Soon DDEB2 and DDEB3 followed, providing additional forums for admiring Mr. Duchovny's. . . assets. The X-Files continued to grow as a cult hit, introducing other recurring characters. Soon, the Mitch Pileggi Estrogen Brigade and The Nicholas Lea Estrogen Brigade came into being.

Sure. Duchovny, Pileggi, and Lea admittedly have estrogen brigades named after them for a good reason: They are all conventionally handsome or charming or rugged.

How boring.

A Lone Gunmen fan since the second season airing of "Blood", I was puzzled by the lack of estrogen support for the trio. Heck. They were provocatively intelligent. They had the innate ability to hack into dedicated mainframes by using modified clipper chips purchased from the Chinese government. They understood the importance of wearing something "black and sexy" while doing some funky poaching.

These guys, I thought, deserve a brigade of their own.

There is the magnetism of Frohike who is able to walk and talk and drive a car after drinking an entire bottle of scotch. There is the appeal of Langly with his long blond hair, black framed glasses, and philosophical issues about having his image bounced off of a satellite. And to make matters worse, there is the elegant Byers in his suit and neatly trimmed beard who utters fifteen syllable words with complete conviction and sincerity, his blue eyes showing a range of emotion in which one cannot help but be lost, his acumen immortalized forever by a rapid series of pictures fired against the tube which. . . But I digress.

In short, what woman could resist these men? They've got it all: Paranoia. Conspiracy. A casual disregard of fashion. Impeccable key stroke data entry. The ability to monitor your every word with surveillance devices smaller than a ball point pen.

Hell. The Lone Gunmen have been treated too long as a single entity. Too often used as a plot device to further along the scientific thread of a conspiracy-arc episode. Discounted whenever Duchovny was onscreen in those really tight jeans that look as if he dug them out of the back of his closet and hasn't worn them since his highly flouted days at Princeton. It was time for someone to champion the cause of The Lone Gunmen, to rise to the occasion and show the world how wonderful they are.

Yes. It was time they get the chicks that they DESERVE.

A few of us secretly gathered in a tiny corner of cyberspace, working covertly under the guise of HTML. Paint Shop Professional. Alternate personas devised through free e-mail accounts. Even Geocities! Under the cloak of anonymity we gathered information about the characters. About the actors. Carefully and surreptitiously we uncovered those who professed an interest in the trio, other mature and sensible women with a weakness for intellectuals, assimilating them to suit our purposes.

The Lone Gunmen Estrogen Brigade Project had begun.

The rest, my friends, is history.

The Brunette
the_brunette@rocketmail.com
Founder and Administrator of the Lone Gunmen Estrogen Brigade