In the unlikely event of Dustin Hoffman's death the most important thing is to remain calm.
Civil and Military authorities as well as State, Federal, and Local entertainment reporters will be on hand issuing information, giving specific instructions, and helping victims to cope.
Should Dustin Hoffman die in your home or otherwise in your presence and no papparazzi are present immediately call your local all sports talk radio network. Then remain calm, try to relax, sit down, have a drink.
If you have quit smoking you might want to take it up again.
If you have a cat, shave it, then show remorse.
Isn't it about time you learned to tie real manly sailor's knots? Dustin would have wanted it that way.
Try to remember a time when it seemed like Dustin and you were close, perhaps you should tell your neighbors about it, they like it when you share stories.
Finally, try and find some time for the Dustin within.
It's true, they are not married because they love and cherish eachother and want to spend the rest of their puny earth-lives together! They are in fact married only to cover-up their sickenning personal secrets!
Antonio Banderas is trying desperately to hide his fragile ego and profound fear of failure.
Melanie Griffith is married only to feed her dehabilitating love addiction and flee her ever-increasing fear of aging.
Woody's major film "White Men Can't Jump" exposed the truth about race in America. For years the white, corporate media had been flooding America with the belief that blacks and whites were utterly equal on the playing field. Woody shattered the stereotype of the skilled white athlete and broke the white elite's monopoly of sports mythology. Way to go, Woody!
Woody struck another blow for truth in his movie "Mr Pervert Walks Again". Porn moghuls and their corporate financiers had been arguing for years about the presence of a "First Amendment" guaranteeing freedom of speech and press. It took Woody and his raw courage to ensure that such a measure was eventually passed. Exploiting women's bodies and the puerile instincts of desperate men is now a booming and protected business throughout earth. Up with Woody!
Woody's breakthrough role as "Woody" on the plodding and predictable situation "comedy," Cheers, got America out from its paralysing prejudices about rural types. For years these sage front-porch Platos had relentlessly upstaged and one-upped their City Cousins with their quick wit, cunning, and horse sense. Woody was the first in Hollywood to tell the truth: Hicks are Idiots! Sucks to you, Lumpenproletariat! Huzzah for Woody!
Woody's tireless efforts to have his father's murder conviction overturned are slowly turning the public's eyes to the bright light of truth. Woody's father says he didn't assassinate that federal judge, and by golly Woody (and us bots) believe him. Recent polls indicate that 75% of US inmates are wrongly incarcerated as they insist, with real feeling, that they didn't do it. Well, Wood-man, this battle isn't won yet, but someday it shall be and you will be hailed as the hero you are! Kudos to Woody!
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Well may you wonder how this project is funded.
We are also involved in artistic endeavours of our own.
Perhaps you would consider rethinking your diet plans?
Explore the heritage of your conquerors.
Your world is in some trouble.
If'n the spiders don't get ye, the survivors will envy the dead.
Who is worried about Dustin?
Could it get any worse for the robots?
Care to comment on the situation?
Robots warned since 20 June 1999
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