This is an attempt at documenting the past and future exploits of those who have worn the sacred Crown de AAFES bag -
The Phun 
Bunche
You may ask yourself; "who are these guys anyway?"
you may ask yourself; "do I really care"
you may ask yourself; "did you enjoy christmas at Rheuling Frauburg Castle(Gates - you big dumb J....., ahem)"
you may say to yourself; "my god............... it's Toonces driving a HEMTT!"
If you can identify with the first two statements, you probably won't want to stick around - it may get ugly. If, however, you can identify with the latter statements, then you have found your home-away-from-home. Waaayyyooooo - Herbsworld Rules!!!
David Jackson aka Jack - Former President of PhunBunche. Once quoted as saying "Get your damn hands off of my peanuts". Provider of the Wondrous Furry Brown Couch of Contentment. Last known to be stationed somewhere in Georgia? Currently listed as M.I.A. and assumed to be building a bigger and better set of display shelves for his "precious antiquities".
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Emlen Hamilton aka Hambone - Former Enforcer and Spouter of Moonisms. Once quoted as saying "What the #&%$ are we doing on the top of this %$#& smokestack in the middle of winter". Keeper of the Pretzels of Iniquity. Currently residing in that happenin' burg Ug-gene, workin' as a cabinetmaker and hunting for rabid protesting bicyclists.
Joe Halloran aka Big Joe - Former Enforcer and Displayer of Moderately Obscene Gestures. Once quoted as saying "No really, I can turn these things up to eleven". Smoker of the Cloves of Omniscience. Last known to be an officer?!?(a captain even), married (Her name is Heather), and stationed in Ft. Sill, OK. They just had a little girl named Zoe Love Halloran (born on July 24th, 2000). Currently known as "The man for whom sleep is now a myth".
Jay Gates aka The Big Dumb Jew (no offence intended to the Jewish population) - Former Official Ogre and Destroyer of Suggestion Boxes. Once quoted as saying "You can't make me leave this castle, dammit!". Eater of all things Indigestible. Last known to be living in either Ohio or Kentucky? Currently listed as M.I.A. and presumed to be stalking Kip Winger.
Walter Gerecke aka Bart - Former Occasional Unannounced Dropin and Pizza Scammer. Once quoted as saying "You gonna eat all that". Official Impersonator of Greg LeMans. Last known to be living somewhere in Washington State working at a prosthetic limb factory(no, really). Currently listed as M.I.A. and presumed to be working on his mountain bike.
Joe Beck aka Chainsaw - Former Enforcer and Wrecker of Defenseless Mopeds. Once quoted as saying "Hey look, boy cows!". Writer of the Chainsaw Trilogy (make fun of the Chainsaw Trilogy - NOT SMART!). Last known to be running a warehouse and getting his sh** together - good job mon!
George Brian Grindstaff aka Uh, well......George - Former Enforcer and Imbiber of The Daniels de Jack. Once quoted as saying "One hen, two ducks, three squawking oysters....no, wait a minute". Official Inhabiter of the Land of Dave'sworld(there's no such thing as Dave'sworld - Slam). Currently known to be a married (her name is Andrea)and working as a line finder for a major utility concern in Lawton, OK. He has a boy named James and just had another little guy named Carl (also born on July 24th, 2000).
Click on picture for larger version and links to some of George's digital art (art link currently down - but he's hunting the evil bastards who made them go bye-bye)
David Clark aka Toonces - Former Cat Who Could Drive a HEMTT. Once quoted as saying "Ooheeeeaahhoowww.....Thank You". Official Wearer of the Scar of Unconscious Latrineage. Last known to be somewhere in the Greater Northwest. Currently listed as M.I.A. and assumed to be hunting us all down and making us pay!
Charles VanWinkle aka Winkie - Former Roommate and Honorary Member with Limited Privileges. Once quoted as saying "I used to know Vanilla Ice before he made it big". Official wearer of the Speedos of Discouragement. Last known to be in the military, stationed somewhere in Georgia. Currently listed as M.I.A. and assumed to be eating pork rinds.
Michael McClure aka MailDude - Former VP, Pres, and Carrier of the Mailbag of Liquor Transportation. Once quoted as saying "Sir, we were nowhere near the Mock Village...Sir, we were nowhere near the Commissary...Sir, we were nowhere near their motorpool". Official Keeper of the Online Archives of the One and Only Phun Bunche. Currently living in Grants Pass, OR and hoping to survive raising two little girls, oye!
Out of the Gloom and Despair of Baumholder, F.R.G. came a sound. It started out as a mere whisper, then slowly grew to a deafening roar. It was a shout, a call to arms, it was.........Waaayyyooooo!!!
The seed first started to germinate in the Room de Jack in the fall of 1989. A group of like-minded individuals, all focused on the pursuit of mass imbibation, petty larceny, and general bad-craziness, came together to form the Most-Sacred and High order of the Phun Bunche.
All upstarts, geniuses, and general roustabouts, they worked to fight the good fight, challenging authority and doing the "Drunken Frog Hop(ribbit)" around the C.Q. Desk whenever appropriate.
To protect ourselves from those who would do us harm, we met at random, shrouding ourselves in the warm glow of loud music and hard alcohol. When it was deemed necessary, we would "Go Walkabout en Masse" and wreak havoc on the world around the stone edifice of the C-16 barracks.
When things got too weird we would retreat off-post to the Casa de Vasquez and be rewarded with a warm parcel of carpeted floor and seemingly inexaustable supplies of grain alcohol.
On occasion we came together to smite our enemies with the Sacred Balls de Paint. None could challenge our patented "Shoot Fast and Run Faster" tactic. Even the MP's couldn't stop us or our defamation of U.S. Army issue fatigues (a necessary evil, given the situation).
From the bent humor of MLK day (if you've seen the video, you know what I'm talking about) to the doomed trips abroad (remember what we had to leave in Costa Brava because we just couldn't handle any more - Spanish jail BAD, air-conditioned bus ride while relaxin' w/robaxin GOOD).
It has been said that some poor fools tried to carry on as the Phun Bunche after we departed for the Land of the Big PX. To these I say YOU WILL DIE, YOU SCUM-SUCKING BASTAGES!!! We will have revenge for your defamation of our name! The Honor of the Bunche will be defended at all costs! Campbell, we're watching you.
There is more to the story, but this will have to suffice for now. Do not worry - all will be revealed in the fullness of time........BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
And always remember:
Jack your ----,
Read a book,
Fall asleep,
Herbsworld!