Here's something to think about...
1. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
2. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
3. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
4. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
5. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
6. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
7. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell her she has the right to remain silent?
8. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
10. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
11. What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
12. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
13. Is it possible to be totally partial?
14. What's another word for thesaurus?
15. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
16. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
17. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
18. How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
19. If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
20. Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?
21. Why does SOUR CREAM have an Expiration date?
22. Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
23. IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"....then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
24. Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients....but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons.
25. How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?
26. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of.
27. Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?
28. Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
29. Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
30. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
31. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
32. What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
33. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
34. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
35. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
36. What's another word for synonym?
37. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
38. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
39. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
40. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
41. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
42. Why do they report power outages on TV?
43. Is it possible to be totally partial?
44. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
45. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
46. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
47. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
48. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
49. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Fun Facts
1. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
3. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. If you have 3 friends who are OK, then you're it.
6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
11. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
12. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
13. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.