Categories
Welcome to Tom's Age
Joke page.
    Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be.  They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them.
 
    One evening they were sitting in the parlor and Haley said, "Ben, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and put some chocolate syrup and peanuts on it.  And, Ben, write it down so you don't forget the peanuts."
 
    "That's a good idea, Dear." Ben said, and wrote it on the notepad and headed for the kitchen.
 
    Ben was in the kitchen for a while, and returned with a plate of bacon and eggs.  Haley looked at it and said, "Oh Ben, you forgot the breakfast toast."
 
    Oh, I knew I should have written it down!" Ben replied.
Signs of Fine Age

 * You take a metal detector to the beach.
 * You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
 * If a young girl looks at you, you check to make sure you remembered to put on your pants.
 * You keep repeating yourself.
 * You discover bifocals are stylish!
 * When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out.
 * You discover the words, "whippersnapper", "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
 * You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
 * Most women you know under 40 put you in the "Friend of my Father" class.
 * You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
 * The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
 * You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head.
 * You keep repeating yourself.
 * You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
 * Relatives smile benignly rather than interrupt you as you retell the same story for the zillionth time.
 * You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
 * You send money to PBS.
 * You sing along with the elevator music.
 * Neighbors borrow your tools.
 * You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
 * You are proud of your lawn mower.
 * Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
 * Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
 * Your classmates at your reunion think you're one of their former teachers.
 * Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
 * You keep repeating yourself.
 * Your relatives longingly refer to your things as your "estate".
 * People don't harass you any more when you take an afternoon nap.
 * Your social security number only has three digits.


You're the person to visit this page since 11/9/00.

Click here to go back to my home page.