With the cruising ordinance now being enforced in Ybor City (a historical district in Tampa, Florida), there is little doubt that some enterprising drivers will try to find ways to beat the system. For those who want to be a rebel without a cause, or for those who are simply "looking for a parking space" for several hours every Saturday night, here are some suggestions explaining how you can attempt to beat the system.
If you happen to be in the market for a new car, considering buying a model with the optional "chameleon" feature. This enables you a change to color of your car's paint at touch of a button. After you make a couple of trips through Ybor city, simply change to color of your car. This should keep the cops from identifying you as a cruiser. If your "chameleon" option has either the 10 or 12 color selector, you should be able to change the colors enough times to cruise until the wee hours of the morning.
But what if the police happen to be logging registration tags? Simply order your car with the multiple-tag display feature. This was developed based on the James Bond, 007 movies, where Mr. Bond hits a button and the tags spin around, displaying one of several hidden tags. After driving around the block a few times, hit the appropriate button and give your car a new identity. For a few additional dollars, order untraceable tags, and park illegally, without worry that the meter maid's SWAT team would break down your door and force you to pay your overdue parking tickets.
These tactics should enable the diehard cruiser to drive around Ybor
City whenever they want. However, others have expressed concern that people
who were legitimately driving around, waiting for a parking space to open
up, would get into trouble with the law. The only practical solution to
this problem would be to create a new parking area which was convenient
to Ybor City. How about filling in Tampa Bay with landfill, and turning
the newly reclaimed land into a parking lot? A shuttle service would then
take the partygoers into Ybor City for a night on the town, without the
hassles of searching for parking spaces. I have a feeling that this idea
wouldn't be popular with the residents of Bayshore Boulevard, since their
formerly waterfront homes would now have a breathtaking view of a parking
lot.
Return to Dan's Humor Page.