Mulder: No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we have to find it.

Scully: There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence. If only there were a chicken carcass to autopsy!

Skinner (teeth clenched): Now you listen to me! You have 24 hours to get off your ass and find out why that @($&*@&$ chicken crossed the road!

Well-Manicured Man: It will cross in one of two ways....

Krycek: That double-crosser! The information I have could destroy the chicken forever. If I so much as feel its presence, I'm gonna make it a very, very famous chicken.

Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a long time ago.

Kritschgau: The chicken never crossed the road. It's all a lie, to cover up the biggest lie of all.

Byers: The chicken's not on the database.
Frohike: That's because you scared it off, you dumb narc! Gimme that.
Langly: Shut up, both of you. It obviously crossed the road because it knows my kung-fu is the best.

Jose Chung: Now how on earth can I answer that? None of the stories match up!

The Eves (simultaneously): We were expecting the chicken.

Eddie van Blundht: I can't believe it spends its time crossing the road. The chicken should live a little. God knows I would.

Grown clone-Samantha: You have to kill the chicken! There's a certain point at the base of its neck...

CSM's Samantha: I can't be involved with the chicken. I have my own life now, Fox.

Pusher: Because the sky was just the most calming shade of blue... I believe they call it cerulean blue...

Shipper: The chicken and the road have an undeniable chemistry and so it was fated to cross.

Noromo: I can't understand why you perople can't be satisfied with the chicken walking beside the road. Why does the chicken have to cross the road? Why focus on that? It would ruin the chicken.

Non-X-Phile: WHO CARES!!! It's just a stupid chicken! It's not real. Why are you worring about a chicken, anyway? I just don't see what you see in this whole thing!

Mr. X: You'd better stop asking those questions. You're my tool, do you understand? I come to you when I need you. Right now you're heading in a direction that can lead them right to the chicken.

Clyde Bruckman: I don't know, but I do know it'll get run over on the way back by a two-door 1986 Camaro, which is why it might benefit from some insurance.

Mrs. Paddington(?): Why have you not sacrificed the chicken?

Pendrell: The chicken probably saw Agent Scully on the other side... (sigh). Lucky chicken.

D.P.O.: Dude, I feel like some fried chicken tonight!

Marita: Just give me five minutes and I'll find out...

Cigarette-Smoking Man (blowing puff of smoke): There is no chicken.

Chris Carter: Because the chicken is out there.

© 1998 milesphile@hotmail.com