Claire Danes Sucks
Even if she's not The Devil, she's a moron who can't act. Not only that, she's an anorexic moron who can't act. Just what the teenage girls of America need, another stick figure role model. "But," you cry, "she was on My So-Called Life. That show was so real. She was so great on it." Ah yes, My So-Called Life. Who can forget that wondrous piece of our culture that gave us such lasting catch phrases as, "Duh Squared." (for more wonderful quotes like that from the show, or just want a reason to wipe humanity off the face of the planet, visit clairedanes.com)
Face it, My So-Called Life sucked ass. It was a show about nothing. Crappy nothing. If you take Seinfeld, take away the good writing, good dialogue, the comedy, and add lame attempts to be fashionable that will be eaten up by insecure/retarted teenagers, you have My So-Called Life.
It was utter crap. People claimed it was so great. It couldn't have been. They only made something like 13 episodes. It's the equivalent of poetry written by a 14 year old girl. Utter shit. 20 years from now, the show will be just as embarassing as the purple unicorn notebook full of angsty poems from your early high school years before you learned to be like Claire Danes and ease the pain with booze, drugs, and self-delusion.
What was next? William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. Why didn't she just wipe her ass on some of Shakespeare's work and charge people $5 to come watch? Did they put William Shakespeare's name in the title just so the idiot yuppie children would know who it was written by, or was it because they thought the only way people would see it was if they tricked them into thinking it was something besides a Claire Danes movie that would only appeal to teenage girls whose sole hobby is carving their wrists with whatever pointy object is handy? Even Academy Award winning tard, Leonardo DiCaprio, was pretty bad in that movie.
She also made an appearance in Little Women, where she died. YAY!!! If she hadn't been in Romeo & Juliet and Little Women, people would see her for the vacuous media whore that she is. The movies would also have sucked less ass.
Enough about how she sucks. There's morons out there who idolize her, which means they're worse than she is. For instance, there's Church of Claire Danes web page. It's run by a guy named Doug. It's obviously some horny loser that makes fake celebrity nude photos of her and ended up with enough unedited photos to make a real page. If there is a center of all suck in the universe, The Church of Claire Danes is it.
And now, a personal message to Claire Danes: If you're reading this, I hope it makes you cry. I'll feel real sorry for you. I'm sure you're very unhappy with your millions of dollars, your attractiveness to almost every guy on the planet, and your utter stupidity making you immune to realizing how shitty you and your films are.
