Thought of the Day

What follows is my Thought of Day. Goal: A profound thought from my mind.

11/26/01 It's my birthday today. Instead of celebrating I am doing homework (I'm in grad school). Thought: I guess this is what it means to be a grown-up, sigh.

6/16/00 I get up every weekday, drive 40 minutes to work in an under-payed, low-status job even though I have 11 years business experience and a college degree for what? Thought: Because I'm a sell-out for the man.

September 23, 1999 - Hurricane Floyd flooded entire area where I live. Peoples basements, everything gone. But not my house. Thought: Am I really so self-centered that I can only bitch about how slow they were to turn my phone line back on? Answer: Yup.

August 1, 1999 - Linda Tripp is being charged with illegal wire-tapping. Thought: Can't think, only laugh. Ha, Ha, Ha.

July 30, 1999 - A "day-trader" recently offed his family and then went on a killing spree at a securities firm. Said firm is apparently where he lost much money trading stocks. Thought: Can "day-trader killers" soon take the place of postal worker killers? Instead of going "postal" will we soon be able to say "I day-traded him"?

July 22, 1999 - This past weekend I went to two different barbeque's. Each person house had a bathroom with the window WIDE open. One person's bathroom actually faced the deck where everyone was sitting outside. In both cases anybody who looked could easily see in let alone HEAR what was going on inside (the bathroom's were both on the 1st floor). Thought: I hate this type of scenario. Why oh why do people think it's a good idea? I mean at least close the blinds! P.S. This does not happen in MY bathroom where one can pee in peace.

July 22, 1999 (Disclaimer) - Well, well, I obviously did not reach my goal for putting my profound thoughts down everyday here. But I did have profound thoughts everyday. Really. In any event I have good reason. I graduated college, moved, got married and as John Lennon said "Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans." So now that I've got my S*** together, I'm writing more profound things again. The world can breath a sigh of relief!

April 16, 1999 - So it looks like the USA has gotten itself involved in another war-thingy in the Balkans. Thought: Does anybody understand what the hell is going on there?

April 6, 1999 - Went hiking today for several miles. Wanted to get in touch with my body. Thought: Several aching parts of my body are now getting in touch with me. Oo that hurts.

April 5, 1999 - Jelly beans - standard Easter fare. Thought: What punishment in hell awaits those (unnamed) members of my family that pick out and eat all the red ones?

April 4, 1999 - Easter Sunday with all the family. Thought: Got to be fast to duck the flying food during family spats.

April 3, 1999 - Reconnoiter with mother on what she bought kid for Easter. Oh great mom, another furby. Thought: She is really paying me back for my adolescent years.

April 2, 1999 - Buy a Furby for kid for Easter. Thought: Cute for five minutes and then muderous thoughts start to form.

April 1, 1999 - Ahhh first day of real freedom. Can do whatever I feel like all day long. Thought: Oh Sh*t! Just realized kid has only a half-day at school.

March 31, 1999 - 3rd day of freedom last day with outplacement group. Thought: Call me paranoid, but I think the people who work at the outplacement firm takes bets on the employability of the losers who traipse through there.

March 30, 1999 - 2nd day of freedom. Go to seminar again. Thought: Am convinced seminar leader thinks all of us there are a bunch of losers.

March 29, 1999 - !st day of freedom. Go to ex-company paid "outplacement" seminar. Thought: Received confirmation of what was already known. Have spent past five years rotting the brain cells away.

March 28, 1999 - Major, pounding, splitting, all encompassing headache. Thought: Why don't they invent an automatic temple massager? I can't convince any member of my family to keep it up for more than five minutes.

March 27, 1999 - Got sick last night. Had to go to emergency room. Thought: It figures, first day of freedom from my job and I get debilitated.

March 26, 1999 - D-Day. Last day at this hell-hole of employment. Thought: Can't think of anything but get me outta here.

March 25, 1999 - One more day and no more work! So much to do. Thought: Must load computer virus onto Boss' computer before I leave.

March 24, 1999 - Two more days until the offical lay-off last day at work. Thought: Do not even approach me to do any work.

March 23, 1999 - (For my Boober) Bought coffee the other day. By accident got it with 1/2 the caffeine. What yuppie drove the idea of only 1/2 the caffeine? Thought: Must deal with cranky S.O. until this can runs out.

February 28, 1999 - Boss is a computer-illiterate bureaucratic self-centered oaf who never believed the day would come that he would fall so far and actually have to type for himself. He offered to pay me personally to teach him. Thought: I'm way to secure in my self-esteem to gloat over this moment.

February 27, 1999 - Getting married in June. House-hunting now. Haven't found anything. We both currently have a 1-bedroom apt each. Thought: Be the ultimate modern couple with different last names and different addresses.

February 26, 1999 - Last half of last semester of school. Tired, worn and exhausted. Thought: Will buy term-papers - no questions asked.

February 25, 1999 - So finally get word that basically, the whole office at my job is closing in one month. Thought: YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE!

February 24, 1999 - Read an article about a guy that studies bacteria and microbes in people's bathrooms. Besides the inherent yuck factor, this got me thinking. Thought: This guy could write his dissertation about my bathroom easily.

February 23, 1999 - Kid solves Rubic's cube at age 12. I mean really solves the damn thing and writes a book about it. Now he's grown and getting attention for some quantam-physics type stuff. Thought: Well that puts my genius in perspective.

February 22, 1999 - Lauren Hill, nominated for 14 grammy - comes away with 5 and she's only 23. Thought: Nice to be reminded about how little I have accomplished in my 28 years.

February 21, 1999 - New security guard at work. Must stare several times to make out gender. Thought: Is there some law that says if you are female you must be ahem, butchy?

February 20, 1999 - A modern tale. Call guy from payphone, he's on-line. Leave message, say I will beep you with # to call. Beep, wait for call back - nothing. Call again, no answer, caller ID must not identify where calling from. Call again, on-line again. Epiphany: Go check my e-mail -- there's a message from the guy! "Did not get beep, waited for call, thought you were on-line, went back on-line, got 2nd message from you". E-mailed answer back. Never spoke with the guy - but communicated nevertheless. Thought: Ah, romance in the late-90's!

February 19, 1999 - Yet a third week without work on who gets the axe at my job. Thought: Fine with me, I spend all day mapping out my business plan for my own company.

February 18, 1999 - 29 more working days left at work. (for whoever gets canned). Thought: I'm so bored at work that I actually counted this.

February 17, 1999 - Should be in class tonight. Know I can get away with the cut since I haven't yet missed a class. Thought: Knowing when I can get away with this - knowledge I needed in high-school.

February 16, 1999 - Read that Kate Moss is looking for sympathy because she's a drunk. Poor, poor millionaire supermodel. Thought: I have about as much sympathy as when the striking b-ball players held a "charity" benefit for "lesser-paid" players, i.e. those making $500G's a year.

February 15, 1999 - My "official" anniversary with my beloved. Went grocery shopping together. Thought: Romance in the real world.

February 14, 1999 - Ah amour! The day for lovers! Thought: One year into relationship, forget the flowers- do the dishes. That will make me melt.

February 13, 1999 - Chocolate. In little squishy candies. A whole box for myself. Chocolate fantasies dancing on my tongue. Thought: It's kinda orgasmic - close to infidelity.

February 12, 1999 - Clinton not impeached. This past year has been hype, hype, hype. Thought: Reminds me of the OJ trial.

February 11, 1999 - So Linda Tripp was only protecting Monica. Acting like a surrogate mother. Joan Crawford playing Linda Tripp in the movies. Thought: "No more wire-tapping, EVER!"

February 10, 1999 - An Ode to Cartman and Linda Tripp. Thought: She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, a big fat bitch, a lying, backstabbing bitch, bitch, bitch.

February 9, 1999 - Austin Powers, Star Wars. How many hours I have spent downloading and viewing these trailers? Thought: More time than the actual movies run, I'm sure.

February 8, 1999 - Cops shoot unarmed man over 40 times. Kill him instantly. They "thought" he was reaching for a gun. Now they all have desk duty. Thought: And jail wouldn't be a good option for them?

February 7, 1999 - It's looking more and more like my boss could get demoted in this lay-off. Thought: Yesssssssss!

February 6, 1999 - Man drives drunk. Kills entire family. He is charged with murder (It's almost always a lesser charge). Thought: This is only news because most drunk drivers get away with the proverbial "slap on the wrist". Isn't it always murder?

February 5, 1999 - Still no word on lay-off's at job. Make us wait to see who gets the axe - "To Torture Employees" is company motto. Thought: Way I see it, the only legimate way to spend my work day now is web-surfing.

February 4, 1999 - Monica Lewinsky admits she still has some feelings for Bill. Thought: Denial aint just a river in Africa.

February 3, 1999 - Boss keeps smiling at me every time he looks at me. Acts as if everything is normal despite the "need to reduce overhead", i.e. people. Thought: I hope this "happiness" of my boss means that I get laid-off. The thought of actually keeping my job makes me nauseous.

February 2, 1999 - Big meeting at work. Some people will be "asked to leave" Sales are suffering, there needs to be "restructuring". Thought: Is the ultimate indignity being called "overhead"?

February 1, 1999 - Whoo-Hoo! Just finished my first month of profound, cynical, sarcastic observations for 1999. Thought: I'm feeling better already!

January 31, 1999 - I've seen a lot of "count-down" clocks lately. Mostly count-down to Y2K. Just saw "count-down to our wedding" clock. Thought: If you buy a "count-down" clock, you need to take yourself out of the human gene pool.

January 30, 1999 - My cat, from a sound sleep, will in a glimmer, open her eyes, cock her head and stare intently into space. Thought: Communications from the mother ship?

January 29, 1999 - Boss likes to *F* with me when he can. Friday 5 minutes to quitting time asks me to send a bunch of faxes. I smile, go away for 5 minutes, come back and say goodnight. The faxes are still sitting on my desk, unsent. Thought: Don't *F* with a person who really doesn't give a *S*!

January 28, 1999 - I can order food, clothing, music, videos, books, gifts, etc. over the internet. I can communicate with people all over the world in seconds with e-mail. Thought: Soon I will never have to leave my house! No more dealing with other people : paradise.

January 27, 1999 - For the past few weeks I have been cheerily sending on jokes, etc to my mom via e-mail. I do this because I'm afraid nobody will e-mail her, so I don't want her to feel bad. Well just received an e-mail from a woman who politely asked me to stop e-mailing her that I have her mixed up with someone else. (Yeah, my mom!) Thought: #1, why did this woman tolerate my weeks of e-mail only to now inform me she was not the intended recipient. #2, why has my mom been telling she's been getting my e-mail?

January 26, 1999 - There is so much to see, so much info to gather. I have piles of "clippings". E-mail files stacked up. URLS to visit. Thought: Can't write now, have to read about mad cow disease. My life would be empty without that info.

January 25, 1999 - They say we are living in a time of information overload. That we cannot escape for even the briefest amount of time. Advertisers are infiltrating us where ever we look. Thought: How about inventing a chip that produces ads while a person sleeps?

January 24, 1999 - Just started my last semester of my undergraduate career. I should be excited, elated and proud of my achievement. Thought: I''m so pathetic, I'm wondering now what I'll do with my new-found spare time.

January 23, 1999 - I'm scared. The Goo-Goo Dolls have released another song. Will they play it on the stations as much as that damned "Iris"? Thought: Yah you bleed from your ears to know the Goo-Goo's are still alive.

January 22, 1999 - My company has for the past 3 years laid-off employees the same time every year with a nice package. Thought: My job is the only place where employees want, hope, pray and wish to be the "lucky" ones -- those who get fired!

January 21, 1999 - All day long at work all's I do is stare into the computer screen. Between breaks in school I have nothing to do. Thought: Not for the first time I thank a supreme being for the internet connection at work.

January 20, 1999 - Some kid is suing the Bronx Zoo because the gorillas threw stones at him, not just on one visits but two. Now he says he traumatized and scared of primates. Thought: I'm scared of a primate also -- I call him boss.

January 19, 1999 - Clinton to give his state of the union tonight. Thought: While he's talking, will everyone in the audience be picturing Monica under the desk? (I know I will).

January 18, 1999 - Yesterday I watched my first football game in it's entirety. Jets vs some team that won. Thought: Women view football like men do women. It's not who's involved or how they get there - it's just that they score.

January 17, 1999 - I gave my mother my old computer. I thought it might entertain her so she'll stop calling me so often. I set up an e-mail account for her. I thought she'd stop calling me so much. Thought: Mom, it is not now necessary to call me to tell me you sent me an e-mail.

January 16, 1999 - Watched Titanic again while bored stiff out of my mind at home. Thought: If they both sat indian syle on that damn headboard, couldn't they both have survived?

January 15, 1999 - No sarcastic thought today. Today is Martin Luther King's Birthday (celebrated on Monday). I'm not particularly fond of martyrs but Dr. King was very special. Thought: Go to my link page below and read his "I Have a Dream" speech. Ask yourself why does it still have to be a dream?

January 14, 1999 - Driving home in my 4-door sedan in snow. 4-wheel drive SUV's drive 60MPH passed me spraying slush all over my windshield resulting in blindness. Thought: Public flogging in the nude is the only sane punishment for those ***holes!

January 13, 1999 - Snow and ice fall so gracefully to the street as I peer out of the window in my office. I listen to the melodic tunes of the ambulances and police sirens as they rush to the site where two cars have danced into each other on the road. The employer says: Very dangerous out there, all employees should stay in office to be safe - never mind nonsense about going home to family. Thought: I'm beginning to tune into what those dis-gruntled ex-postmen were feeling.

January 12, 1999 - Pres. Clinton has teenagerish affair. Country doesn't care. Media pushes it into our faces. Society still doesn't care. Impeachment trial going on now. We still don't care. What does this say about our morals in this country? Thought: Don't care.

January 11, 1999 - Thinking of Grad School. Must take GRE. I am an English major. Going to grad school for writing. Must take large, imposing math section for GRE. Thought: At this stage in the game, the only well-roundessness I want for myself is my body.

January 10, 1999 - Jets just won championship. Serious press conference and interviews with coach and players after game. All taking about what a challenge and how hard it was to win. All looked like they were ready to cry. Thought: Testosterone really makes men take some things way too seriously.

January 9, 1999 - Recently I have not met my current boss working for $5.25 an hour in a bookstore. Thought: Patience is a virtue. I'll wait :-).

January 8, 1999 - Recently I met my former boss in a bookstore. He was an employee there. He wound up having to serve me. Thought: There is some justice in the world.

January 7, 1999 - Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. Alanis says the same catch phrase over and over and over in every one of the songs on that album. Thought: Should have entitled CD: Retro Skipping LP Junkie.

January 6, 1999 - Bruce Willis says he cannot be monogamous because he's an Alpha male and is genetically destined to spread his Alpha-sperm to as many woman as possible. Thought: What if all women decide to mate only with Beta males (those monogamous creatures). Would they eventually evolve into Alphas? Bonus: The Beta-max was a superior product. P.S. I love my Beta! (male)

January 5, 1999 - I hate my job. Corporate America, that life-sucking vampire. Only the butt-smoochers get rewarded. Thought: Need to start THE mass-proletariat revolution, all aboard comrades!

January 4, 1999 - Those Burger King commercials that have '70's songs playing in the background while a hamburger spins around and around. Thought: I am being driven slowly insane by that "Loving you" song. Do do in do Ahhhhh.

January 3, 1999 - Why are all the great sales immediately after Xmas? Everything at least 50% off. I have no money left folks! Thought: Retailers are satanist.

January 2, 1999 - In New Jersey the average cost of cigarettes is $3.65 per pack.Thought: At this price it is cheaper to smoke pot.

January 1, 1999 - 364 days until the end of the world. Stockpile essentials now, as the paranoid in our society say. Thought: What will the human gene pool look like if only those guys survive to reproduce?