Flea BathWe sent our intrepid investigator finder-outer-of-stuff-man Charles Pilkington-Glass to find out what the hell is going on in the evil kill land where government scientists play with death and more. They sent him away. We sent him back disguised as an office cleaner. They beat him up. Apparently they do that to cleaners there. So instead we forged his signature and filled in a form offering his body for their so-called science- against his will. We were horrified by what he found out, and so will YOU be. Before they performed an illegal dichotomy upon him he managed to obtain this film. What it clearly shows is hundreds of fleas messing about in a bowl of water. They're all high boarding into the water and bombing around in mini speedboats like rabid pox beavers. Innocent you say. Well, bollocks to you.
Later on we analysed the film under a so-called 'electron microscope' and found it be… well film. Luckily we found a live flea in his shattered mental hair and analysed that instead. We were amazed by what we found. Little viruses were riding on the back of the fleas. Up to twenty of the little bastards with reins to control their steeds. Pilkington-Glass never recovered from his dichotomy. He later divorced himself and went to live in two equal but opposing parts.
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