Favorite Munchies

Below is a nutritional guide of champions used by Olympic athletes.

Taco Bell

One of the few establishments where you can eat over one metric ton of food for under 5 buckaroos. Just about everything on this menu can be lethal to your digestive tract so it is highly recommended that you build up a tolerance before ingesting large quantities of this food (that which does not kill us, makes us stronger).

Nacho (Rico Suave) Grande.

You can find delicious nachos slathered in a cheese sauce, sprinkled with green onions, topped with diced tomatoes, and an ice cream scoop of cow flesh!!! Mmmm mmm moo delicious. I love the Nacho Bell Grande (no beans) because it has great taste, decent price, and its fun to share.

7 layer Burrito.

A brilliant invention for veggie lovers that puts a ton of non-meat products wrapped in flour for about $1.

Chaco Taco

I always imagine Beavis with a sugar rush saying Chaco Taco over and over again (you too?). This is a great snack that is loaded with calcium, chocolate, caramel, a fudge swirl, and vitamins.

Chips Ahoy

Arggghh Matey, swab the decks you lullygagging scullywag. The name was probably conceived in the land of Middle Haven by a brain damaged samurai pirate with one eye, a peg leg, and a frying pan. Well the name could use some work, but Chips Ahoy makes an interesting cookie. Granted you could gag on one of these cookie pucks when they are dry, BUT there is a better way. An amazing chemical reaction occurs once you dunk the offending cookie in a tall goblet of milk. The cookie becomes ionized and tastes delicious. In fact, it has been a well kept secret (until now) among the scientific community that eating these cookies after introducing milk into their atomic composition will help build dense muscle fibers and increase the subjects virility.

Butter milk biscuits

I remember my Grandmother telling me a biscuit story (yours too?, weird). Allow me to share some ancient wisdom. The tale is from a long time ago when my brother (Keith) was an ankle biter and I must have been just a munchkin. I recall the day well, it was under the blazing orange sky of El Paso in my Grandmothers trailer home. My brother had awoken famished and begged for some breakfast. My Grandmother always being prepared asked the little boy what he wished to eat. His cute voice piped "a biscuit sandwich please". So Grandmother slaved over a hot oven and baked some mouth watering buttery biscuits that could tempt even the most pure of heart to gluttony. Next, Grandmother placed the golden brown biscuits of joy on the table and began cutting the biscuits so you could put all sorts of goodies within (sausage and eggs, jam, or anything else). Then Grandma methodically began bringing out and preparing the goodies that would soon be stuffed within the wondrous biscuits. Keith was frustrated at such an atrocity and snatched two biscuits from the tray. Grandma being understandably confused inquired what Keith was doing. The explanation has been permanently etched in stone as Keith explained "Grandma your doing it wrong, this is how you make a biscuit sandwich". Keith proceeded to take one biscuit and place it in-between another and thus history was made. Anyway, its better when Grandma tells the story (trust me, her laughter is priceless).

Cotton Candy

This stuff is a miracle and yummy too. Like eating a soft pillowy cloud of sugar that tickles your tongue as it melts into your smile. Deep breath… ahhhhhhh.

Raw cookie dough

This stuff makes my belly furious if I eat too much, but I cannot help myself. I love the smell and taste of raw cookie dough. Its sticky, gummy, sweet, and mooshy texture combine to make a great snack (goes well with ice cream too).

Pizza Hut Breadsticks with the pizza sauce

The hut makes some great sauce and to add to their greatness is the way you can serve the sauce with these tasty breadsticks covered with artery clogging butter!

Super buttery popcorn

You would never suspect that the movie popcorn uses soy butter, oh well.

Chineese doughnuts

They are actually biscuits but covered with powdered sugar. They melt in your mouth like cotton candy and fill your belly very quickly. I LOVE these addictive little guys and to add to the madness they serve them at Chinese buffet. This is where the crime is, you go to a buffet (and I can eat a ton of food) and wind up eating a hand full of biscuits instead of a meal (it is so incredibly sinister).

Hong Kong style Pork

Go to Stony Brook University when Deng Li’s is serving this scrumptious platter. The sauce is perfect, the meat is a little tough, but the sauce is irresistible.

Fried Dumplings

Also at Deng Li’s and equally addictive as their Hong Kong pork.

Strawberry Pop Tarts with frosting

Breakfast was never so easy. Just pop a pop tart and you have your RDA of nutrition for the morning (who are we kidding).

Candy Apples with Caramel

This is a great snack that you have to enjoy at a carnival or an amusement park. I can never seem to settle for just one.

Corn Bread

It’s corn. It’s bread. Combine them and you have a sweet cake that is called Corn Bread.

Trefoils

Girl comes first in Girl Scout (what a stoopid slogan). That is like saying Taco comes first in Taco Bell (also retarded). Luckily the Trefoils are the saving grace of this poor sloganeered regiment. I can pack away an entire box of these cookies (the kind with the two girl scout profiles on them).

More on the way, so check back later.

Feel free to tell me your favorite munchies in my guest book and I will put them below.

Favorite Munchies Of The World


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