The MOAN ZONE!!
You may ask why this page is called the Moan Zone. Well as everyone who knows
me will tell you, I make Victor Meldrew look like an amateur when it comes
to complaining! I enjoy it, there's nothing better than a good long moan.
So I have included some moans you may or may not agree with, if you don't
then frankly I don't give a toss!
Don't you just hate...
Star Trek
It used to be fun to watch, "AAARRGGGGHHHH, look out, there's a Klingon, let's
kill him!". Now it's, "Oh No! There's a big Borg trying to Assimilate us, let's
make friends!". Okay, The Next Generation is not too bad, but I'd rather not
have a science lesson. The others ones, Deep Space 9 (or as I like to call it
Deep Sleep 9) and Voyager are so dull it's unbeliveable. Do we want to be
educated in Quantum theory or do we want to be entertained? Duh! Can't
work that one out can you Paramount.
The Tories (and politicians in general)
I hate the Conservative government with a passion. They lie, cheat, rob from
the poor and give to the rich (like an Anti-Robin Hood). They need kicking
out, and fast. When they are on TV and say what good they're going to do
for the country they're thinking to themselves "Yes, you little people all
vote for us and we'll totally run you into the ground, silly little b*st*rds
ha ha ha!!!".
What also annoys me is the way they're saying something serious and they'll
suddenly start grinning like cheshire cats (obviously they're thinking how
they're going to ruin us). I must point out here that all politicians do this.
DEATH TO POLITICIANS!!!!.
Mr grey person himself, with no top
lip! Perhaps I should have an animated gif here where Jonny gets squashed
by a jaggernaut.... MMMmmmmmm...
Flatmates from hell
In the first year of university I had the misfortune of living with a student
who always had his girlfriend round. They shagged in the morning, at lunchtime, when we got back from university and at night. His girlfriend was a screamer,
to say she was loud was an understatement. The walls banged, the doors banged
and their bed banged. He really was a flatmate from hell.
Once, after an Easter break, I arrived back in the flat to find two beef
steaks on the kitchen table in the flat. Nothing strange about that you
might think, except they had been there 3 weeks and were moving across the
table!!! There were maggots everywhere, all over the table, all over the
kitchen floor and in the hall as well. It was a revolting sight! Andy
said it might have been him that left the meat there, in other words it was!!
American Comedy
You've all seen it, Roseanne, Friends, Seinfield (AARGGHH kill him!). They're
cheap, they're not funny and they're invading our TV screens. Why can't we
have more comedy like Bottom, Blackadder, Steptoe & Son? They're funny,
they're entertaining and they're British! Now I must point out that I have
nothing against Americans, but it really annoys me when I see their cheap
tacky comedy on our TV stations. You can tell all the laughter is canned and
it sounds like the audience have been told to laugh anyway. Please if you're
listening Channel 4 because you're the worst offender, put something funny
on for a change.
cm4bcans@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk
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