Original From Brower

If you don't know who Mr. Brower is he is the Band teacher at Grandville High School in Grand Rapids, MI. He has lot's of pointless sayings he uses in band.

"I heard so many wrong notes, I had to stop right away!"
"Drums stop playing! Like little kids in a toy store!"
"Bass drum it's gotta happen!"
"It's like you're having a conversation with yourself in a...you don't even know where you are!"
"I may not get you today percussion, but first thing tomorrow...I'll get ya!"
"I never know what's gonna happen, that's why I love my job! That's the beauty of it!"
"I love it!...That's beautiful but it's not written."
"It's like a roadrunner spinning his wheels before he goes!"
"What are we playing on, back there? Somebody's head?"
"No! I'm not deaf!"
"Tubas, you are doing everything right but playing the horn."
"Chad, it would work but you aren't playing it right!"
"It's hard because it's so easy!"
"It's like there's a wall in here--and it's in front of you!"
"No wonder you guys were laughing. I would laugh too."
"That's no GOOD!"
"I know I'm right when I get a smile out of you drummers."
"Sounds like you guys are throwing up in your horns! Literally!"
"That was so ugly it could scare a moose!"
"It's going to sound like someone is hemorrhaging up here!"
"Before I throw up...let's go!"
"That's why I don't work in a factory!"
"You're not playin' is what I'm sayin'!"
"Isn't that sweet?"
"Stop talking before I have to start doing this...detention crap!"
"You guys sound like a cuckoo clock!"
"It's like you squeeze...but nothing comes out! It's like...eeee!"
"I can't go on!"
"Squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal!"
"What the heck?"
"Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba..."
"You're like working with drywall!"
"Ever hear a radio station that's not on a station? That's what you sound like...fuzzy!"
"Tubas that happened because you didn't listen to me! Say...beginning! Beginning! My lips move when I talk, but it's a Spanish station to you!"
"You're making me pay attention to the percussion. I've never had to...maybe it's good for me!"
"That's so nice!" (sarcastic)
"Ha ha! Goofy and his pals!"
"You have to be like a fifty pound mosquito! Not one without a wing! Come on, sting it!"
"This is like pulling teeth!"
"Trumpets, you're the only ones practicing your own mistakes!"
"Get some air behind it so you don't keep burping in my face!"
"That's a diarrhea of notes!"
"I always gotta get a laugh out of Neilsen. If I don't, I consider my job stupid."
"It's like a sandwich. Too much mustard, it's no good. Too little mustard, it's no good."
"This was an abomination."
"Ragtag! Ragtag woodwinds!"
"You sure aren't getting nasty enough. You sound like you're excusing yourself."
"It sounds pretty good since you don't know what you're doing."
"I want you to come in with a nasty disposition...6 before 91."
"All right, Francis...Francis the mule."
"Why can't I see? Oh, my glasses."
"Go sit down, drums. This is going to take at least twenty minutes."
"Bass clarinets, you just absolutely scare the life out of me."
"Eric, it sounds like you're throwing a stick at the timp!"
"If you don't take a breath there, it will sound like a gobbi of mess!"
"That sounds like immaturity."
"You think, oh, Joe Blow will play it for me!"
"Drums, you're discombobulated all the way through here!"
"That was wicked!"
"Don't do what I say, do what I want you to do!"
"It's just an exercise in the futility of counting."
"I don't know if somebody's pulling on your pants or what back there, Eric!"
"I've never seen anything like that! That's just like an art form!"
"Look at it--they're still moving!"
"It does look like you're walking over landmines!"
"It's like bumper cars out there band!"

Home