If there is one word to describe Carlito, it will be 'anti-social'. He sometimes resents this word, he sometimes basks in it like a prized laurel. He sometimes connotes 'anti-social' for being 'special'. And can't accept the fact he is merely different. Carlito has denied his homosexuality in his youth, a reason why he finds security within the walls of isolation and 'anti-sociability' in adulthood. I'm not saying he's always alone and solitary, Carlito is still part of the society - breathing, living, working like everyone else, though outside of routine existence, he is unlike everyone else. Carlito for one hates attending parties. Especially American-co-worker-straight-kind'a- parties. Carlito confided with me one time that he is too gay to be in straight parties and too straight-acting to be in gay parties. So he avoids every party altogether. Still...
People keep inviting him. They insist he must be present in every birthday, wedding, christening, anniversary, get together party all over. He can't understand why they just can't take 'no' for an answer, or why they can't 'buy' his excuses. They resort to coercion and threats just so he would attend. The reason people find him interesting is because of his good diction and well, people say he's one who makes sense as he talks. Soon he learns that rejecting an invitation to a party in America is tantamount to insulting the host because well, that's just the way America thinks. Having no guests is baaaad. And Carlito is definitely one prop American hosts would love to have. At least one time. Yeah, at least one time. In America, foreigners of impeccable English are sought after, they are considered signs of sophistication and non-bigotry. And Carlito belongs to those types of foreigners. He always finds himself attending lots of parties against his better will. Especially when the host is a co-worker.
Carlito dreads parties because he used to be a promdi who never fitted in city life. He suffers from extreme inferiority complex, which he brought along as he came to the US. Yeah, despite all the confidence he pretends to possess, he feels he doesn't belong anywhere.
Even in Pinoy gay gigs. He is always at odds with these. He can not understand attendees that act like Assumption girls. He violently tells them to get rid of girlie manners - as gays they must act like men - yeah yeah yeah, and the 'girls' exchange tiny little crystal things, and giggle with expressions like, "Oh how cuuuuuuuute!" They tell him to get a life.
Eventually, Carlito had deviced ways by which he could give his friends, gay and straight, reasons NOT to invite him. Carlito in his nastiest mood created havocs in parties, got drunk, became loud, smoked, and worse, he brought friends worse than him. Oh yeah, he didn't hesitate bringing eccentrics and psychotics even in children's christenings. After this, he expected not to be invited the second time around. Which usually was the case.
When his gay co-worker Jack invited him for a private party, he vehemently said no, well, not exactly NO, but something like, " I am not really a party-person Jack." But Jack was persistent, or to put it more correctly, it seemed Jack knew the weak spots of Carlito.
This was how Jack pitted his party: "There are only six of us: a gay couple for forty years, wow, Carlito, you should see them. They're in their eighties and so much in love with each other. Then there is another one, a yuppy, you'd like him. And I really want you to meet my partner for four years - Joe. He's nice Carlito. In fact... here's his picture. He used to be Mr California."
Jack's partner was what you'd call the epitome of gay's superb worship of masculinity - big muscles, muscles that cry out loud, an ass that seem to speak to you, shaved head, tattoes around the deltoids, and very provocative way of staring at the camera, he was the one saying, Eat me.
And Jack wasn't bad looking either. He was Spanish, talking with that fascinating accent, How are ju, Carlito? He looked like the younger version of Marlon Brando, a body builder too, and hairy.
These, of course, were tempting to Carlito, one didn't usually meet a gay couple for forty years and former Mr. California in one party.
He agreed to attend. This time though, he attended this party by himself. (Carlito rarely came to parties alone. He always brought his good friend Pepito, who was often mistaken for his lover - they respond to this by staring at each other saying yuuuuuck!.) Carlito took his car and drove to Jack's place. It was not far from his place.
True to his word, the group Jack assembled was particularly promising: there was a yuppy young guy, there was the couple of forty years, there was Jack's lover Hank (yes gays tend to choose names like these) In person, Hank was a big California hunk, the type you see in gay ads: tough, bald, steroid build shaped, 33 years old... his appearance and look were impressive but he was no Mr California. He was sort of runner-up.
BUT- they were the most quiet and secured gays Carlito had ever met.
As a matter of opinion, Carlito believes there are gays who are insecured - they're usually the loudest and most flamboyant. And then...there are gays who are seated on the chair of quiet living, a chair of success, who seem to look at the world with kindness. The latter are the types who make Carlito feel at home. Carlito's opinion is seconded by his lesbian co-worker Migs who once whispered to him: "There is no better party than a party of your own kind and personality. Find them."
Carlito knocked on the door, it was opened by Jack, there were no greetings like who are you and where you're from. The group, upon seeing Carlito, just said, come sit with us Carlito. They talked about restaurants and how to keep the house clean. Jack took Carlito for a tour around the house and Carlito marvelled at how muscle men like Jack and Hank could transform their house into the most fragile, delicate beauty. There were six aquariums/aquaria. Pots of plants all over, African masks, bedroom designed to fit the 1920's and a patio of varnished floor with a little fishpond in the middle. What was most impressive was a corner bar made of pure glass and its top was composed of arranged broken tiles of multiple colors, very Spanish, very European. Designed laboriously for one year, by Jack.
Carlito just felt an extreme comfort in the company of this group, began acting his true self and began asking serious stuff like, how is living and loving gay for forty years (addressed to the gay couple in their eighties) and how to live together in the 90's (to Jack and Hank). Questions which were answered in a most mature and honest way.
And then, there was the yuppy Italian guy called Oscar...
As a matter of fact, the following week, Carlito was invited the second time to a second party
in the same house, but this time, the two of them, Oscar and him were
left alone in one of the 1920's style room. The last words Carlito said were - Ay! Ay! Ay! Mama Mia!
ihome