Crew Lounge Four

"Everyone,

Please rise for the Pledge of the Kill Wesley Club."


"We Pledge Allegiance, to the Kill Wesley Club of this U.S.S. Enterprise,
and to break his neck, for which we strive, one club, overall,
with Liberty and the Day of Judgement for Wesley."

"Very good. We will now take roll.
Following are the members of the Kill Wesley Club:

Janez Walker
Ki'Tara
Yana Timez
Smiley
Nigel
Si-Wang Mu
Commander Woof
Atatua
Borgie
J13Pique
PhilipM
Q
Chica
Gulmacet
Zaphod
Melissa
MORTAL
Mushu
Kasha
Zed
Adml
tinman
Trelitza
DATABASE/TREKFAN
Princess
Nerys
SeiferAlm
Aria
Cire
AdmTolwyn
NogUTs
Jim
Lore 47
Frodo
Hobbes
Grover
LtCdrSand
Nogin
Neghvar
Neelix
Borg 7 of 9
TREKER2
Dalamar
Rikka
Genre
David
Lady Thief
Lwaxana
Jadzia
Forty-Two
Juliet
CoolBorg
Cambot
Spot
Xzabien
Ezra_Dax
Grand Moff
Pretender
Stovelc
Collective
Archer
Aaron
Fraggle
Spock
Clinton
Quantum
Gorn
Mystream21
Ryskim


Any new additions who wish to join, please contact the mysterious Jane Z. and she will kindly add you to the list."


"Next on the agenda, the minutes of our last meeting. It was quite eventful, as we all know. Please give your attention kindly to our minuteman, Commander Riker!"

"Thank you Captain, much obliged. And I will now read the minutes of yesterday's meeting:

'1030 hours: All crew members are seated in Crew Lounge Four.
1035 hours: Captain Picard leads the crew in a splendid recitation of the Pledge.
1037 hours: Captain Picard calls roll.
1042 hours: The Esteemed Cmdr. Riker reads the minutes of the previous meeting.
1051 hours: Captain Picard reads the announcements of the Club.
1056 hours: Mr. Worf takes the podium for a demonstration of Klingon fighting techniques that he deemed ideal for the death of Wesley.
1101 hours: Worf accidentally lets go of his Ragh 'Gjin blade in mid swing and decapitates two audience members.
1102 hours: The audience members' families mob Worf and rip his uniform to shreds with their bare hands.
1105 hours: Worf escapes the wrath of the mob and takes a stand atop the podium, where he proceeds to defend himself with Captain Picard's desktop supplies.
1108 hours: Counselor Troi suffers a paperclip in the eye and Geordi is beaned by the Captain's U.S.S. Stargazer Paperweight.
1109 hours: Medical teams arrive at the scene.
1110 hours: Security teams arrive at the scene.
1112 hours: All offending partie are removed from the premises and Captain Picard gains control with the help of the esteemed Cmdr. Riker, who took the liberty of firing a phaser at the ceiling to restore order.
1113 hours: Control is lost once again as the hull breach created in the ceiling sucks three people out into space. Emergency forcefields kick in.
1116 hours: Repair teams arrive at the scene.
1120 hours: Captain Picard dismisses the Kill Wesley Club early and the meeting is adjourned.'
And that concludes the minutes of our last meeting. Back to you, Captain."

"Thank you, Number One. I must say, that was quite a meeting yesterday we had there. I must say."


"And now, the announcements for today's meeting."


"It seems Wesley has just revolutionized computer typing techniques. This will eliminate the option of blaming our mistakes on typos. Therefore, Wesley's program must be deleted!!! Commander LaForge has prepared a virus to cripple this program and a volunteer will be needed to plant it into the system. Do we have any volunteers? No? Then I will just have to pick someone. Ensign Lynch, that's you. Next announcement.

"A repair team is needed to repair the main environmental controls after the complete shutdown caused by Commander LaForge's last Anti-Wesley program virus. All crewmembers with Beta repair clearance or higher report to Jefferie's tube 16b at 1100 tomorrow. Next...

"Counselor Troi once again wishes to remind you that her counseling services are available to all of you, especially those who have been exposed to Wesley. See her in her office for an appointment.

"Next, the Enterprise Entrepreneurs wish to inform you that all Kill Wesley merchandise is supposed to be a secret and remind all crewmembers not to wear it proudly, as Wesley is beginning to suspect something. I strongly second the reminder. Next announcement.

"Wesley's birthday party went through wonderfully, even though there were several close calls, as I may remind the ensigns in charge of the cake. Ahem. But the Enterprise Weaver's Guild now finds itself with an extreme shortage of wool. If you have a sheep you would like to donate, please bring it to Cargo Bay 3.

"And lastly, please everyone remember that Commander Riker and the Astral Phenomena Predominantly Yuppies Jazz Afficionado Zombies, or CRAPPYJAZ, will be playing here in Crew Lounge Four tomorrow night at 0700 for our special Anti-Wesley Fundraiser Bazaar. Be there or be square.


"And that concludes our announcements."