Christie: I must say. Some of the stuff in this book is totally insulting to Mick! I must defend his honour.
Kinuyo: I liked the Graham and the Colonel thing with the Grim Reaper where Santo nudges Rob. He looked so- I dunno. I went all mushy inside.
Kim: Notice that Santo does a compression wave in another episode of TLS. The one with Chances and part 2 of the dinner party.
Kim: So your mother (Kinuyo's) would like you to marry someone like Santo. There are so many other "raunchy" guys in the D-Generation who are
eligible, handsome bachelors! (unlike the married Santo). You can choose from such a diverse array of "hunks".
1. Rob "the trunpet drowns out the tune"
2. Jason- he's "a tad raunchy"-Not!
3. Tom: "Pissweak world- now even pissier"
4. Mick- "controversial dutch ovens" "0055 717717"
WHAT CAN I SAY? You must adooooore Rob, Kinuyo. And he's just "like a tiger", n'est-ce pas? As for Jason, well, some people find him a tad raunchy and Tom? Well, he's the bee's knees, covers his head cos he's just half bald.
Plus who could forget "nice voice" Mick
-grunge lover extraordinaire, never washes..who have I left out?
Tony? Sorry. He's gay.
KINUYO: How many times does Jason get cut off/bashed?
*Christopher Columbus episode-everyone hated him
*Yothu Yindi- gets cut off whilst singing Xanadu
*Viking Talk- gets beheaded
*Karate thing- Santo hits him over the head
*Musical-Tom's day-Tom tells him to "Rack off!"
*Old people's shit- old woman pushes him out of the way
*Commercial crimestoppers- Santo bashes him up (as Wacky Waiter)
KIM:
*He comes last in the Paralympics thing
*Awards night- gets punched by Jane
*What's all that about?- He's doing a Cure sendup and Mick and Tone say "he looked like he was dead".
KIM:
Mick: Don't you look at me!
Tony: Are you talking to me?
Mick: Don't you look at me!
Tony: Are you talking to me?
Mick: Don't you look at me!
Tony: Are you talking to me?
Mick: Don't you look at me!
Tony: OK that's the formalities out of the way
Kinuyo: Hey people! No need to be embarrassed if you have Adidas brand anymore because true intellectuals know that it really stands for All Day I Dream About Santo
KIM: Tonga, tonga, tonga! 4 and a half minutes of s**t..the weather (GOOD! GOOD! GOOD!)
Christie (after doing "name-matching" quiz): I guess the man in my dreams, Rob, is not the man of my dreams. Slightly depressing. I was getting to like him.
THE LATE SHOW BOOK TWO!
KIM: Yr 10s had the words to Ouchy Wouchy Heart on a piece of paper.
KIM: There once was an ugly duckling, with feathers all scruffy and brown, And all the birds said in so many words, "Quack get out, quack quack, get out, quack quack, get out of town"...I feel like a Dickhead Tonight, like a Dickhead Tonight...
KINUYO: I'm beginning to like Tony now. His out of place canine tooth is rather becoming.
OURANIA: How can anymone be attracted to Mick Molloy? He's so grotty!
KIM: Mick's okay. When he's washed + sobered up + shaved + stopped smoking
Kinuyo: Had a haircut, stopped drinking...
SARAH: I like Jason
KIM: Certainly it is "original" to like Jason. But I suppose it's good there's someone out there that lkes old square chin...pardon my apparent ignorance, but I bloody never heard of the word GOOG. It is palindromically delightful, is it not, Anne? So is MADAMI'MADAM..my favourite spoonerism is FRIAR TUCK. Let's have fun with acronyms!
Totally
Original
Moron
Really
Onomatopoeic
Bull
Just
Another
Naive
Echidna
ANNE (meteor): From a book of NAMES:
Santo (Italian)=saint like
Robert (Teutonic)= bright flame; brilliant
Mick, from Michael (Hebrew)= like the Lored
Tony, from Antony (Greek)=inestimable, priceless
Jason (Greek)=healer
Tom, from Thomas (Greek)=twin
Jane (Hebrew) =God's gift of grace
Judith (Hebrew)=Jewish; Jewess, admired.
KINUYO: Notice that Mick and Tony work together a lot but they're total opposites? Like:
Mick is fat. Tony is thin
Mick's a slob. Tony's ultra clean-cut.
Mick's got a sense of humour, Tony's polite.
Mick's got scraggy hair that was long, Tony's got ultra-short hair.
Mick doesn't wear glasses, Tony does.
Mick's cheap, Tony has expensive taste.
Mick's got a neck, Tony doesn't.
Mick never sings, Tony does.
Mick can't play an instrument, Tony plays the guitar.
Mick is Australian, Tony's a Kiwi.
Mick's got a round face, Tony's got a pointy/long one.
Some of these comparisons are silly, some aren't.
I should be studying, but I'm not.
(Editor Kim's note: Oh, for it to be 1993 once more! Such silly 16 and 17 year olds we were.)
KINUYO: Of course Santo is still my favourite and no one else can take his place. (until Keanu Reeves came along-Ed) Unless Tony's nose goes down, he suddenly forms a neck and puts on a bit of weight! But until then I will remain as Kinuyo Cilauro. (Note that Kim has joined the Cilauros as well and Rowena has naively attempted to but was not accepted as a member.)
KIM: Things to Do During The Week Until TLS.
-Watch the reruns of TLS>
-See how many times Mrs Keam says "I'm not fussed about that"
-See how many times Mr Reis says "sex" in English
See how many names I can make out of SC's name
-See how long I can hold my breath. 52 seconds with red face.
-Find out where Santo lives
-Kill myself
-Be reincarnated as a virus (AIDS) (Did I really say that!????!!?!?!??)
-Be indestructible and multiply
-Get killed off by toxic fumes in Room 17
-Come back as a cockroach
-Get stepped on by Ms Napier in Food Technology
-Go to insect heaven
-Watch The Late Show
-Get hi on Liquid Paper. Harmful if inhaled. That's why I'm really 30 and seduce 17 year old schoolboys..Santo's neck is all weird. Like it's all wrinkly or something..NO MORE CHARLIE!
CHRISTIE: I almost like Rob best! HOW ASHAMED I AM..and "hands-off" is just too disgusting to mention. By the way..Mick is NOT grotty! I still haven't seen Tony's canine teeth. That's all, y'all!
ANNE (Meteor): Alas for Christie Molloy! Has Mick been "fooling around" on the sly? Is there "another woman" in his life? Would Mick Molloy and Sophie "Bugs Bunny/Sex" Lee make an attractive couple? Maybe she rang Mick's Love Line! One consolation: testing for compatibility using the Number Test.
SOPHE LEE AND MICK MOLLOY= 60
CHRISTIE DYKE AND MICK MOLLOY= 69
Kim: The Mrs Keam Geology Rap
Don't you know U get fussed about it
If you don't give a damn
Just ooze around ooze ooze ooze ooze ooze ooze around
Don't get fancy, I sure as hell can't
I wouldn't get fussed about it
Don't you HATE it when you're asleep at night (this was on the Warrumbungles geo excursion ad she goes, 'Don't you hate it when
you're asleep at night and your bottom sticks out and gets cold?')
Yo man, don't get fancy! Fly! Yo! Cool, man! Rad!
Kinuyo: I have noticied that Mick has a big nose. I've also noticed how his eyelids are droopy. And how Rob sometimes half closes his eyes when he talks and how Tom does funny things with his neck when he's doing the news and how Santo has to fiddle with his hands during Graham and the Colonel and how Mick and Tony always clap their hands together during the intro and how Judith laughs crookedly and how Jane sometimes jiggles her feet when she's sitting down. I never notice Jason. I try not to look at him.
ELAINE: Falling for Santo Cilauro has certainly made a big and wonderful difference in my life. I don't think I can live life without seeing Santo or hearing his voice very Saturday night. He is my honey. There is
plenty of Santo to pass around..I only watch him...It's just good to lust after him.
KIM: That cracks me up. "I lust after Santo". Ha! Just thought of something. Imagain lustin' after Justyn! (English teacher) YUK! SICK! THROW UP. SPEW!
KIM: They give me strength, determination and the will to live. (Jason of course exudes a diametrically opposite reaction). The very thought of their name sends shivers down my spine, tears in my eyes and the adrenalin pumping as I endeavour to envisage the excellent innovations they might come up with on the following LateShowDay.
KINUYO: I would just like to say that John Harrison (of the original D-Gen) is rather lovely and that it is such a waste that he is a lawyer now and not part of TLS.