Ewe World Order Update

deathsheep.com

Greetings to all of you who met my minions at the World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago. I am Fenton, the Death Sheep From Hell, and I am bent on global domination. Unlike a certain lab mouse I will not name, my ambitions do not stop at rulling the world. No, Earth is but a stepping stone on the road to galactic domination. The humans who submit to me now may find a place in the coming sheepocracy. Those who do not...well, let's just say you don't want to be one of them.

With Bill Gates and the pending breakup of Microsoft (all part of my master plan) in the news so much lately, this updated report on the Death Sheep/Microsoft alliance should remind you what Fenton is striving for--total global domination. Of course, Earth is but a stepping stone and Fenton's second trip to the Russian space station Mir is preparation for the building of the Lamb of Doom station from which Fenton will subjugate the entire galaxy.

Hockey No Longer Violent Enough
I like violence. Ice hockey used to be my favorite sport but my flaming eyes have been opened to a new, more violent sport: Rugby. Mister Bunny and I were in Australia recently and and attended a match. Bones crunched, blood was spilled--and I was hooked.

But still, I liked the comforts of an arena so I devised a sport with the violence of rugby but played indoors on thinly covered concrete. Yes, I present to you, my loyal minions, World Arena Rugby. I command you to view my creation and marvel. Also, you can view the shiny trophy I presented to the winning coach. (You humans will do almost anything for a shiny trophy.)

More Sports

Fenton and Al Gore
The U.S. presidential campaign is well underway and while Fenton's coming Sheepocratic rule will render the office meaningless, Fenton has been negotiating with both parties to make sure they manage his resources effectively. First up, Fenton and Vice President Al Gore. Enjoy.

True North Strong and Free?
Fenton likes Canada. He pledges to subjugate them last. Of course, this is Fenton we're talking about so Canadians should prepare to submit now when (not if) he changes his mind. (As, of course, he is entitled to do.)

SF Stars Help Fenton Conquer Stars
More and more stars of popular science fiction programming have agreed to help Fenton inform the masses, his future subjects, of his rightful place in the cosmos. Look for references to the Lamb of Doom space station to appear more frequently as well as plotlines reminding humanity that it is small, insignificant, and very tasty when served over a bed of rice.

Fenton Enjoys Robot Wars
Fenton's recent visit to England made him aware of a phenomenon sweeping the British Isles, Robot Wars. This series, the most popular on BBC2, pits large homemade robots against obstacles and each other in a contest of skill and strength. The robots are battered, bashed, set afire, punctured, and dropped into pits.

Robot Wars is brutal, destructive, and has the power to make children cheer and grown men cry--simultaneously. In short, it's Fenton's new favorite television series.

Fenton's vast network of minions has managed to cajole 36 PBS stations in the USA to start carrying the series. He orders you to contact your PBS affilaite to find out when they will start carrying this program. If they do not play to carry Robot Wars, let Fenton know so that he may put them on his Bad List. (Trust us, you do not want to be on Fenton's Bad List.)

Planning has moved forward on the construction of Mecha-Fenton. Intended to help Fenton subjugate mankind, Mecha-Fenton may now first be called on to subjugate other robots on British television. More on this as the situation develops.

Minionship Has Its Privileges
Send Fenton money to further his plans for global domination and he will instruct his minions to send you a Minionship package. This package includes a DeathSheep.com t-shirt, DeathSheep.com stickers, and a certificate with a genuine replica of Fenton's hoofprint certifying that you are one of Fenton's minions. As a bonus, the first group of humans that submit to Fenton and become his minions may receive e-mail forwarding with a DeathSheep.com address at no extra charge.

Fenton Ordained By ULC
Fenton is now an ordained minister. We're not kidding. Fenton doesn't like it when we kid. He's a real ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. Click here to read more!

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Text and images Copyright 1998, 2000 by PunJustice Productions.
"Fenton" and "Death Sheep From Hell" and Copyright and Trademark 1992, 2000 by Tom Smith and Pretzel Productions. Used with permission. All rights reserved.