This is the story of Dreadn…or as I am called now, Draoi. Actually, it is the story of one particular day in Dreadn's life. A fateful day, approximately 1,000 years ago, that changed Dreadn immeasurably …and affected the man he would be…for lifetimes to come.
I am now, as I was then, an Advocate. I related this story to Caerlyn, who rewrote it, and placed it here on her homepage. My hope, like Caerlyn's, is that this story will in some way help other Advocates find insights and answers to the questions in their own lives.
It was a beautiful autumn day. The sun shone high in the sky and would soon begin its downward journey towards the western horizon. I loved this time of year….a time when the days were still warm enough that much could be done outside, but at night you could feel a slight crispness in the air. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the woodsy scent of decaying leaves and recently harvested grain. Soon, the last harvest would be brought in as well, and we would finish our preparations for winter.
I was headed home, having just come from the weekly meeting of the Village Elders, and was feeling fairly satisfied with the outcome. As I walked along, I ran the discussion through my mind again. For some time now, I had been attending their meetings each week, voicing my concerns, as well as those of others in the village about the large number of immigrants that were moving into the region. As a rule, we had always welcomed strangers to our lands….but these people were different. There was much fear and unrest that these outsiders were trying to take control of the clans, and the behavior of the outsiders did nothing to allay those fears. There had been many incidences of late…most involving violence against our people…that made it obvious to us that these people saw themselves as superior. The Village Elders assured me they had been in contact with the leaders of other villages and that, although they did not see the need for alarm, many others had voiced concern over the outsiders as well. The Elders also informed me that a meeting date had been set with the leaders of the newcomers to address this very issue. They felt this meeting would resolve whatever problems we were experiencing and lead to a peace between both parties. The news of this meeting calmed me considerably since I had always been a firm believer in the power of negotiation over violence. I left the meeting feeling more optimistic than I had in a long time.
I took another deep breath, marveling at the beauty of the day. My thoughts turned to home, and to my mate Kiernen. Kiernen and I had been mated for some 3 summers now and the thought of her still made my heart quicken. I smiled. I could picture her so easily, her beautiful auburn hair that shone bright red in the sunlight…and those dark green eyes that twinkled a certain way when she was angry with me. I chuckled to myself and picked up the pace a bit, wanting to get back and tell her the good news. I doubted that Kiernen would be as pleased as I was since she had been very critical of everything the Village Elders had said of late. In fact, we had had a few arguments over that very matter and Kiernen had voiced her suspicions that the Elders would sell us out if the price was right. "Stupid old men" she had called them and had warned me to be wary of their intentions. I was torn between heeding Kiernen's words… she was after all my gray…and believing the promises of those who had governed our village since before I was born….but as I approached the village now, I was sure that I could convince her that everything was going to be fine.
As I made my way up the last hill before the village, I was puzzled by the sound of voices shouting and people screaming coming from that direction. I hurried to the top of the hill and looked down upon the village. I froze in my tracks and for just a moment, stood there motionless, confused by the vision that met my eyes. There were men, dozens of them….some with swords, others with axes or clubs. I recognized some of these people as mercenaries…hired killers were the words that came to mind. Others were dressed much like my own clan….and all were engaged in battle with the people of my village. Everywhere were people being beaten or stabbed and killed. Some of the huts were on fire and thick, dark smoke was filling the sky above the village. Many already lay dead, their eyes wide with surprise. "LIARS!" I screamed and started running down the hill towards the village. So many thoughts raced through my mind in the next few seconds….."Those bastards…they lied to me!"…"Aren't those people from the neighboring village? Why would they be attacking us?"…"I cannot believe they hired mercenaries…..they must have wanted insurance that all would be killed"…."Kiernen was right….I should have listened…." "KIERNEN!!!" My mind froze, just as my feet had done moments before. "Where is Kiernen?", but even as the question was forming in my mind my eyes caught sight of my mate, sword in hand, valiantly holding off 2 of the attackers.
"She always was good with a blade" I mused…and then chastised myself angrily for such a casual thought at a time like this. I pressed on harder now, determined to reach Kiernen and join the battle. About 20 feet behind Kiernen, I noticed 2 men holding a young girl by the arms… a third man standing before her. I recognized her instantly as Sophi, one of our students. A wave of nausea gripped me as I realized what the men were doing. One of the men had ripped Sophi's shirt open and was poking and squeezing her breasts. They were all laughing at Sophi's apparent terror…and I knew they meant to rape her. Sophi was screaming and sobbing and calling Kiernen's name. It suddenly dawned on me that Kiernen was trying to reach her. Blood trickled from the corner of Sophi's mouth and one of her eyes was swollen and blue. "Have they no mercy?" I cried to myself, "She is but a child!" but I knew they did not.
Tears filled my eyes, making it difficult to see clearly. I wiped them away, annoyed at my feelings of helplessness. I was almost to Kiernen now and could see the bodies of many of my clansmen, dead or dying on the ground. There was so much blood…enough to match any battlefield I had ever seen. The thing that struck me the hardest though, was the number of children laying dead amongst those bodies. It seemed to me the invaders had taken out the children first. A strategy, I assumed, to panic and frighten the adults in the village…making it easier to kill them. I shouted to Kiernen, hoping my voice would give her strength.
Despite the number that lay dead, there were still many people fighting…some with weapons…some hand-to-hand. One of the mercenaries was dragging a small child from the hut closest to Kiernen. The child was sobbing and putting up quite a fight. I thought for a second the child might escape because she bit the man hard on the back of his hand and he released his hold on her…but to my horror, the man drew his sword and ran her through. The bile rose in my throat. I was mortified by the ease with which that killer was able to run the child through. I cannot describe the hate that I felt at that moment. In my eyes, these people were no more than barbarians.
I tried to refocus my attention on Kiernen, wanting desperately to erase the vision of that child, but as I shifted my gaze in her direction, an even more repulsive sight met my eyes. Just beyond Kiernen I could still see the men holding Sophi. I could tell the men had beaten Sophi repeatedly by the numerous bruises on her face and arms…but she was no longer crying or screaming. In fact, she was not moving at all. I feared the worst. The men continued on with their sickening game, not seeming to notice…nor care whether Sophi was alive or not. Tears welled up in my eyes as I fought back the urge to vomit. As I continued to watch, one of the men hit Sophi again, growling at her to wake up…but Sophi did not move. The other men laughed at him, apparently amused at his frustration. I saw the humiliation rush into his cheeks, but before I could form another thought, he grabbed his knife and slit Sophi's throat. The others laughed even harder. My body went numb. I closed my eyes and prayed to the Goddess to take this vision from my sight. For just a second, I imagined this was just a bad dream and that soon, I would awaken.
I opened my eyes, knowing this was not a dream. Sophi lay dead now…her lifeless body sprawled on the ground in front of the hut. I think it surprised me at the lack of emotion I felt at that moment. I also noticed my pace had slowed….probably from the shock of Sophi's murder. I looked around slowly, surveying the scene before me. My eyes stopped abruptly as they caught sight of Keirnen, still fighting the two invaders. Oh Goddess…..I had forgotten about Kiernen! She was doing well…having gained some ground towards Sophi. It occurred to me that she must not have realized that Sophi was dead. She was still trying to reach her. I felt a sudden resurgence of energy and pushed onward towards Kiernen. I couldn't have been more than 10 paces from her when a young man….a boy really….ran up to her from behind the hut and stabbed her in the lower back. My mind reeled. Kiernen turned to look at the boy. I saw a look of familiarity….and confusion…form on her face. She started to mouth the word, "Why?" when the mercenary with whom she had been fighting moments before stepped in front of her and drove his sword into her abdomen. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I screamed. Kiernen grabbed at the wound……falling to her knees. I cannot remember exactly what happened after that. I remember a feeling of rage….like nothing else I had ever felt before….something…..almost inhuman…..course through my veins. I vaguely remember the other man…the one with the staff….grabbing Kiernen's sword…and raising it over his head as if to take hers. The next few minutes are gone from my memory. I know I reached Kiernen….and those men. I know that when next I had any notion of reality…I was on my knees beside Kiernen…..and the invaders all lay dead around us.
I reached around Kiernen…and gently turned her over in my arms. My eyes were filled with tears as I looked down into that beautiful face. I could feel her life-force slipping away. The feeling of despair that gripped me now was almost unbearable. Her lips moved slightly…trying to speak. She looked so calm…as if she were just waking from an afternoon nap. A smile formed on her face as she raised her hand and touched my cheek. A tiny voice whispered, "Kiss me my love". I leaned forward…and kissed her lips….drawing her last breath into myself. I felt my own life-force change at that moment. A strange coldness crept into my soul…..and filled me with hate. Hate for all the people who had brought us to this. I held Kiernen to me….swearing vengeance on them all.
I don't know how long I sat there….rocking Kiernen in my arms…but the sun was casting long shadows on the ground when I finally arose. I picked up Kiernen's body and started to walk. I did not stop until I reached the highest hill near our village. Ordinarily, the peak of this hill was accessible only by traversing a dangerous set of ledges. I stood at the top now, no recollection of having climbed those ledges, but still carrying Kiernen. I lay Kiernen's body on the ground in front of me. I felt detached from the world….like I too was no longer a part of the living. I raised my arms to the sky…and from the darkest reaches of my soul called forth every evil thing I had ever known or could imagine. The sky seemed to open….like a great, gaping mouth. I remember wishing it would swallow me….putting an end to my pain. Instead….anything that was good in me….anything that was kind and gentle and loving…..the Dreadn that Kiernen knew…..left me then……and flew through that hole in the sky. I stood there silently as the day's last rays of sunlight touched my face. I understood what I had to do. I understood…Dreadn was gone.
