*A essential guide for Arkham inmates, fun
alternative to staring at the walls and counting the
cute little roaches who climb it*
Push your eyes for interesting light show
(just make sure not to push em in too hard, if you
see red you're dead)
See how long you can hold your breath
(you can't kill yourself this way so don't even try)
Try to not think about polar bears
(or better yet try not to think of polar bears
eating eskimos...)
Scratch yourself
(if you see veins popping out stop)
Hurt yourself
(this hurts me more than it does me)
Try to swallow your tongue
(for those of you with tongues over a foot long, It's
cheating)
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after
image
(stare at the guards... stare at the guards)
Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(try eating that stuff they call food)
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH VERY LITTLE
(this is when you break out or just received
probation.. those fools!)
See what's in your neighbor's trash
(they're all spies)
Call up people who write editorials you disagree with
(Criminals aren't bad they are just setup)
Make prank phone calls
(batwing and garlic pizza)
Pretend all humans will die except for
the person in the room with you (it won't be the person
you want, so stop pretending)
Step off a curb with eyes shut,
imagine it's a cliff
(tell someone it's a curb and watch 'em fall of a
cliff)
Burn things with a magnifying glass
(start itty bitty fires... then move on to bigger
territory)
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
(someone you can tolerate for a few minutes)
Have a water drinking contest
(followed by the whose got the bigger bladder
contest..try not to think of waterfalls.. try not to
think of waterfalls)
Stare at
the back of someone's head until they turn around
(really fun, don't stop staring at them, watch 'em
squirm and slither under their seats)
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(pull out a hare and stick it in someone's ear)
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on
back
of person's neck
(try acid, reaction is funnier)
<-----Back
Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes
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minutes
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5-10 minutes
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comments by Harley Quinn