.

Okay, listen up. It's Jake. You probably already know what's going on around here. But just in case you don't, here's the deal: Rachel, Tobias, Cassie, Marco, and me are five kids and one alien out to save the world.

No, this isn't a joke. It's real. About as real as you can get. Real enough for screaming nightmares about the things you've seen and done.

Because sometimes the stuff you see in the movies, the stuff you thought could never, ever happen to you... well, it can happen. It does happen. I've seen it.

I can't tell you my last name. Or where I live. There's an alien invasion going on. Right here on Earth. But I'm not talking little green men with ray guns. I'm talking a much smarter way to conquer a world. Just invade people's brains.

I'm not nuts. I've seen it. And because of that, my friends and I were given a special power - the power to morph into any animal we touch. To acquire it's DNA. It's the only way we can fight the Yeerks - that's what they call themselves. We have to find a way to stop these slugs that get into people's heads and make them slaves.

But things have gotten worse. We need backup. A new Animorph. We've tried this once before and it didn't work out. At all. We're going to try again. So, if you're interested in joining us, let's go. Just remember not to read these missions like a normal book. Check out the instructions and follow them.

You get to choose your morphs, but I'm warning you now - choose them very carefully.

You have to deal with the consequences. They can either help you, or get you totally annihilated.

This isn't a game. It's serious stuff. So, if you can handle it, turn to page one.

Oh. One more thing? Good luck. You'll need it.