it's february. short month. long year. Tigh Mound. my former student. killed
Himself. maybe we killed Him. His grandma told me. we are good friends.

He is number #3. big number. used to follow me like a starving reservation pup.
i tried to help him. they wouldn't let me. the professionals. bia. fbi. judges
tice and pahlke. governor janklow. they made me bleed. blood wasted.

evil looks like good. it makes good look like evil. pastor bert told me.

the sunlight glares. they close their eyes. the wind howls. they close their
ears.

His body is dead. maybe His soul is in heaven. my body lives. my soul burns in
hell. may the souls of the enablers burn in hell too.

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It is a sad time for me. Tigh decided life was too painful to live. I had him
in the fifth grade. A bright boy who found himself lost and nobody cared enough
to help him. Reminds me again of President Carter's quote, "We say we care
about the children, but we don't." He said that when he was making homes in
Eagle Butte. I heard him say it. It still burns in my ears.

This makes the third student I had who decided life was hopeless. I guess it
is. All three were from the Cheyenne River Reservation.

It gets harder for me, not easier. Someone told me that perhaps Tigh was one of
the lucky ones. Hundreds more are still suffering while the money and power
rolls on.

I saw the problem in Tigh from the beginning. He used to follow me around just
one step behind. I helped him the best I could, but Supt. Farlee and Councilman
Frankie Thompson needed victims and Tigh and I were the chosen. I was the
victim of political persecution and Tigh was the victim of their neglect.

I will always remember when we were discussing problems in Farlee's office she
explained the BIA strategy for survival in the administrative ranks. She
said, "Shit rolls downhill." I was at the bottom of the hill, and she was in
the possession of a lot of shit.

I took this photo myself. He was with me everywhere. We liked each other. How
poignant that the picture was taken by the clock and calendar. Neither of
realized time was running out for him. And me as well, but in a different way.

I can't help wonder what effect all this has on his little sister.  Her mother
was killed in a drinking spree, she put her father in prison for molesting her,
and her big brother has killed himself. I can't imagine.