START THE CLOCK, YOU IDIOT!
OK, this all started when I was running the clock at a youth ice hockey game in Maryland,
and I thought it would be cool to take note of some of the incredibly FUNNY, and often DUMB
things that parents yell during their kids' hockey games!
You know. You hear these bozos yelling this stuff at their own team's players, at the officials, at the coaches, at the OTHER parents. You have probably heard some similar dumb and amusing things yelled at PRO hockey games too...
OK, I GOOFED, because I got distracted and didn't start the time clock and we had to subtract 3
seconds - big deal, but here was this middle-class suburbanite woman, calling me "IDIOT" in
front of everyone. I HAD to LAUGH!! What a BOZO-ETTE!!
So here they are, a few samples. We'll add some more, and YOU can contribute by sending in your favorites! Just click below and e-mail them in and I will add them, HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!!!
START THE CLOCK, YOU IDIOT!
STOP THE CLOCK, YOU IDIOT!
ICE IT!! /SHOOT!! (yelled simultaneously by two parents for the SAME team!
GET THAT GUY!
GO, GO, GO!
Bear Down, Amy, Bear Down (to an eight year old female player from coach)
Grip It & Rip It, Sweetie!!!
HUSTLE, JIMMY!
IT'S NOT TOO LATE!
PUT IT ON THE BOARD...ADD 'EM UP!
NICE TRY!
NOW, LET'S GET 'EM!
YOU'RE TOUGHER THAN THEY ARE, NOW GO GET IT!
GET THE PUCK!
WATCH THE SHOT, WATCH THE SHOT!
PRESS 'EM, PRESS 'EM!
FOLLOW IT UP!
GET IN THERE!
PASS AND SHOOT!
C'MON, FULL TILT: LET'S GO!
BE MORE AGGRESIVE, TREVOR!
STAY WITH IT!
SCORE!
PICK IT UP!
STEP UP!
TREVOR! NEED A GOAL!
DON'T GIVE IT BACK TO 'EM!
GO TO IT!
NICE JOB, JOHN!
DUMP IT!
CUT 'EM OFF!
C'MON GUYS!
(after a home team goal:)YOU GOT BUSTED!
(to opponents:)NICE HOOK, *TWO!*
SKATE!
Go Danny, POWER PLAY Danny!!!
GO THE OTHER WAY!!
COME ON CHARLES, ON YOUR TOES!!
GET IT UP IN THE AIR!!
Freeze it up!
Watch the picker!
Gotta hustle!
Tie 'em up!
C'mon, MOVE IT Gonzaga; Seven-thirty GAME!!
More to come!
HERE'S SOME NEW ONES FROM P.A. Brewer in SHEFFIELD, England:
(Email: PMA96PAB@sheffield.ac.uk )
Subject: another dumb thing they yell
My brother once said, after an offside call, "did you see that, we played the offside trap brilliantly"
And from: Monte Porche ( Email: monte@communique.net )
'If that ref had another eye, he'd be a cyclops.'
One more thing I forgot...
Ok...granted hockey is very new to most of the people in New Orleans, but I overheard a fan say something that defies description.
This was during our second home game. The woman leaned over to her husband and said, "You know, at some of the professional arenas, they have a puck that glows a bright blue color so that you can see it better. And, when they shoot, it turns red."
(obviously, this woman was talking about the FoxTraxx puck that the Fox network uses for TV, but I thought it was hilarious).
AND:
After our fan favorite Jason Downey (aka Hootie) was put in the penalty box, while the refs were talking with the off-ice officials, someone hollered...."FREE HOOTIE!!" it started a viscious chant....Made Attica look like a pep-rally.
Dare I add this one? (grin!)
From EP Buzzard ( Email: overtex@flash.net )
Overheard at a game:
Woman: What's the score?
(someone says the score)
Woman: Ok. Who's playing?
And from: Tom Brink ( Email: chaos@cbtek.com )
Hey Bry,
How's it going? I've got a few choice gems for you, as I am also the designated clock person on our team......
1) "Hey Ref, you're missing a hell of a game out there!" (coach to Ref)
2) "Bump and grind Bubba! BUMP & GRIND!" (mother to child) (She must be a retired stripper - Bry)
3) It's alright
4) Stupid, stupid, stupid (parent to child after getting beat for a goal)
5) Hey Ref, did Santa forget to bring you a rule book for Christmas? (coach to Ref)
6) and my all time favorite..... the pre-game cheer for a
team...Who's gonna win? WE ARE, Who's gonna lose? THEY ARE, How
we gonna do it? SHOOT, PASS, KICK THEIR ASS
(ROTFLVVL - Bry)
Stay warm
Yours in humor,
Tom Brink, Schedule Manager Monroe County Eagles PeeWee Tier 2
Wait though... there's more!
On 28 Jan 98 at 17:15, ANONYMOUS
Where's your seeing eye dog, Ref?
Look, Pass Fast
That kid can really fast skate. (one Tyke mom to another)
Coach to College hockey player after a real bad game...'Here's twenty
bucks, get the next bus outta town.'
BODY...FINISH!
Coach to goalie...You're not Michael Jackson, Use your glove!
Finish your checks or put a dress on.
Where's your pumps?
After the Jim Shoenfeld/Don Koharski incident a few years ago I
got it from the stands. "Have another donut you fat pig"
Another one about refs "You are losing total control of this
game" I have never had total control of any hockey game.
tuck@ios.bc.ca
And from Thomas A. McKinney (mckinney@webspan.net)
We have a father who continually yells to his son "Take the puck
with you, you might need it!"
From: kirk brown (tcupcake@bellsouth.net)
-From an ex-Canadian and long time NHL wannabe. Ron.
To the Ref:
(After a goal): THEY WERE OFFSIDE BY THREE FEET!
(After a goal): ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME GAME HERE??
(After a goal): HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ***WHO'S *** GETTING POINTS OUT THERE!!!
(Yelled when NOTHING has happened): PENALTY SHOT!!
(After a LEGAL check): WHAT'S *THAT* ?
AFTER THE WHISTLE!
YOU NEED SOME BETTER GLASSES!
HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT?
Get a Rule Book!
New Rule!
That's icing!
To the ref at an away game for our team: NICE CALL !!!! HOMER!
By a player after he was in a bad fight: "Coach, am I done?"
And from BRUCE TUCK in Sidney, B.C. we have these:
a.k.a. macky003@webspan.net
More to be added!
Subject: What a ref hears in the South!
"Hey Ref! Are you pregnant? You've missed two periods so far!"
since 2 September, 1996
* E-mail Bry *
"I WANNA DRIVE THE ZAMBONI!
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