PHARTS!! WELCOME!!

YOU ARE PHARTER NUMBERTO VISIT, ONCE AGAIN, WELCOME! **** ANNOUNCEMENT!! THE PHART PAGE IS CLOSING DOWN IN TWO DAYS!!!****

This page is full of pharts. You probably think Im disgusting but hey, being home from school with nothin to do, then there is an exception. These are real pharts takin from anonymous people that visited this wonderful hell hole of mine.

I cant mention any names but as long as the phart page is up, It'll satisfy.

In order to hear the pharts, you have to download them, dont worry, these arent gonna hurt your computer!! So just enjoy these weird, sometimes nasty pharts. ew.

1. This phart is a double phart, one phart, had more, so they let out the other phart. Say bom bap. Thats what this one kinda sounds like.

2. Better turn down your volume a little for this one, it is a loud one that can sting your ass cheeks if this phart occured from you.

3. This one is funny. It starts out as a hard stingy one, but then sounds like this person almost shitted his pants. LOL.

4. A phart that isnt really exciting, its a little heavy creek. Nothin that is really funny bout it.

5. This one sounds squeeky, sounds like someone rippin there jeans.

6. Another little squueky one, after it, you hear a little bit of voices in the backround. This one isnt really a good one.

7. This one is my all time favorite, this one rumbled the house and you can hear it from downstairs. LOL.

8. Right here is the one that can burn you, whenever you phart, and you get the burnin sensation, it is either this type of phart or you shittin your pants as you phart. eeeew.

9. This one is the all time best!! It is a deep sounding one which makes the sound wave recorder lines jump like hell! Sounds like someone ripping a 5 layered coat!

10. This one was made from one of my relatives, sounds fake but real, really long. This is the one who made the itching song below!

This is another of the dude's pharts, the one who made the itching song, this phart sounds mad nasty, he shitted himself, you can hear him in the backround laughin, so you know it is real.

EXCLUSIVE: This one is jammed with a majority of the pharts above, just crammed into one 19 second file.

This is a special wave made by a relative of mine, aint mentionin the name but its a little song he would like to dedicate to the lonely itchers out there.

WARNING:

Do not try this at home! A serious case of bacon strips, shitting pants, stinging as cheeks, and loud noises have been reported. If you try this at home, please, be careful, have a good pack of extra skivies in case you blow a hole, shit your pants, or any other thing.

TIPS:

For successful pharting, make sure you dont need to take a shit and make sure you dont have to take a piss. First off, for best results on 99.9% of pharts, do it on a wooden, metal, or any hard uncushioned surface.

HOW YOU KNOW WHEN PHARTS GO WRONG: The only way you know pharts went wrong is if you pissed your pants, shitted your pants, or it came out as a regular ( explained below in the TIPS section).

SQUEEKY: For the squeeky pharts, squeeze your cheek muscles together and let out softly, but not to softly, or else it will be an SBD ( Silent but Deadly ). It works best on wooden surfaces such as a wooden chair.

RATTLE: For the rattling pharts, or the ones you can hear shake the house, make sure you are leaned back a little less that 45 degrees in the chair, then lean the chair back with you in it, get in a comfortable position, and let it rip! Make sure you have a fair amount of gas in you to do it, a little too much, can give you the result of shittin your pants, a little too small, can give you the result of shittin your pants IMMEDIATLY.

REGULAR: Regular pharts are the normal ones, the everyday pharts that 96% people know. Only thing you gotta do, is sit up directly in a hard chair, and let it go! It doesnt matter the amount of gas in you, just do it.

SBD ( Silent but Deadly ): In order to do this, you must spread your cheeks apart, and let it out softly. This one works best on a cushioned seat.

SMELLY: This one is quite tough for some people. Just sit down on a cushioned seat and let it rip! If you are the type that when you sit down on the cushioned seat, and it sounds like a normal, just spread your cheeks a little.

IF A CERTAIN PHART YOU ATTEMPTED DIDNT COME OUT AS IT SHOULD AND/ OR CAME OUT AS A NORMAL: If this happens, you should read the instructions a little more harder, or try something different in that section to make it work. Remember, practice makes perfect!

DISCALIMER:

No pair of skivies or wooden or cushioned surfaces will be payed by me, it is all up to you, you spray, you pay! >Sign Guestbook View Guestbook