See all those wires going in our front apartment entrance? The concept that "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" has set in, as it appears that the people across the street have electrical power a little more often than we do on OUR side of the street. So, folks who live in our buliding have run these tiny little extension cords out the front of the building and across the street, where they find a live wire somewhere to tap into. "But" you say, "Don't the power company people object and take down the extra wires?" When asked recently, a local professional electrician stated "We don't touch those wires- that could be dangerous". As Highly Technical People, of course, we pilots would NEVER run little wires over the street to "borrow" from our neighbor's electrical sources. That would be rediculous. Ours are great BIG wires, and we hooked OURS to an electrical conduit that runs UNDER the street for all-weather protection and reliability!!
This is a "typical" wall switch with
wires, added sometime during or before Nixon's final term in office.
Yes, those are bare wires. Yes, we use the circuit breaker as the
on-off switch. No, there are no covers over the terminals.
Luckily, this installation is high enough up the wall that small children
cannot touch the wires accidentally. For an adult a convenient (and
well grounded) step ladder is sufficient to reach the switches.
Incidentally, I was warned by my
predecessor in the program to never empty my clothes from the washing machine
in my bare feet. He said "the washer will find a good grounding point
through the wet clothing, through your hand, up your arm, down and out
your leg, which might make sparks come out between your toes". Well
. . . I certainly am not interested in "Pedal Pyrotechnics" so I
always wear my rubber soled Running Shoes when I do my laundry. I
refer to this as "An Ounce of Prevention" or "Safe Laundering Practices
my Mother Never Told Me About" indeed!
n Now I would like to present our third runner up in the worst wiring contest. This installation is, in fact, the main power buss for the entire apartment complex. Third place was the best we could award, however, because this installation is functional, which causes a loss of points in our grading system.
Here is our second place winner. This installation clearly demonstrates some real artistic creativity, particularly in the aspect that no person, (other than the electrician who created this work of art) will EVER be able to figure out which wire goes where and does what. This was obviously the work of an electrician representing the impressionistic genre. Unfortunately, this installation did not qualify for first place because of excessive use of insulating tape (which safely prevents electric shocks) and his unfortunate inclusion of a LIGHTBULB to increase safety when switching phases at night (see comments on Phases above). None the less, this was an excellent effort, and we salute the artist responsible.
And NOW (drum roll, please) I would like to introduce our first place contestant. This is a work of art, which includes all of the major elements of a well developed electrical nightmare. Note the inclusion of the large Russian voltmeter on the right. Liberal use of bare wire connections- no insulating tape in sight! This installation also includes a light bulb, and we were almost taken in by the deception. This grand prize winning electrical installation does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! The light bulb is operated through a little wire that runs across the street, giving the impression of an operational installation that might actually (occasionally) provide power to this apartment. In fact, nothing electrical has operated in this apartment since, well, uh, hmmm, -- we aren't sure.
Congratulations to each of our highly
skilled contestants, and we look forward to the plumbing competition that
will surely follow!
PS... In an attempt to grasp the skills
necessary to produce electrical works of art such as those represented
earlier on this page, I attempted to create my own masterpiece. Although
a valient effort, it is easy to see that I have "a long way to go" . .
. .. . . .