Fecalicious: hello... I found you on Find a Buddy
Fecalicious: my name is Eric Feca
FSUbabe: hi:-)
Fecalicious: brb
FSUbabe: i'm lindsay
FSUbabe: ok..
Fecalicious: ok
Fecalicious: where are you from?
Fecalicious: I'm from the Netherlands
FSUbabe: florida..
FSUbabe: you are?
Fecalicious: yes... I live in Amsterdam
FSUbabe: like..is that near newfoundland?
Fecalicious: but English is my second language
FSUbabe: oh...
FSUbabe: i dont want to sound..blonde but is that in canada?
Fecalicious: no
Fecalicious: Europe
FSUbabe: oh thats cool:-)
Fecalicious: yes
Fecalicious: Amsterdam is a fun place
FSUbabe: have you lived there all your life?
Fecalicious: EVERYTHING is legal
FSUbabe: i'm sure
Fecalicious: yes, born and raised here
Fecalicious: have you ever been to Europe?
FSUbabe: yep..paris...germany switz...austria
Fecalicious: nice!!
Fecalicious: but not Holland?
FSUbabe: no..
Fecalicious: ah, alas
FSUbabe: have you ever been in america?
Fecalicious: you haven't truly experienced Europe until you come to a
Fecalicious: Amsterdam
Fecalicious: yes, I went to New York one time when I was very little, but I don't remember much
FSUbabe: thats cool
FSUbabe: you have to visit florida..its the best state..so many beaches and everything
Fecalicious: yes, I've heard a lot about Florida
Fecalicious: and Disney world
Fecalicious: and Miami
FSUbabe: yup:-)its the best
Fecalicious: have you lived there all your life?
FSUbabe: yeah..
Fecalicious: sounds like fun!
Fecalicious: how old are you? I'm 20
FSUbabe: it is.....
FSUbabe: oh..well i'm 16...
Fecalicious: you're 16 and you go to FSU?
FSUbabe: lol no i just liek that university...its where i'm most likely going to go
Fecalicious: they have a good football team, yes?
FSUbabe: oh yeah
Fecalicious: I have heard that the best American football team is Virginia Tech
FSUbabe: they've won many championships
Fecalicious: because they have this famous boy, Vick
FSUbabe: welll i dunno
Fecalicious: I hear the Americans worship this Vick
FSUbabe: i dont...i have actually never heard of him:-)
Fecalicious: really!
Fecalicious: do you watch college football?
FSUbabe: yeah
FSUbabe: some of it
FSUbabe: not all the time
Fecalicious: i see
Fecalicious: do you like Jesus?
Fecalicious: I think that everyone who doesn't like Jesus is going to hell
FSUbabe: yes of course i do
FSUbabe: i'm christian...how about you
Fecalicious: I am too
Fecalicious: anyone who isn't is a dirty heathen
Fecalicious: all pagans burn in hell, my minister says
FSUbabe: well good...i just went to this awesome concert the other night with all of these christian bands..it was so much fun
FSUbabe: pagans...witches right?
Fecalicious: pagans are anyone who doesn't believe in the full Power of Our Lord Jesus
Fecalicious: be they filthy Muslims, godforsaken Jews or evil dirty Hindus
FSUbabe: well acually..i dont judge people...even if they aren't christians..if they haven't done anything to me i dont have a reaosn to be against them...one of my best guy friends is jewisha nd i just found that out a month ago..but that doesn't mean i'm not going to talk to him
Fecalicious: really? I was taught never to associate with anyone who is not a Pure Aryan Christian
FSUbabe: why not??
Fecalicious: that's what my minister told us
Fecalicious: and my parents
FSUbabe: the world would be so much more peaceful if you gave everyone a chance..christian or not
FSUbabe: thats not what they tell us here
Fecalicious: that makes sense to me
Fecalicious: perhaps my minister is a bit extreme
FSUbabe: maybe
Fecalicious: like the other day, he insisted that we all follow him to his barn and have a Christian Purifying Sex Ritual
Fecalicious: my parents went, but I was busy with Bible study
FSUbabe: thats different...what do they do?
Fecalicious: I don't know much about it... something about using the minister's pure semen to fertilize the earth and mixing it with pure Christian blood
FSUbabe: thats....christianity stuff???
Fecalicious: yes, my minister said Jesus started the tradition
FSUbabe: you guys must believe things a bit differently over there..
FSUbabe: i've neevr heard of that
Fecalicious: you know, like it says in the Holy Bible..."This is my semen, which shall be given up for you"
FSUbabe: all i know is to stay pure until i'm married
Fecalicious: yes, we believe that too
FSUbabe: and so far i still am
FSUbabe: most girls lose it in highschool
Fecalicious: our minister says the best way to stay pure is to engage in the Purifying Sex Ritual so that you are pure for holy matrimony
Fecalicious: it is good to stay pure
FSUbabe: i know
FSUbabe: do you have a picture?
Fecalicious: our minister says if you aren't pure before marriage, you go to hell
Fecalicious: yes, hold on, let me find it
FSUbabe: k
Fecalicious: ok, sorry that took so long
Fecalicious: here
FSUbabe: k
FSUbabe signed on at 10:58:58 PM.
Fecalicious wants to send file C:\Temp\Eric3.jpg.
FSUbabe received C:\Temp\Eric3.jpg.
Fecalicious: they took that at Bible Study a few weeks
ago
FSUbabe wants to directly connect.
FSUbabe is now directly connected.
FSUbabe: 
FSUbabe: thats me
Fecalicious: ooh, you are attractive... but I mustn't have lustful thoughts or I will be condemned to Hell
FSUbabe: yeah..dont wanna do that now..
FSUbabe: thanks though
Fecalicious: no indeed
Fecalicious: hell is a miserable place
FSUbabe: i'm sure..
Fecalicious: do you have a minister?
FSUbabe: yeah
FSUbabe: i think so..i dont go to church all the time
FSUbabe: i go with one of my friend severy so often
Fecalicious: oh, I see
Fecalicious: what's your church called?
FSUbabe: first baptist of tampa
Fecalicious: Ours is called the 7th Holland Bible Church of Jesus the Delicious
FSUbabe: but i was baptized as a lutheran..theres no church i can find close to me that is lutheran
Fecalicious: our minister renamed it that
Fecalicious: it used to be just 7th Holland Bible Church
FSUbabe: cool
Fecalicious: some say our minister is crazy in the head
Fecalicious: but I think he is a genius
Fecalicious: he has a true insight into the Word of Jesus
FSUbabe: yeah
Fecalicious: like the whole lost passage in the Bible he discovered, about how ministers must deflower all women to purify them for their weddings
Fecalicious: my sister is getting married soon... her deflowering is scheduled for next Tuesday
Fecalicious: she is a bit nervous about the whole thing
FSUbabe: aww thats cool
FSUbabe: how old is she
Fecalicious: she's 15
FSUbabe: shes only 15 and shes getting married?
Fecalicious: yes, our minister says if a woman isn't married by 18, she's going to hell
FSUbabe: thats bizzarre
FSUbabe: does he make this up??
FSUbabe: because i've neevr innmy life heard that
Fecalicious: no, he hears the Word of Jesus
Fecalicious: and whatever Jesus says, we follow
FSUbabe: .....ok
FSUbabe: well i cant get married until i'm 18 because its gonna take longer than 2 years to find my true love...
FSUbabe: i dont wanna get married until i'm done with college anyways
Fecalicious: 18, eh? just make sure you're not 19 when you get married, for that's too old for Jesus
FSUbabe: no it will be older than 19
Fecalicious: oh... well, to each his own, I suppose
Fecalicious: respect, yo
Fecalicious: that's what I'm talkin' about
Fecalicious: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Fecalicious: - Aretha Franklin
FSUbabe: respect what..
Fecalicious: oh, just respect in general
FSUbabe: myself?
Fecalicious: yes, yourself
Fecalicious: and each other
FSUbabe: oh ok
Fecalicious: do you eat the bread and drink the wine in church?
FSUbabe: no...
Fecalicious: our minister keeps all the wine for himself, but we still get to eat the bread
Fecalicious: sometimes he drinks so much Holy Wine that he has trouble standing up
FSUbabe: isn't that a sin...to drink?
FSUbabe: to drink to the point you cant stand
Fecalicious: for us, yes
Fecalicious: which is why our minister keeps the wine from us
FSUbabe: then hes committed a sin
Fecalicious: he says it's not a sin for ministers to drink the holy wine
FSUbabe: yeah but thats him saying that...
FSUbabe: holy wine is supossed ot be for everyone..not just one person
Fecalicious: it is?
FSUbabe: yeah
Fecalicious: oh...
FSUbabe: and the bread
FSUbabe: of course
Fecalicious: perhaps our minister is a bit extreme
FSUbabe: yeah i think he is
Fecalicious: my grandpa was going to tell the church that he was crazy, but he mysteriously died right before he could say anything, right after he ate his communion bread
Fecalicious: it was a sad day... he ate the bread and started foaming at the mouth and keeled over right on the church floor
FSUbabe: he had a seizure
Fecalicious: the minister said it was his time, and God took him home
Fecalicious: the last words grandpa said before he choked on his own tongue was something like "the bread... poisoned..."
Fecalicious: but he was just talking gibberish because he was seeing God
FSUbabe: then he was probably poisned
Fecalicious: who, God was?
FSUbabe: no
FSUbabe: your grandfather
Fecalicious: he was?
Fecalicious: by who? God?
Fecalicious: oh no, it couldn't have been SATAN, could it???
Fecalicious: now I'm scared
FSUbabe: no..the minister?
FSUbabe: satan maybe...but someone had to put it in there
Fecalicious: now why would our minister want to punish my grandpa?
FSUbabe: i dont know...but from what i hear your minister seems to go beyond some things..maybe your grandpa didn't do something the minister wanted him to believe in?
FSUbabe: or was your grandpa real into christainity too?
Fecalicious: ya think???????
FSUbabe: yeah
Fecalicious: well, he was about to stand up and condemn the minister...
Fecalicious: but no, the minister wouldn't do something like that... he is a holy man
Fecalicious: a holy, righteous, handsome, virile man
FSUbabe: i mean your minister..from what i hear..sounds scary ..
Fecalicious: of pure Christian blood
FSUbabe: some holy people aren't really holy
FSUbabe: expecially this girl i once knew
Fecalicious: ah
Fecalicious: tell me about this girl
FSUbabe: they just say they are
Fecalicious: ok, you seem like a very wise, patient and caring person
FSUbabe: thankyou
Fecalicious: so I'm gonna stop messing with you now because you're obviously too naive to realize I'm just screwing with ya
Fecalicious: HAHAHA