I was trolling the bookshelves at Border's recently and to my disgust, discovered four whole shelves of health food diets, fad diets, magic diets and mystery diets. As an Old Schooler, I have always believed that to lose weight, you must simply burn more calories that you consume. There are no magic pills and until you believe that, I mean really believe that, you will bounce from fad diet to fad diet only to yo-yo up and down the scale. It's really very simple. Suppose you burn an average of 2000 calories a day. If your daily intake is 2000 calories you will maintain your weight. If you consume 3000 calories you will gain weight. If you consume 1500 calories you will lose weight. Simple. It is important to note that if you must consume 3000 calories, you must burn 3000 calories to maintain your present weight. Burn-More-Than-You-Consume can be rewritten Consume-Less-Than-You-Burn; either way you lose weight. To help illustrate the folly of the fad diet and the simplicity of the physiological Burn-More-Than-You-Consume reality of weight loss, I have penned Vince's No Magic Diet. This diet plan is presently free for all to adopt, but if I see a lot of hits on this page, I may have to think about selling it to Border's and get my place on the bookshelf.
A word about carbohydrates. The recent Best Seller List success of books like The Adkins Diet and The South Beach Diet have fueled a notion that carbohydrates are somehow bad for us. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, carbohydrates are an important part of any responsible diet and the absence of carbohydrates can have serious ill effects. Now that said, almost anything in excess can be a bad thing. Eat nothing but Doritos and you'll get fat. Our society's shift from the meat and potatoes 1950s to the supersize fries of the 1990s saw a dramatic rise in the occurance of diabetes. The no-fat fad diets of the late 1990s helped push Americans toward their heaviest year in history. The Burn-More-Than-You-Consume rule doesn't change for you low carb types, if you eat 3000 calories worth of cheese and bacon, you will still gain weight. The carbohydate thing is all in your head: eat a lot of sugar and you'll be hungry as soon as the rush wears off. Eat an equal number of calories worth of complex carbohydrates like apples and you'll sustain your energy level longer and avoid the peaks and valleys. That's smart eating, but it doesn't get around the Burn-More-Than-You-Consume rule.
Vince's No Magic Diet is structured in a weekly format. Since I am bound by routine, I can eat the same thing week after week. You will need to do the same if you are to have success on my No Magic Diet. I'm big on karma and the like so my diet starts with the weekend. Good luck.
| Saturday | Saturday is Golf Day, so a light breakfast is allowed. Nothing more than one Breakfast Burrito or equivalent though. Lunch is skipped in anticipation of a big dinner; just drink plenty of water. Saturday is also Date Night, so go ahead and indulge. Additionally, one small bag of Jelly Bellys may be consummed during the late evening. |
| Sunday | Just coffee for breakfast. Wait until mid-afternoon to eat lunch. Ice cream may be indicated if it's Summer. Make it count since this will be the last meal of the day. Nothing shall be eaten after 7:00 pm. |
| Monday | Things really get dull during the week. Coffee for breakfast. Any combination of 400 calories for lunch. No snacks during the day. Dinner is the amount of cereal that can be eaten with two bowlfulls of milk. Make sure to eat before 7:00 because that's the deadline. |
| Tuesday | Coffee for breakfast. Two Taco Bell Bean Burritos for lunch. Drink at least 72 ounces of fluid to avoid dehydration. Tuesday is the one day of the week that breaks the 7:00 Rule: one Taco Bell Bean Burrito may be consummed for dinner at any time up until bed time. |
| Wednesday | Coffee for breakfast. Any combination of 400 calories for lunch. No snacks during the day. Wednesday is Barbecue Night, but no more than one pork chop, chicken breast or hamburger, and only vegetables as sides. Chips and sweets are not permitted. |
| Thursday | Coffee for breakfast. Any combination of 400 calories for lunch. No snacks during the day. Dinner is the amount of cereal that can be eaten with two bowlfulls of milk. Make sure to eat before 7:00 because that's the deadline. |
| Friday | Coffee for breakfast. Any combination of 400 calories for lunch. No snacks during the day. The weekend is here and some celebration is okay. One plate of nachos accompanied by lots of water may be enjoyed for dinner. |
My No Magic Diet comes with no guarantees, but I would bet that if you follow it to the letter, your pants will fit better within four weeks. Stick with it and you'll be back where you were a decade ago. Thanks for "listening."
Thanks Mayor Coleman
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