I was in the middle of being funny when my computer locked up and I lost all of my vital thoughts. The Earth is still rotating and travelling in an elliptical orbit around the sun, so I guess my little outlook on life is not THAT vital. If my ego can handle that revelation I should be able to get some of the magic back though.

The inspiration for my most recent foray into the not so normal was, of course, a woman. Like most things in the lives of adults the inspiration was driven by a need for companionship.  That sounds much more lustful than it really is, but I will let you have your bad thoughts (don't tell me...unless they are really good *g*). I am really good at reading people, but it never happens when I really need it happen.  So I miss the important stuff and have a great understanding of the everyday.  Not the way I would like it...where was I? Oh yeah...emotions and feelings...kinda.

My thought is simple. I have come up with the perfect use of genetic engineering for the next generation.  Just so people can't walk around not saying things (or saying things) and making silly mistakes, I propose that geneticists come up with a way to make emotions and feelings visable to others.  A little emotion monitor if you will.  My thought went through a few phases before I decided on the final product.  Picture if you can:

The Mood Head: Like its predecessor the Mood Ring, the mood head changes colors as the person's mood changes from good to bad.  Unlike the old rings the head would actually work.  As the hormones for different feelings would pulse (I shouldn't use the words "hormones" and "pulse" in the same breath should I? *g*) through the body, little man-made organs would supply the pores in the face with different pigments.  Are you mad?  Your head would turn a bright shade of red (more than normal that is).  Feeling a little anxious?  Suddenly the head turns light green to tell the world you are a bundle of nerves that might pop open at any moment.  As if the pressure weren't enough already...now you are green to boot *g*.  In the same room as your heart-throb?  Your head would let her (or him) know how you felt by changing to a light shade of pink.  Ummmm...I think I won't comment on that last one *s*.  In the end I realized that the Mood Head wasn't sure enough.  After all, these things usually happen in nature anyway.  I needed something more drastic.

The Humour Stick: Ancient physicians thought that the human body contained humours.   These humours were all the emotions and feelings that men and women felt.   They believed that by bleeding a person the foul humours could be removed.   Now with the miracle of genectics we might be able to use the idea.  Instead of just blindly removing the humour we could monitor it by checking the Humour Stick.   The stick, much like a dipstick in a car, would be placed so that it would touch all the humours in the body.  It would detect too much anger or envy, allowing you to replace it with happiness or love.  When you wanted to know what someone felt you could go check their stick.  The problem with the stick arises (no pun intended) since any location that might be able to hold the stick is...well...in a fairly personal area.  Checking the Humour Stick on someone that is already mad at you probably wouldn't help the situation much and people who might be in love might be too timid to reach down there too soon.  Then again... ... ...*g*.  I can hear the lines already "Hey baby...just check my stick...I promise we are for real."

Pheremones:   Many animals use odor to tell other animals how they feel or what they think.  With genetic engineering maybe we could enhance our sense of smell so we could pick up olfactory cues from each other, or we could make our scents more potent.  What started out as a good idea soon turned into a debauchery as I thought of the consequences.  Hordes of stinky and rambunctious people in single's bars all over the nation running around like confused deer in heat.  Hmmm...that is pretty close to the truth anyway *s*.  Even if we could control ourselves (that is a huge freakin' if) there would always be the unscrupulous people that would bathe themselves in the scent of love just to get a quickie.  Ummm...that sounds familiar too *g*.   In any case the smell wouldn't be worth it.  If you doubt me then next time you are falling asleep next to your beloved volunteer to sleep in the wet spot and see how good you smell in the morning...yuck!!!

So there I was, with all my good ideas lying on the ground like a broken pile of tinker toys.  What was I to do?  Most people would give up on their grand dreams.  Not me though.  I still have a plan.   I will just wait for someone to figure out how to make my dream come true...then I will sue them for copyright infringement *giggle*...just kidding...sorta *s*.

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