In the earlier part of the 1900's (exact time unknown) there was a man with a Radio Show. His name was Spooner. Wether he was indeed a Doctor, a Reverand, or even honorable, has yet to be decided in my page.
He did, however, popularize a unique variation on the English language, known to this day as "Spoonerizims". The most common word known is "Bass-Ackwards" which also tends to explain the whole idea behind the language.
I will attempt to list (over time) the various "phrases" that I've come up with in my life that seem to depict a certian irony in life. Although some of these may not be direct translations, governed by the laws of Spooner, they tend to be close enough for government work. So, that said, on with the list....
Balistic Pigs (Plastic bags) Everyone knows that plastic is not good for the environment. A product of the Dow Chemical Company, also known for manufacturing Agent Orange within 50' of my high school (during the Viet Nam War). Politics is making laws so that even cigerettes can't be advertised within a certian area from a school, but I bet Dow is still making deadly chemicals in that plant!
Was Beens and Hives (Husbands and Wives) I was married, once. (It didn't work for me. I felt washed up, and the wife was constanly screaming!)
Nibble Some Scroats (Scribble some notes.) What I'm doing! WRITING!
Douse your Wishes (Wash your dishes) My neighbour's 3 girls used to wash dishes by hand. They once asked their Dad when they were going to get an automatic dishwasher. He said, "Why should I buy a dishwasher? I've already got 3 good ones!"
Hippies are Pandering (Shipping and Handling) What makes a good mail order deal not so good. Probably invented by a Capitolist Hippie. (Isn't that an oxy-moron? {It breaths air! It's too smart for it's own good!})
Cock your Lar, Cake your Tease! (Lock you car, Take your Keys) From an old commercial. (Sex Sells!)
Paved Shushi Squealtitties won't let me translate this one. Suffice it to say that if it smells like fish and it's on the street, you can find it on the web, somewhere...
Breezin' my Falls off! Well, what are you doing airing those things in the tundra for, any way?
Ate Her Lawn (Latter On!) We are talking cows in the front yard, aren't we?
Lets you Cater (Catch you later.) Bye!
Spews, Nether, and Warts! (News Weather and Sports!) Like that band said, "The bubble headed bleach-blonde comes on at five! She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye! It's interesting when people die! Give us dirty laundry!"
If you now have the idea of this process, Email me with your favorite Spoonerizims!
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