Walter's Wenches In Waiting
(W.W.I.W.)
Excerpt from the best selling Porn Again Classic
by Bard
Connie gazed at the pathetic, unconscious forms of various wenches scattered
akimbo on the office floor as she coolly blew the smoke away from the muzzle
of the semi-automatic Phizer Tranquidart Dispenzer 9000 she'd stashed away
for this kind of situation.
Walter had flattened himself up against the wall opposite her, his spent
Smith and Wesson dangling from long limp fingers. Connie sauntered towards
him, a feral smile teasing the edges of her moist, silky lips. She stopped a
few feet away and ripped open her tasteful J.C. Penney blouse to reveal not
only a high quality vest imprinted faintly by bullets, but a heaving bosom
more rather reminicent of two plump piglets playing a rousing game of
twister under a thin chemise.
Walter cleared his throat rather ineffectually. "Oh, er... hello, Agent
Delphi, ah... working late tonight?"
"You seem to be going through far more briefs than I. Sir."
Walter had the grace to blush slightly. His unrepentant earthy brown eyes
surveyed the helpless, scantily clad female flotsam around him, "It's- er...
not what it looks like."
"Oh really." Connie idly picked up a paper from the floor, scanned it
momentarily and read it aloud."
"Memo: From A.D. Skinner to members of the Surly Pectoral Steno Pool. Try
outs for 'Pin Your Tail on the A.D.' commence at 16:00 hours. Be there and
Use Nair." Oh Walter, how awfully tastless of you."
"Well, no...I bought Honeydust-"
"WALTER!!!" Connie was beyond ticked. She quoted his lame excuse back at him
"Sorry, I can't see you tonight, I'm going over some figures. You bastard!"
Skinner raised a not very contrite eyebrow at her. "I'm a bad A.D. A bad,
bad, bad, A.D.," he offered.
Connie leaned on his deck and tapped one or her five inch stilletto heels
against the side. "Yes. A very, very, bad and naughty and needs to be punished very, very,
very severely A.D. indeed." she growled.
Reviews from some people we paid to review this tripe:
"Shakespeare on Viagra! Bard and Hard!"
Charlie Sheen
"A perspiration!"
Suzanne Somers
"I though 'Smith and Wesson' was a kind of ice cream."
Richard Starkey
"It's a type of gun, you hook nosed English git!"
Sir John Guigud
"I've been knighted too!"
Sir Elton John
"Shaddup, you pommey overdressed fairy!"
Sir Margaret Thatcher
"Very bad grammar indeed. Analogies only a mother could love."