Stupid Thoughts and questions (by me)
Who was the first guy to milk a cow? Did he just think "I'm gonna squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out!"?
Why not make the whole airplane out of the same stuff as the indestuctable black box?
If the shoe fits, find the other one
If vegetable oil is made from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?
Why do girls wear a pair of underwear but only one bra?
Do boxer shorts fight in the drawer?
If buttered toast always seems to land butter side down, and cats always seem to land on their feet, what happens of you strap a piece buttered toast to a cat's back then throw it off the roof?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why does 'X' stand for a kiss?
Why does 'O' stand for a hug?
Why is it called football when you don't use your feet that much?
Can your face really freeze if you make ugly faces?
How does one actually 'zip thier lips'?
If you eat your peas will a kid in South America stop starving?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Da plane, boss, da plane!
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Do you need a silencer to shoot a mime?
Why is a pear called a pear if there is only one?
Why do we have hot-water heaters if you don't need to heat hot water?
Why do you park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?
When are they going to make up some new Christmas songs?
If the bouncer gets drunk, does anyone throw him out?
What do they pack styrofoam in?
Is the grass really greener on the other side? If it is, so what?
Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?
What if we lived in a world without hypothetical situations?
How does the snowplow guy get to work?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do they sell cigarettes in gas stations if smoking is prohibited there?
Shouldn't there be parachutes under airline seats instead of floatation things?
If a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?
If you are driving at the speed of light, and turn on the headlights, what happens?
You know how packages say 'Open Here'? What should you do if it says 'Open Elsewhere'?
Why is it when you move something by boat it is called 'cargo' but by car it is called a 'shipment'?
Why is an orange an orange and an apple not a red?
If an elevator is illegally overloaded with passengers, who is criminally responsible?
What does Geronimo say if he jumps out of a plane?
Why is there a permanent press setting on an iron if it never works?
Why do Corn Flakes and Frosted Flakes have the same number of calories?
Why are US elections always on Tuesdays?
Why do women wear such uncomfortable shoes?
Exactly what fruits are in Jucy Fruit gum?
Why can't I find fresh sardines in a fish market?
Why aren't there seat belts on buses?
If trailer parks didn't exist, would tornadoes exist?
Why do we itch?
How was the order of the alphabet determined?
Do penguins ever get frostbite?
How the hell does Kraft get five ounces of milk into a slice of cheese if each slice is only one ounce?
Why don't we get goosebumps on our faces?
What's the purpose of the little ball on top of the flagpole?
Why do donuts have holes?
Why do banannas grow upward and all other fruits grow downward?
Is 'downward' even a word?
Why do men's bicycles have crossbars?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than young ones?
Why are toilet flush handles always on the left?
Why does soda taste better out of a small bottle than a large bottle or can?
Why do fire houses have dalmations?
Why does unscented hairspray smell?
Can't they make smudgless newspaper?
Why is there only one shoe lying at the side of the road?
Why are there so few red popsicles in the box?
Why is yawning contageous?
Who decides if a word is a 'swear word'.
Why are movie theatres so cold?
Where does that one missing sock in the dryer go?
Why is a black light not black?
Do gorillas really understand sign language?
Who killed JFK?
Who killed the guy that killed JFK?
How does that damn chesire cat disappear?
Why don't we get busy from the sun spinning so fast?
Why is it called a Ceaser's Salad? Did he invent it?
Who took the bite out of the "Apple" logo?
How and why did everyone's grandpa walk 32 miles to school naked uphill both ways in five feet of snow? If I was him I woulda said "Screw that! I'm takin' a bus!"
If you can't beat them, pay somebody to beat them.
Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bed post overnight? **I tried this and grape Bubble Yum has been wrapped around my bedpost since first grade**
Why does fat chance mean the same thing as slim chance?
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
If you mail a letter to the post office, who delivers it?
When the goin gets tough, I go home.
I wish there was at least one perfectly round state.
If you buy checks through the mail, and use the last one before you order more, can you pay for new ones?
If it ain't broke, break it.
My phone number is 14, I got one of the early ones.
Why do other people hear our voices differently than we do?
Why does the minute hand on the school clocks click backwards before it goes forwards?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootse pop?
There are really only two places in the world: here and there.
When I see someone running for excercise, they are never smiling.
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