Crystal was born in November, 1994.
An acquaintance of a co-worker was looking for a home for their one-year-old German Shephard.  Before I could ask why, the guy was at my house dropping her off...
What about training?  "Oh yeah, I paid $1500 for police obedience training"
What are the commands?  "Get offa there!", "Get over here!", and so forth.  You get the picture.
Do you think you wasted $1500?  no comment.
She's purebred?  "Oh yeah sure"
What about papers?  "Uhhh, hmmmm, yeah I'll get those to you"  (I knew better)
What about shot records?  "Uh, yeah those too" (I knew better)
Whay do you feed her?  "Gravy train" ...as he backed across the lawn towards his van
OK get outta here.  I figure even if she doesn't work out, I can do a better job of care and feeding until a real foster parent is found. As you might have guessed, we kept her to ourselves.

Crystal is the most beautiful Shephard in the world (at least she thinks she is).

Crystal's Mortal Enemies:

• The evil squirrel gangs
• The invading mailman
• The UPS man (incarnation of the anti-dog)

A moment of silence for Crystal's victims:

• Dave the Opossum - group effort by Duff and Crystal (terrified but otherwise unharmed)
• Bob the Squirrel
• Stevie the Squirrel
• Rocko the Squirrel
• 8 low voltage lights
• Bag of miracle grow (no miracles yet)
• 1,283 Kleenexes