We, the Children of the Thug Immortal have uncovered the truth about the pilot Amelia Earheart.
One Internet newsources says that quote "It's been 61 years since Amelia Earhart disappeared somewhere over the Pacific, and the mystery is still maddeningly unsolved. Now, researchers at the International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery say that the pioneering aviator may have died on a remote Pacific island. "
We know the truth.
She is alive and well, and kicking it on the Grey's planet with our Immortal Bigga Nigga, The Notorious B.I.G.
It appears that her plane was in fact a flying time machine that the US was using as an experiment. Sources within the CIA and the Yilamharian intelligence community tell us that the U.S. were using Amelia's flying capability to test whether or not it was possible for a human to travel at light speed. But the experiments created a wormhole that landed her in another part of the galaxy---on planet Yilamhar, and in another time period: ours.
It seems that the Greys had no idea who this lady was who claimed to be from another time period on another planet. They asked Tupac to help identify her after they found her unconscious after a crash landing.
"So they came up in my crib, right" said the Thug Immortal, "when I was hittin' skins with my Royal Thug, Diana right, and I was like, hold up! What the fuck y'all doing bustin' up in a nigga crib while he gettin' his swirve on and shit. So they chilled out and told me they needed me to identify some white bitch. I was like hold up, the only white girl I know is layin' right here beside me and shit, so what I got to do with it? Di said that I should go help out, that it must be important, so I got dressed and shit, and went to the place with them. I looked at her ass and I didn't know who she was. But when I saw her fucked up looking plane, I said Yo! You that Amelia Ear-bitch that was flying around the world back in the day when they wasn't lettin' niggaz become pilots, right? Shit, girl, what the hell you doing here, ain't you dead?. So the Greys started talking all that space time shit, and I said oh, here y'all go again, fuckin' with celebreties lives. I asked them yo, is yall gonna let this bitch go, because if she been gone all this long, ain't nobody missing her ass on Earth. Least not no black people anyways."
Tupac then went on to say that Amelia began to panic when she realized her situation. She fainted several times, first at the sight of the Greys, and then at the sight of Tupac because she'd never seen an African-American human male who wasn't carrying her suitcase or holding a door open for her. According to the Thug Immortal, "she was still on some of that 'yaw-suh boss' shit from back in the day, you know, for a while there, acting like I was the motherfuckin' butler. But Shanikwa got a hold of her ass and set her straight real quick. We let her stay up in our crib for a while. She was all set to leave after a few days. She started running up my phone bill, calling the Greys, and trying to call back to Earth so that her ass could go home. The Greys gave her ass immortality too, just like they did for me, Biggie, Shanikwa, and Di, so I was wondering what the hell she was for, youknowwhatI'msayin!"
It seems that the culture shock of real life Grey aliens, a sister with Borg implants, a brotherman who wasn't her servant, and a British royal who shared her black lover with a black cyborg that had a nice ass were too much for Ms. Earheart to handle.
All of that changed when she met B.I.G.. She is in no rush to return to Earth or her own time.
"I'd never seen anyone as powerful as Biggie" said Earheart. "He was so big and strong looking, a real Moorish warrior, you know? All I could think about was going back home, to my world, but after seeing him, I had every reason to stay. And when I heard the deep jungle rhythms of his rap music, I felt as if I'd died and gone to heaven." She then started hanging out with some of the Teletubbies and the Griggaz (i.e., grey alien "niggaz") and became a huge fan of Hip Hop and of Biggie Smalls in particular. "I started wearing some of the grigga fashion, got my hair braided and even learned how to dance. Let me tell you, this is a lot different than Swing, or the Waltz, but it was something I KNEW I HAD to get into." Amelia had even decided to change her name. "I tell everyone I know to address me as 'Mee-Mee' now!"
According to Biggie, he met "Mee-Mee" Earheart outside of Club Uh-Oh after our story on Tinky Winky speaking out against Falwell. "First I thought I was seeing things. I saw this white girl rolling up in here with braids and everything and dancing like some shit out of the 1930's. But then, it was like she remembered where she was and started dancing like a sister. She was kinda phat, you know, but I still wasn't sweatin her too hard. Then, she started coming to all my shows all the time and talking to me a little bit here and there. The next thing you know she told me she heard about my little space nigga, Gurbul, the alien shorty I spend time with even though he ain't mine. She bought me a pair of baby alien Reeboks to give to his little ass. I thought that was alright, you know, so I gave her a little props and shit, showed her some love. So we started hangin out and e'ry thing. One thing led to another, and now I'm kickin it with Mee-Mee on a full time basis."
I asked Mee-Mee if she thought that her relationship with Biggie could survive if they returned to her time period on Earth. "Oh heavens no," she said, "we could never survive back then. Colored people were treated so poorly, and Biggie would not be able to put up with what negros went through back then. And besides, I know I couldn't even survive back then any more. Women didn't exactly have it too easy either. I wouldn't even be able to walk down the street with Biggie on Earth then, let alone walk around with my new braids and dashikis. Times have changed, people have changed, and I have changed. This may be an alien world, but it is my world now. And as long as Biggie is here, I am happy."
"Besides," added Biggie, "if one of them 1930's motherfuckers called me 'Boy' or asked B.I.G to shine they shoes or some shit, I'd have to bust a cap in they ass!" I tried to explain to Biggie that times were different back then, but he assaulted me and threw me out of his house face first. In fact, this entire article was written with one hand in a cast. I've been trying to maintain an objective and coherent writing style through a cloud of pain killers and morphine I am taking due to the severe ass-whipping I suffered at the hands of Biggie.
Man, I tell you. These alien pain killers are some good shit. Gives you a nice little buzz. Hey, I feel so good taking this stuff that I'm starting to think that I was abducted by aliens!
LONG LIVE TUPAC!!! LONG LIVE BIGGIE!!!!!! MUCH LOVE TO HIP-HOP HEADS ACROSS OUR GALAXY!!!!
PEACE!!!!!!!!!
The Drugged Thugminister