Project One: Non-Linear Chess
       Surprisingly, I've actually completed this project, not something that I typically do. All that remains is to work out a few details with the wording of the rules, and put together a web page to present it. I may also need to find someone who can design a program so that it can be played on a computer.
       Additionally, I plan to work out the same variation for other chess-like board games, Non-Linear Shogi, Non-Linear Alice Chess, Non-Linear Berolina Chess, Non-Linear Chaturanga, Non-Linear Chaturanga for four players, etc., etc.

Project Two: How to Speak Like Tarzan in Any Language
       This hasn't gone far beyond the idea stage. I have completed an outline which lists the materials needed plus the regimen of study habits for learning the language. Eventually, I plan to put a booklet together for learning various languages, as well as for speakers of other languages to learn English.

Project Three: Church of All Saints' Humor (CASH)
       CASH is a mock religion along the lines of other mock religions, Church of the SubGenius, Discordianism, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, not that all other religions aren't also mock religions in their own way, Scientology, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Baha'i, Zoroastrianism, Buddhism, Jainism, Confucianism, Taoism, Hinduism, Sikhism, etc., etc.
       One of the three central themes of CASH is humor in the form of ridicule, ridicule of all other religions as well as all political and economic ideologies. This is the church of ridicule, the church of comedians. The one thing that unites all humanity is our unique ability to make fun of and laugh at people we don't agree with.
       Another of the three central themes of CASH is the idea of Sainthood. Sainthood is recognized by various religions in many different ways. The early Christian church referred to all their members as saints. This same practice was taken up by the Mormons, but saints in this sense aren't venerated like they are in other churches. There is a very complicated process of recognizing saints in the Roman Catholic tradition, but once recognized, the saint is venerated with it's own holiday feast, etc. And when you study the lives of these saints, you soon discover that many of them were actually scoundrels before being canonized. I suppose this is to be expected because all men are sinners in the eyes of the church, but apparently the good that they do in life outweighs the evil, or you can be a saint as long as you end life on a good note.
       So, this second of the three themes of CASH is that you don't need to wait until you die to become a saint, CASH will canonize you today for free. That means, your own shrine, feast, attributes, symbols, icons, veneration, patronage, etc., etc. And, for a small fee, plus shipping and handling, we will provide you with documentary proof of your sainthood, which brings us to the third and arguably the most important central theme of CASH, money,... obviously,... like any other religion.
       With your official membership, you will be provided with your own CASH Chapter of Worship. Your CASH CoW will include a web page for social networking with adult verification access, space for posting your attributes, veneration practices, etc., as well as your position in the church. Church organization will be based on user suggestions, that is, you get to create your own offices and give yourself your own titles, or select from titles already available. There will also be an online store where you can buy (at a discount) or sell church related items, candles with your sainted picture on it, saint dolls, icons, stained glass images, window stickers, bumper stickers, coffee mugs with the giggle fish symbol, adult items, saint vibrators, saint condoms, etc. Particularly offensive items will constantly be added, such as Muhammad Teddy Bears, Koran targets, etc...

Project Four: The Naughty Lass
       Playboy has no Playboy yacht. Playboy needs no Playboy yacht. Or do they?
       Playboy is a publication company, not a yacht chartering company. They have an annual yacht party, but I suspect this is not a money making venture. It's more for publicity than for profit. But what if...
       Imagine someone in the yacht chartering business partnered with Playbody Enterprises. In exchange for free use of the yacht for parties, the yacht could be known as the official Playboy yacht. Playboy would be able to afford more than one yacht party per year since they don't have to pay to charter the yacht, and the yacht chartering company benefits from the extra business in the form of people who want to charter the Playboy yacht for their own cruise.
       Here's twist number one. The yacht will be made by US Submarines, a Phoenix 1000, a 65 meter private luxury submarine, capable of operating at a depth of 1,000 ft. The Naughty Lass. While not being used for parties, or tourists, the yacht could be used for oceanographic research and exploration. Playboy Enterprises can now expand into the science magazine market.
       Twist number two. How does one join the "Mile High" club? You and your partner book a flight on an airplane, once it climbs above one mile, the two of you,... get busy, and you're officially a member of the "Mile High" club. Who can join? Anybody who can afford a ticket on a plane. But what is the underwater equivalent of the "Mile High" club?
       Well, you couldn't call it a "Mile Deep" club because most submersibles don't dive deeper than 1,000 feet, and the 1,000 ft deep club or the 166 fathom club sounds a bit too "clunky" for a name. But I'll get to the name in a bit.
       Who could join this underwater club? Most submarines are operated by the Navy and they have a don't ask, don't tell policy. If you joined on one of their boats, you wouldn't be able to tell anybody, or at least you'd have to be careful who you told. There are, of course, some tourist submarines you could book a trip on, dive with your partner, once underwater, check into the head,... but how easy is it to book a ticket on a tourist submarine. There are tourist submarines in Hawaii and other places, but it's nowhere near as easy as going to the nearest airport. So, there is no underwater equivalent of the "Mile High" club. Playboy would have a virtual monopoly on club membership if they went with the Naughty Lass. They could market it as the "Playboy 20,000 League Club," another play on the Jules Verne theme. And you wouldn't even have to have sex on the boat or while submerged, just booking a cruise would make you an official member.
       Now, compare the Playboy 20,000 League Club to the Mile High Club. What difference is there between joining the Mile High Club on a flight between Denver and Atlanta, or joining the Mile High Club on a flight between Rome and Cairo? There's nothing special about the air space, so at best, the only difference is who you joined with and where on the plane you joined. You still have those differences on a submarine but you have much more. The world's oceans and seas have unique, long and colorful histories. You could be a member of the Playboy 20,000 League Club with certificates proving that you crossed the equator, that you were in the Mediterranean, the Caribbean, the South Pacific, you could get a "Seven Seas" certificate along with your membership. And think of all the badges, broaches, tie pins, cuff links, ear rings, necklaces, hats, coffee mugs, model Naughty Lasses, etc., etc.

Project Five: Straw-bale/Shipping Container Hybrid Home
       Lot's of design concepts.

Project Six: SeaRoom Residence Park
       Expanding on the SeaRoom model, (click on "Plan view of SeaRoom Residence - Lower Main Level" to get the pop-up of the floor plan,) building a "trailer park" community of SeaRoom Residences either in a harbor near a city where work can be found or in the open ocean connected, perhaps, to a network of old cargo ships, an old oil rig or something where work can be found.

Project Seven: Non-Fiction Writings
       An autobiography, not that my life is very interesting, and various essays on topics, philosophy, religion, politics and science.

Project Eight: Personal fitness, nutrition and hygiene
       I keep telling myself I need to get in shape.

Project Nine: Amateur Soft Porn web sites
       I have a number of original ideas in this area, but I don't want to get too specific about descriptions or someone else will grab the idea and run before I can.

Project Ten: Lists
       Timelines, checklists, inventories, collections, puns, etc., etc. Mostly just things I do to kill time.

Project Eleven: Updating this web site
       Making sure the links aren't broken, making sure the links are interesting, finding new interesting links, re-arranging everything.

Project Twelve: I'm sure I'll think of something else
       I've already got dozens of projects that I've retired half finished.

Funniest Movies Ever
    Dr. Strangelove
    Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again
    Kung Pow!
    Mel Brooks films
       Blazing Saddles
       High Anxiety
       History of the World, Part 1
       Robin Hood: Men in Tights
       Spaceballs
       Young Frankenstein
    Monty Python
       Monty Python and the Holy Grail
       Life of Brian
       Meaning of Life
       Flying Circus episodes
    Murder By Death
    Pink Panther movies
       The Pink Panther
       A Shot in the Dark
       Return of the Pink Panther
       The Pink Panther Strikes Again
       Revenge of the Pink Panther
    Trey Parker, Matt Stone films
       South Park episodes
       South Park: Bigger, Better, Uncut
       Team America: World Police
    Zorro: The Gay Blade
    Zuckeresque films
       Kentucky Fried Movie
       Airplane!
       Airplane II: The Sequel
       Police Squad! episodes
       Naked Gun
       Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
       Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
       Hot Shots!
       Hot Shots! Part Deux
       Wrongfully Accused

Documentaries
    Life of Mammals
       (but only disks 1 through 3)
    Life of Birds
    Life in the Undergrowth
    Winged Migration

Other movies
    Army of Darkness
    Big Trouble in Little China
    Blade Runner
    Das Boot
    Day the Earth Stood Still
    Doctor Zhivago
    Dogs of War
    Dune
    Eastwood Westerns
       Fistful of Dollars
       For a Few Dollars More
       Good, the Bad and the Ugly
       Hang em High
       Paint Your Wagon
       Two Mules for Sister Sarah
       High Plains Drifter
       Outlaw Josey Wales
       Pale Rider
       Unforgiven
    Equilibrium
    Falling Down
    Fiddler on the Roof
    Gods Must Be Crazy
    Gorillas in the Mist
    Howard the Duck
    In the Name of the Father
    Kiss of the Spider Woman
    Kubrick films
       Spartacus
       Lolita, 1962
       2001: A Space Odyssey
    Meatballs
    Milagro Beanfield War
    Moby Dick, 1956
    Mr Holland's Opus
    Never Cry Wolf
    Nineteen Eighty Four
    Planet of the Apes, 1968
    Pleasantville
    Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
    Robinson Crusoe on Mars
    Rookie
    Sound of Music
    Stealing Home
    Thing From Another World, 1951