So you thought it was OK to mess with me in the chat room!

WRONG, Oh small and insignificant one!

Now you get to experience the wrath of the PRINCESS OF CHAT.

And when she's really ticked ....

BUMMER!!!!!!!!

I could tell you the story of the fool who thought he was exempt from the rules of the Princess, smarted off in the chat room, and referred to my ladyship in a few sexist and derogatory terms.


WELLLLLLL!!!!!


There are reports that he's been seen around, but it seems he doesn't know where he is, or even who he is, and he's singing a really bad soprano and has what appears to be horrible suntan blisters all over his body. Not that it's a big deal, the body was nothing special to begin with.

OK, here's the deal. You make trouble in the chatrooms, and you get it back in spades here,

RIGHT HERE

HELL ON EARTH

CHAT PURGATORY

Now I know most of you are smart enough never to end up here. But just to remind yourselves what you missed, come on down now and again, and see what punishments are doled out to the transgressors. You'll be on your best behavior for ever and ever, guaranteed!

A little change in philosophical course here. At first we had thought that it was more extreme punishment to separate the sexes. It now occurs to me that it would probably be tougher on the males to be sequestered wit the females than without, and since we favour the females, they would have the pleasure of the male companionship for the duration of their visit. We'll monitor the situation to see if it remains viable.

July 11, 1997

By special reprieve and special provisions, RALPH will be released from purgatory today.
Provision 1. He must return to the chatzoo at once and promise to never avoid me again.
Provision 2. He must promise to never (nay, NEVER)) reopen the Swamp (smelly place!)

The following seem to have learned nothing from Ralph's experience, sooooo .......

By decree of the princess of chat, BOBCATT will be incarcerated for a most grievous crime. He has taken advantage of freedom of speech , making rude remarks about " peroxided individuals" and women in general. Airheads, indeed!! Also he had the audacity to bite my hand the last time I whacked him with a newspaper and caused me to lose my temper in a most unladylike manner. This cannot be tolerated.
He has committed other crimes....too many to mention. Incarceration will last for as long as it takes him to request a public appearance in the chatzoo to humbly apologize to one and all.

8/31/97

NOTE: Unfortunately, our friend BOBCAT has stated that he will never apologize humbly or otherwise. Suggestions, anyone?

It pains me most terribly, but STRIDER, who is of unsound mind these days, will be incarcerated alongside BobCatt. Strider has openly expressed unseemly notions of his opinion of women . He has become so chauvinistic that I'm sure there is no cure for him now. We'll try to help him in purgatory ..... for as many days as it takes him to publicly say one nice thing about women in general....and me in particular! Recently Strider has become sulky, rude, crude, downright insulting! This'll teach him!

note:
July 13.1997 ... strider has responded to my announcement of his incarceration with a threat to withdraw from the chatroom activities completely, and worse, threatening that he will use his not insignificant influence to persuade the Willy family to return to plague us with their stupid and unseemly conduct, and to lead our poor weakwilled Jo off on another binge of self-indulgence and impropriety that will make the last seem innocent. Should I surrender to his blackmail or risk the total degradation of poor Jo and the demolition of our way of chatlife as we know it today? Heavy sits the crown when subjects resort to anarchy and selfish, indulgent behavior.
STRIDER'S BLACKMAIL IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. I PUT MY ROYAL FOOT DOWN...(Sorry Jo!) July 15, 1997 (Royal decision)

There is a third one, too. As soon as I can remember who called us "airheaded blonde bimbos"!

ZEB should be warned that he is on the endangered list as well. He's walking on very thin ice!! We'll be watching him, very closely.

WONDER will be granted an early release today for good behavior, on her part as well as Jo's.

8/31/97 ZEB is no longer on the endangered list. His behavior has been ememplary. In fact he rarely makes an appearance anymore; perhaps this will help. ALL IS FORGIVEN....PLEASE COME HOME!

However much it pains me to now incarcerate TRAVELLER, my very good friend, it must be done today! She has become argumentive, derogatory, as well as slightly deranged when talking to me! She needs to be reminded that proper chatzoo etiquette demands that ALL (even friends) bow to the princess!!! She must learn not to disagree with me.

Haven't yet decided on the length of her stay in the hot place. THESE DECREES WILL BE CARRIED OUT AT ONCE!
by order of
JAYE
Princess of Chat

8/31/97 UPDATE:Traveller refuses to cooperate..her choice is to stay in purgatory until it freezes over! What can I do?

THE FIRST DAYS OF PURGATORY

Now, just to show you that I'm not kidding about this I will incarcerate one member of the male persuasion. After long and sober thought, I have determined that the male person who has ticked me off most sorely is "RALPH", he of the soft, sweet ways, always dragging women off for his personal pleasure. Well, he has been avoiding me, so I know he's done something wrong, again. He will spend the next 7 days sweltering, nay, sweating like a pig, and fearing for his wellbeing. Perhaps he will learn proper chatroom decorum, but certainly others will learn from his suffering.

THE LADIES'FIRST DAYS Now it hardly seems fair to send only a man, although it does my heart good. In the interests of fair play and equality we will consign one female to Purgatory as well. Again, a very simple choice. One female stands out head and shoulders over the rest as a prime troublemaker.

I probably don't even have to name her. You all know who she is. "JO", she of the fresh baked goodies luring our men off to her little island retreat. Well, let's see how she likes baking when she's in the oven with the bread. HAH. Smart little trollop that she is. Let her bake her way out of this one. Only 4 days for her. She's a female, after all.REPRIEVEBy order of Jaye, Princess of Chat, the prisoner Jo is hereby released on probation. In her place the female citizen, Wonder, has volunteered to be incarcerated for a term not to exceed 7 days subject to being extended should the parolee, Jo, not abide by the conditions of her release. As for reason for sentencing: Guilty of being blond, and argumentative. Nuff said.

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