Politically Correct Crap

Here is a compilation of politically correct alternatives to the slang that many people use in disregard to those who might be offended by it. This list serves to promote language that is entirely devoid of sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, regionalist, ageist, lookist, ableist, sizeist, speciesist, intellectualist, socioeconomicist, ethnocentrist, phallocentrist, or heteropatriarchalist ideals, or any beliefs not mentioned above. But when intelectually comprehending (rather than just reading) the text below, be sure to remember that, honoring the feminist movement and blatantly ignoring gender non-specificity and the grievences of a patriarchal society, there is no "man" in womyn.

blind: optically challenged
woodchopper: log-fuel technician
social: overly gregarious
crude: decorum impaired
getting drunk: abusing alcohol
touch: invade one's personal space
stupid: wisdom challenged, cerebrally constrained, mentally challenged
handicapped: differently or specially abled
poor: economically disadvantaged or marginalized, disposessed, lacking material accomplishment, excluded from the normal circles of economic activity
short: vertically challenged, differently statured
old: chronologically advanced, accomplished, or gifted
mean: kindness impaired
handsome: of greater-than-average physical attractiveness
ugly: differently visaged
rude: socially dysfunctional
hot: thermally enhanced
tall: vertically gifted
pale: melanin impoverished
dead: nonviable
impotence: involuntary suspension from phallocentric activity
criminal: former client of the correctional system
book: processed tree carcass

If you gained personal satisfaction from the above, feel free to contribute additional material by mailing me your inquiry.