The Goat Shrine
This page is fondly dedicated to Heidi Geshel, who knows the joys of
living in a goat-infested room and who also gave me the wit and
inspiration to do this page!
GOATS!
Why are Goats so Cool?
Oh, c'mon, just look at them. They're amazing. Not only are they cute,
but what other animal are you going to find that both eats your garbage
and can make its own milk? Exactly. Besides, goats are just cool
by nature. They make great sources of consolation in times of grief,
plus there are many unconfirmed rumors that they also make good sex
counselors too.
The Beard: An Evolutionary Link
Truly, Darwin was on to something. Think about it. Goats have beards.
People have beards. Hmm...could it be we that we and goats have a closer
family bond than we'd previously believed? And if so, why, goats may be
on par with monkeys, dolphins, and white mice in intelligence. Egads! This
practically makes goats family to us!
Fear from the Masses
Yes, that's right, most people just can't handle the power that
goats represent. That's why our society is trying to put them down and
repress the danger that goats hold for the weak-willed's stagnant and
close-minded ways of life. Goats offer us freedom--a new and enlightened
way of life that will help us transcend the mundaneness of the everyday
world and take us to the ultimate level of perfection that we possess within
ourselves. So don't be decieved by claims that goats are only good for
milk and cheese or angora and cashmere. Realize that those beliefs are
only the last-chance efforts of a desperate group of people trying to
pose as a stumbling block to the new order. Only by knowing the truth
can you become free.
How Did I Become Hooked?
Well, I really don't know. This hobby/interest/obssesion of mine has
been going on for a few number of years now, but I can't quite pinpoint
how it started. Mostly I think I saw some goats at a fair and was struck
by how cute they can be. Plus, liking goats isn't quite the same as
liking dolphins or puppies, so the attention/amusement factor I get from
this is worth it. Besides, the quest for finding goat 'things'
isn't easy, so it makes for a fun time. However, the love of goats is a
double-edged sword which isn't always easy to wield. One example was
when I took my niece (who was 3 years old back then) to a petting zoo
which had goats who were
intent on mobbing her and eating her clothing. I 'rescued'
her, and she's recovered quite nicely
since then (thanks to many readings of 'The Three Billy Goats
Gruff'),
but the whole incidence just shows that goats have a dark side
that can be unleashed if their power isn't properly reckoned
with.
My Goats
For those of you that care (and heck, I'm impressed if anyone's actually
read this far!), I have my own collection of goats. Ok, they're not real
live goats, but I think terming them as merely inanimate is harsh, as
these goats definitely have a personality and prescence all their own.
Here they are, in the order I obtained them...
- Inspector Gadget's Goat: Yeah, I realize it's a pathetic
name, but it's the closest he's got. He's just a small, brown plastic
goat and he has an equally small plastic Inspector Gadget figurine riding
him, hence the name.
- The Straw Goat: Another lack-luster name, but again, very
descriptive. The Straw Goat is a self-standing goat made out of straw
who is no more than a foot high. He was given to me by my friend
Anjanette, who obtained him from a store in Florida that bears his name.
- Kimball: Kimball is the "flag-goat" of my
collection. He's a small stuffed white goat (whose picture can be seen
in various parts of my home page) who was given to me by my friend
Stacy. Kimball's been a constant companion and has even survived a trip
to Hell (Michigan) and back.
- Kelsey: Kelsey is a small porcelin ornament of a brown goat
with a carrot in his mouth. I got Kelsey for Christmas from John
Wallace, who was my Secret-Santa at the time. Right now, Kelsey is
perched on my desk guarding my book collection.
- Kalliope: Ok, there's some discrepency that Kalliope might
actually be a llama, but we're not really sure. She's a small (tiny,
even) stuffed red goat with neat designs on her. David got her for me in
the Carribbean, which by the way, is a virtual haven for free-running goats.
- Kassidy: Kassidy is practically Kimball's twin. The only
difference between them is the color of ribbon they wear around their necks
and the shade of brown that their horns are. Kassidy was a gift from
John and Heidi, and she has seen me through many troubled times.
- Gadriel: Gadriel just recently turned a year old! He's a
very
big goat with gray fur and vivid blue eyes. He was purchased at the Ann
Arbor Street Art Fair for me by David, and due to Gadriel's size, hugging
him is almost like hugging a real goat. Of course, I've never actually
hugged a real goat, and I'm guessing that hugging Gadriel is probably a
more enjoyable experience.
- Eep: Eep is the littlest goat ever! He's a little stuffed
goat that you can hold in the palm of your hand. He's all black, with a
little bit of white on him and brown horns. He was purchased at a store
called Generations here in Ann Arbor and enjoyes butting things in his
spare time.
- Goatee: He's SO fun. Goatee is about the size of Kimball and Kassidy, with unkempt brown fur and pretty blue eyes. He has tiny velvet horns and red-checked bandana around his neck. Goatee not only makes a good sleeping companion, he also will eagerly defend you from your enemies.
- Goat: Yup, that's really his name. He's only a little bigger than Eep, with an all gray coat and patch of white on his face. Goat came from Philadelphia, along with his friends: Cow and Pig.
- Rocky: Rocky is a mountain goat. He has long, cream-colored fur and curvy black horns. Like Goatee, he also enjoys butting my enemies. Rocky is a very prestigious goat, for I obtained him at the Smithsonian in Washington, D.C.
- Harry: There's actually speculation that Harry might really be a Bully Goat, rather than a Billy Goat. Though he defintely has the goat characteristics--beard, horns, etc. There's a certain look to him that suggests he might have had a bull for an ancestor. Nonetheless, he's very fun and round, and measures in at about 3 inches high and 2.5 inches wide.
Yes, it seems that goats are finally making it into the media! With the
success of Djali in Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame, it can
only be a matter of time before goats dominate all forms of media and
entertainment. Why, recently I saw a commercial on TNT(?) for some very
bizarre show which featured a goat named Go-Go. Again, I must emphasize
how very bizarre this show looked, and it was on at 6am no less, but with
a goat on it, how bad it can it be? Stay tuned for more Goat Updates...
More Goat Sources...
Yes, they do actually exist, and here are the ones that I recommend:
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Last Updated: July 1, 1998