By now most people know where the leaders of the world go when they need
a problem solved. "Everyone has come to expect this sort of thing from our
college," a former Tarleton student reportedly said.
"Since the Federal Government has been turning over the majority of their
biological testing on dead space aliens. . .well let me just say that we've
been rather busy here in Stephenville, Texas" a man wearing a white coat
and looking like a scientist was believed to have mumbled.
Located in the small Texas town of Stephenville ( The City of Champions
), Tarleton State University is the home of the most brilliant scientific
minds on the planet.
"We already have the prototype design for the next generation of voice-activated,
talking, salt-water powered automobiles," a person we believe to be familiar
with Tarleton told us.
Stephenville, Texas is well known for its underground network of ancient
caverns and deep monstrous caves. "It's these types of locations where the
government prefers to build its secret laboratories," my uncle Raymond once
told me.
"The underground laboratory is the only way we're able to function in community
as small as Stephenville, Texas. Even though they hear rumors about us, the
general public stays unaware of our secret government activity here at Tarleton.
Which is all well and good since we don't know how well they would understand
all of the experiments being conducted. I mean most people probably wouldn't
like the idea of someone (for the sake of clarity let me say the government)
testing the effects of exotic new chemicals, explosives and drugs in their
neighborhood," an old man at the Dairy Queen pointed out to me.
As William Faulkner wrote in his novel Sanctuary, "God, are you
drunk too?"
And I believe it was the great poet David Lee Roth who wrote, "I am a
victim of the science age, a child of the storm, I am the atomic
punk."
"Oh without a doubt that's the real attention grabber around here," a man
claiming to be uninvolved with Tarleton said when I asked him if he'd heard
about the project.
"People pass over the top of us everyday and would never dream of the stuff
we're doing down here," a man who looked mighty suspicious noted, "may Saint
Bridget protect us all."
As the scientist at Tarleton State University go about doing their secret
work in the underground caverns of Stephenville, Texas, the rest of us must
silently hope that they know what they're doing.
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