LANGUAGE OF MEN -- WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY...


"I'M GOING FISHING." Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, pee in the bushes, eat disgusting mystery meat from a can, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety."


"IT'S A GUY THING." Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."


"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"


"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR ..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.


"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN." Means: "I have no idea how it works."


"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that blonde over there is wearing a bra."