Here are the members of the 12

    Toadboy- Our President, with great hair

    B-Cool, or is it Terrax, or Power, or Scavenger- God, I dunno. Vice Pres

    Maverick- Ex-President

    Sinister- Runner up in the Presidential race, and a great guy

    finar- One of the funniest guys on the Club, and a personal bud of mine

    The Nature Boy Stone Cold Zenith 230, Hero of the Beach- Jeez, gotta get him to shorten that name down someday

    Sparky, Girl Wonder- First female member of the Twelve

    Galvatron- Guy with Supreme Nately knowledge. Aced the Brotherhood test

    Dark Scorpion- Generous gal, who gave comics to all Bro'hood members

    Jinx- Sci-fi guru, and all round good guy

   Glenna B, G, or G-woman- The final initiate of the Twelve, and the keeper of the Letter opener of Death

    Finally, me, Morpheus- Good looking, smart, talented, not to mention modest

   Disclaimer: Some Marvel characters appear in this, so they are copyright of Marvel inc. All the above characters are real people, using pseudonyms(hey I CAN spell it)

   

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   In the middle of somewhere, the most important place on earth lay quiet. The Chosen Twelve's base of operations housed some of the most brilliant minds on the planet, and also some of the most powerful people as well. The Twelve inhabitants of the safehouse are almost beyond normal mortal ken, and some are in doubt as to whether they are indeed mortals.

    Right now, the people who would be gods are silent, concentrating on one task, and one task alone. There was a crisis. finar's dog had escaped.

    The dog had also stolen Morpheus' super-powered trainers, which were the items that gifted him with super-speed. So capturing Angel, the wonder dog was going to be a bit difficult.

    Barry had adopted the persona of Scavenger, who had some tracking powers, as well as a pair of ridiculously large wings. He had Angel cornered near Sinister's holo-suite, and he had been crouched on his knees for about the last two hours. He was just preparing to pounce on Angel, after Toadboy had coaxed him out of Maverick's computer stronghold with promises of ultra-conditioned styling wax. Now, the dog was just about relaxed, while Zenith was holding Morpheus back from killing the poor dog. In fact, that was probably the only thing The Nature Boy could do, because as soon as finar mentioned that his dog had escaped, Zenith had dived into his pile of leftover pizza, and only emerged when someone mentioned the Playboy channel.

    As I said, Scavenger was about to pounce to catch Angel when......

    *DA-DUM-DADADA-DUM-DA-DUM-DUMMMMMMMMMM*

    .....Sparky, Girl Wonder walked in.

    And Angel ran. He ran so fast in fact, that he sent everyone spinning, and when they stopped, the dog was back, carrying a pile Xerox copier paper that he had stolen from his master's room.

   "SPARKY!" everyone shouted in unison.

    "What?" she shouted, genuinely not knowing what she had done wrong.

    "We had nearly caught Angel," finar said, "when you walked in, and ruined our plan.

    "Jeez, calm down, it's only a dog escaped, you'll catch him in no time."

  "No," Maverick said, "Angel stole Morp's trainers, and he's running about like a diarretic eating liquidised prunes now! We can't catch him."

    "Oh," Sparky said, "Sorry."

    "Wait a minute guys," Sinister shouted from a window, "Remember Mav said we were getting six people to test for membership? Well they're here!"

    Everyone rushed out to the window, and saw six decidedly different individuals walking up to the door. One was a big, hulking manga-style robot; one was dressed in an all black cloaked outfit; one was wearing a magicians robe, with a pointy hat; one was outfitted in something similar to what Dana Scully would wear, except for the huge G emblazoned on the back of it. The penultimate candidate had a skin tight lycra outfit on, with a huge dark cloud sewed onto the torso, and the final one was not wearing any clothes at all, since he was made entirely of....marshmallow? That can't be right......wait, it is!

    The small girl wearing the all-black outfit walked up to the door, and pressed the doorbell.

    RIBBID-RIBBID

    "Hey Toadboy," Scavenger said, peeling off his wings, "Cool doorbell!" Scavenger was no longer Scavenger anymore, but he had transformed into the king of smoothness, and all round slick guy, B-Cool.

    "Yeah, part of the Presidential privileges. I get to choose what the doorbell sounds like."

    "God," said Maverick, "Hate to think what would've happened if Zenith won the election."

    "Hey," Zenith replied, "i would only've limited it to a few curses and obscenities 'ere and there!"

    "Stop it just now guys, we've gotta test these....things outside." finar said, while opening the door.

    "He's right," said Maverick, "Remember, we're the Twelve, not the eight."

  finar could be heard saying, "Come in, one and all! Welcome to our magnificent abode!"

    Then, there were six people standing in front of our eight brave little heroes, all representing the worst of humanity.

    "Hmm," said Toadboy, "What do we do now?"

    "Ah know," Morpheus exclaimed, "Wuv tae initiate them!"

    "Coooooooolllll," B-Cool said, after just slicking back his hair so it was plastered to his skull, "What sorta thing will we do, bruthas?"

    "Wellll," Zenith said, "We could see if they can hold their booze, and see if they can stand up to a Stone Cold swearing session, to test their durability."

    "Nonononononononononononono friend Zenith," finar burst out with, "we don't want friend Toadboy passing out again. Remember, friend Toadboy is the last Boy Scout."

    Zenith lowered his head, muttering, "feck! arse! drink! girls! feckin' nuns!"

    Everyone ignored this typical bout of Zenith's incessant swearing, and focused on the task at hand, which was the initiation of the final four members of the Twelve. If you listened hard enough, you could hear the cogs grinding.

    Toadboy got an idea. "What about....having their hair approved by me?"

    "Yeah," B-Cool said, "And I can approve their costumes and code-names. After all, we can't have ridiculous people in our group.." B-Cool looked around, then said, "Hmm. Scratch that last remark. It's just for fashion reasons only."

    "Oh oh oh oh! finar got idea! finar got idea!"

    "Whit is it finar?" Morpheus asked.

    "finar get to swing hammer at them! If they move, they're out! Test scardieness."

    "Okay," Maverick said, "That's three ideas. Any more?"

    "Ah'll rate thir powers," Morpheus said, "tae see if thir any use 'n a figh'."

    Sparky said, "How about they have to resist Mav's telepathy, to test how strong their will is?"

    "Right. That's five. Should be enough."

    Then, Sinister turned to the six on beside the door, who were frankly a bit scared. After all, wouldn't you be? A crazed teenage Scotsman, an obscene pissed Welshman, and various specimens of the dregs of American society standing before you, about to decide your fates? Jeez, it gives me the creeps just writing the stuff.

    Sinister said, "Okay! Who's first for the Barry S Lee costume and code-name perusal?"

    The petite girl in the all-black outfit said, "I'll go," with her hands shaking and her voice quivering.

    B-Cool had put on his most intelligent looking specs, and had now adopted the persona of Fash-un, image consultant to super-heroes. "Name."

    "Dark Scorpion."

    "Sounds good. A touch of mysticism, with just a hint of eastern influence. Nice dark sound, if you forgive the pun. Okay, you pass the codename check. Now, the costume....verrrrry good. The cloak is a beautiful touch, and the knee boots simply scream retro to me. You have passed with flying colors. Next!"

    The robot stepped forward with a clank of machinery, and said, "Galvatron."

    "Oh, this is wonderful. A brilliant mix of western and eastern culture, and the outfit is pure manga all the way. Such a modern statement. Again, you pass! Next."

    The next poor fool to step forward was the guy in the lycra bodysuit, with a cloud on his chest. "Anal Dude."

    "I don't even want to think! Next."

    The next to come forward was the woman in the suit with a G on it. "G, or G-woman."

    "Hmm. Could be more original, but I see where you're coming from with the G-woman aspect. I love the suit, that G is simply darrrling. You can pass. Next."

    The wizard guy stepped forward and said, "Jinx."

    "Oh, amazing, I love the name. Suggests a magical background with a splash of British mythology. And the costume! Oh, the costume! I love this too! It reflects your name wonderfully! Pass. Next!"

    Finally, the marshmallow thing oozed forward, and said, in a voice like sludge filling up a jello-mould, "Bloblok."

    "No. That is ridiculous, I cannot allow someone whose name sounds like something you throw up to pass my standards! And the costume! What costume? Fail, miserably!"

    "Okay, then." Sinister said, "So far, Bloblok and Anal Dude have failed the test. Right, Morp, you do yours now."

    "Yas. Ah'll tone my accent doon a bit fur noo. Lessee. Galvatron, whit are your powers?"

    "I can mimic anything I see on TV, in a comic, or in any form of media. Oh, I can turn into a big, hulking, psycho robot as well, like I've done for today."

    "Okay, thass cool. G."

    "I can teleport anyone I think who is a moron to anywhere I want, and I've got some mild telekinetics. And I'm an ace with a pistol, as long as it's government regulation size."

    "Righ'. Anal Dude."

    "I've got, like, knarly mutant powers dude. I can, y'know, emit a toxic gas through my butt, huh-huh. I said butt. Huh-huh. Cool."

   "Hey," Zenith shouted, "i can do that as well!"

    "Shut up", Morpheus said, "Anal Dude, that powers cool, you pass definitely."

    Then, Sparky shouted, "What are you, nuts Morp?"

    "Naw, I jus' love that power. Hey, it's ma choice, right?"

    Mumblings of grudging aggrement from everyone.

    "Okay, who's next? Jinx."

    "I have hyper-learning, knowledge of anything sci-fi related, and I also have the power of ten magicians."

    "Umm, okay. Dark Scorpion."

    "I have no need of any super-powers! My body is honed to physical perfection, and I have mastery over any weapon that has a blade. Observe."

    At that, she threw an apple into the air, grabbed a fencing rapier from the assortment of weapons in her pack, and sliced the apple into neat pieces, with it cored as well.

    "Impressive. And finally, Bloblok."

    "I am made entirely of marshmallow."

    "And....?"

    "And that's it."

    "Unh-unh. Shite. No way."

    "Right, so far, Bloblok has failed twice, and Anal Dude has failed once. Everyone else is fine so far. Now, you wanna take over Toadboy?"

    "Okay! Ittttttt's hair inspection time! Right, you're first Bloblok."

    The marshmallow Bloblok reluctantly removed his blue sailor's cap, only to reveal his bald white head.

    "N-n-n-n-nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Toadboy shouted, then promptly broke into a cold sweat, and fell to the ground shivering out of fear.

    The Bloblok said, "Did I do something wrong?"

    Maverick, who was trying to get Toadboy off the ground, said, "Nah, it's just that Toadboy here is a little sensitive when it comes to hair, so since you've got none, he got a little upset. You should've seen his grandpa when he lost his hair. Sheesh! Personally, I never knew how flexible styling combs could be!"

    Before we got a chance to hear more of Maverick's horrific tales, Sinister thankfully said, "I think we can skip the hair test for now. The Toadster isn't exactly up to it. Right, on to finar's test."

    "Okay people," finar said, "Everyone together, group photo time!"

    The candidates slowly huddled together, and when finar ducked into a drawer to supposedly get his camera, he grabbed his huge hammer, yanked it out, and swung it at the hapless six.

    PHWAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP

    "Ew!" Sparky screamed, "Anal Dude! That was disgusting!"

    "Sorry," he said, looking sheepishly down at his now-brown shoes.

    "Okay," Sinister said, holding his nose, "Blubnluk ant Anal Dute arr on dwo a biece. Wets have Mav's test."

    Maverick, rubbing his hands with glee, ignored any introductions, and started his test immediately. ()

    Anal Dude gave in first, half-stabbing his eye out with the force he used. Bloblok, too, stubbed one podgy finger into one podgy eye. The other four, however, seemed to be resisting. Jinx was tempted, and he could be heard mumbling, "poke....eye....NO! stronger ....than..that....Ah shaddup.....just do it......NO! jinx....strong..get out...head!" After that he wasn't bothered any more, and was free of Maverick's telepathic possession.

    "Right!" said Sinister, "That's Bloblok and Anal Dude out again. It looks like they're goners."

    Then Morpheus said, "G-Woman, seeing as yer part o' us noo, gonna git rid o' these pricks?"

    "Sure thing." She snapped her fingers, and Bloblok and Anal Dude disappeared in a flash of light, and they then appeared in the middle of a commitee meeting discussing aeroplanes, with answering machines going off in the background.

    Toadboy had now sufficiently recovered, and said, "Right, as President of ClubNate, I hereby appoint you four brave little heroes the final members of the Twelve, long may you live."

    "Yippee", Zenith muttered, then said, "Anyone want ta go doon the pub?"

    THE END

    *********************

    NEXT ISH: DUM-DUM-DUM!! Guess what? The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Bloblok attacks!! He's back, and time it's personal! He's after the Brave Little Toadster, and he's vicious this time.

Who will win? Find out next time, same Nate place, same Nate club, same pants!!!