There were several changes made between my initial script and what we performed at Farpoint in '99. I ran out of time to make the Cyberman outfit and substituted the Dalek again in that scene, but wanting everyone to see the best possible version of this left that part in. I had hoped for the actor chosen as Lister to appear, but he informed me early on in our rehearsals that he would not be able to make it, so his lines were give to the CAT instead. Casting choices were slim on a few other characters and I have to thank again Renee Wilson for stepping in as Patsy Benes, and Pat Sponaugle as Kryton/Marvin at the last minute. Extra special thanks must go to Ann Lesnik for providing the UFO girl costume, and to Debra Mischekie (sorry if I've misspelled it) for stepping in at the con to wear it with only Friday night's notice!

There were some bits of humor that went over many heads as well, but that’s because I tend to write for me instead of any particular level of audience. I figure if I'm not happy with a script, then why should my audience? Perhaps I'm being selfish, but I just can't bring myself to "write down" or "patronize" an audience, I feel that is insulting. I find plotting a decent mystery with clues in it for the audience to pick up on and figure out for themselves, or put together afterward when the solution is revealed adds to the experience. I don't mind being second guessed, but when a plot is so transparent that you figure out what will happen in a production 5 minutes into it, I can't help feeling cheated.

For those of you that have never read a script this should be a fun experience as well, but more than a little confusing. Professional scripts rarely put any stage directions in them, and never to the extent I do. I am a very visual thinker, and I find it helps me to direct later on when these "Notes" are written next to an actor in a scene. I try to "See" what will happen as I script a scene, and write them each scene as a separate identity and later merge the documents into a cohesive whole later. The plotting is usually loosely written, with lots of notes scribbled down from odd moments when the muse has struck me (no, I won't expound where they strike me, THAT would be telling!) Together with these papers I let inspiration take me into a logical course that I had plotted out, and watch as things metamorphous into my first draft. I could take months editing afterward, but after trimming things down to what humor and plot points are absolutely needed we gather the cast for a few readings, and add in any ad-libs that get laughed at twice.

A few facts, which might enhance reading this, would be:

V.O. - Voice over by either prerecorded CD, backstage or Tech microphone

S.R. - Stage Right (from the Actor's perspective facing the audience)

S.L. - Stage Left (from the Actor's perspective facing the audience)

I color-coded the Names (first or abbreviated), stage directions, and Tech to make it easier to read. If you're not used to such it can be confusing.

Freddy Frieberger was the "Man Who Killed Star Trek" in the sixties, he was also brought onboard for the second series of Space:1999 and made (in many fan's opinion including mine) too many changes in the direction of the show. While justly credited with bringing Maya to the show, he sacrificed too many necessary elements of what made Space:1999 a serious SF show.

There were some ad-libs not here because I haven't seen the video of this production in a while, and have thoughtlessly forgotten them. I may update this in the future if I have time, but consider this the definitive version. As for distributing the video, please do not ask. There are WAY too many copyright infringements for me to even give this away to fans, please be happy with reading the script. If you really must see this production, then contact your local convention with my information and ask to have me as a guest of the con. I will be happy to attend and speak about many things including the play, and would be happy to bring the tape to show, but unless a convention grants me time to do this I will not be pushing it on Fandom.

Lastly I must comment on the various shows referred to and characters included in this one. Each was either a favorite of mine and deserved (with the exception of Patsy and Edina whom I despise) far more time than we gave them. Being a fan of different UK produced shows, it has been a great pleasure to write and produce this one. I fully recommend your viewing all of them (with the exception of the previously noted 'Absolutely Fabulous' which I never really warmed up to) to fully appreciate this parody. At no time did I intend to violate anyone's copyrighted characters (except killing off Patsy and Edina, which I perversely enjoyed!) and any infringement found in this was done only within the fair use laws in the name of PARODY! So please do not level any lawsuits because you can't get blood from a stone or money I do not have. Thanks!

Andrew Bergstrom 2/18/2K

Writer, Producer, Director… And Complete Idiot!