I was gonna just write a biography, but then I thought: Who wants to read that crap? So instead I'll show you my "profile." You know, one of those annoying forwards that people actually take the time to fill out. So here it is:
Oh, and if you wanna take my quiz, click here... loser.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP: A professional FLASHER!
FULL NAME: Robert Benjamin Adams (Parents were gonna name me Benjamin Robert, but then my initials would be BRA.)
AGE: 20
SEX: Male
LOCATION: Blacksburg (Virginia Tech)/Herndon
BIRTHDATE: 9/24/80
SCREEN NAMES: BenJamminVT, LysDexic3, FaultyBall
SIBLINGS: Greg, 18
BEST FRIENDS: Greg, Brent, Josh, Mike, Beel, Doyle, Jeff G, Katie Kramer, and of course my 3 roomies Ryan, Justin and Josh, and Tyom Dyot Cyom
HIDDEN TALENTS: (1) Making faces; (2) Voices; (3) I know a lot about planes.
COLOR: Depends on what's colored.
NUMBER: 37 (You have to see the movie "Clerks" to know why).
WORDS/PHRASES: Oh God, I could devote an entire new page to this one.
SEASON: I like 'em all for different reasons.
PLANET: Earth (duh).
WEATHER: Depends on the season.
COMMERCIAL: THE DUTCH COMMERCIAL!!! Also, the one I filmed with Naz and Kim at the graveyard for drama.. man, we were right on that guy's grave... also this one that Brent and Noah and I did in 7th grade creative writing, for "Schizophrenic Barbie/KenŽ" And many other hilarious ones.
TV SHOWS: The Simpsons, The Family Guy, Daily Show, Sopranos and South Park.
RESTAURANT: Outback Steakhouse, Charlie Chiang's
FOREIGN LANGUAGE: Spanish.
BEN & JERRY'S FLAVOR: Chocolate chip cookie dough.
HOLIDAY: Christmas, I guess
SPORT TO PLAY: Roller hockey, I guess.
SPORT TO WATCH: Football, but only when it involves Virginia Tech.
SODA: Cream soda or root beer
CARTOON: The Simpsons! Family Guy comes in a VERY close second.
MUSIC: I like modern and classic rock.
DO YOU TRUST PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET? Do I trust Lorena Bobbitt with a knife?
BELIEVE IN EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL LIFE? Yes, but it can never contact us, and vice versa.
VEGETARIAN? Hell no... I love a big, juicy steak.
PROBLEM WITH HOMOSEXUALITY? No butt-sex for me, thanks... but I don't care what other people do, it's their business. Homophobes are just as ignorant and retarded as racists.
THINK CHEERLEADERS CONTRIBUTE TO SPORTS? Only to the guys.
WOULD LIKE TO HAVE CHILDREN ONE DAY? Yes, and I still can with one ball, dammit!
LIKE MENTOS? I like the fruit kind the best.
WATCH THE X-FILES? Used to, but then I stopped.
HAVE A COLOR PRINTER? Yeah, a nice one.
HAVE ALLERGIES? Not anymore... I got allergy shots when I was little.
EVER FLOWN IN A PLANE? Yes, I LOVE it.
EVER FLOWN FIRST CLASS ON A PLANE? Once (we got bumped up), from Orlando to NY.
DO YOU EAT SPAM? I've never eaten it in my life. But I have a t-shirt that says "Spam" on it that I got for $3.
HAVE A BASKETBALL HOOP IN YOUR DRIVEWAY? No, but there's one in our cul-de-sac, which nobody uses.
DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM IS A GOOD COOK? Definitely.
EVER BROKEN A BONE IN YOUR LIFE? Broke my toe in drama class and my ankle sledding.
LIKE CRUST ON YOUR BREAD? I guess. Only if it's bread crust, though.
CONSIDER CLEAR A COLOR? No. What a stupid question.
KNOW SOMEONE WITH HIV/AIDS? Nope... probably cuz they died before I met them.
CAN YOU NAME ALL 9 PLANETS OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD? Why yes. Yes I can. I'm a big boy now.
SKITTLES OR M&MS: That's a close one... M&Ms, I guess.
PEPSI OR COKE: I like root beer and cream soda better than that crap.
MARKERS OR CRAYONS: Crayons (they taste better).
PEN OR PENCIL: Pencil, cuz it's erasable.
LENO OR LETTERMAN: Letterman (but Conan and Kilborn are SO much better.)
STARS OR STRIPES: Both, thanks... commie.
EVEN OR ODD: Even.
DOGS OR CATS: DOGS!! Cats are evil.
HOT OR COLD: Pizza hot; Ice cream cold.
DAY OR NIGHT: Depends on whether I want to sleep.
BEAVIS OR BUTTHEAD: Beavis. But that show's so OLD.
BOOKS OR MAGAZINES: Books.
POPEYE'S OR KFC: KFC.
CITY OR COUNTRY: I like the country for its nature and peacefulness, and the city for its buildings and people.
NINTENDO OR SEGA: Outdated question... Nintendo of course... Sega is dead; however, Sony tops 'em all with their PS2.
INDOORS OR OUTDOORS: Let's compromise and be in a tent.
HANSON OR SPICE GIRLS (YES YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE): Hanson has more talent, but I still hate 'em.
ARMY OR NAVY: I'd rather be in the Navy (but I choose the Air Force out of all of 'em).
CHECKERS OR CHESS: Chess.
REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT: I LOATHE PARTISAN POLITICS. But BUSH IS A FUCKTARD.
STARS WARS OR STAR TREK: Star Wars! Phantom Menace kicked ass! Well, I thought so, anyway.
SHORTS OR PANTS: Hot or cold?
SALT OR PEPPER: Salt.
ROCK, PAPER, OR SCISSORS: Yes!
MY LITTLE PONIES OR CARE BEARS: I had a care bear... Sunshine Bear... *sniff*
GHOSTBUSTERS OR INSPECTOR GADGET: Ghostbusters.
CALVIN&HOBBES OR THE FAR SIDE: LOVE 'em both, but I'd have to go w/Far Side.
THE REAL WORLD OR ROAD RULES: I HATE THAT CRAP. MTV sucks.
PAST OR FUTURE: Future.
EAST OR WEST: They both rule for different reasons, but I must call the east coast my home... FOR NOW! BWAH HAHAHAHA!
CURLY OR STRAIGHT HAIR: Straight.
BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: Brunettes.
UFOs--FACT OR FICTION: Complete BS.
SUPERMAN OR SPIDERMAN: Superman.
HOT DOG OR HAMBURGER: Both.
FROG OR TOAD: Frogs.
TOM OR JERRY: Tom. I wanna kill that lil' bastard Jerry.
COOL RANCH OR NACHO CHEESE: Cool Ranch.
PEANUT BUTTER OR JELLY: Jelly.
MCGWIRE OR SOSA: I don't give a flying fuck off a rolling donut.
CELINE DION OR ROOT CANAL: She should have a root canal. I want to hear her in pain.
ROSIE O'DONNELL OR OPRAH: Rosie's funnier.
SUN OR MOON: Day or night?
COFFEE OR TEA: Tea.
JACK OR JILL: Larry.
GARFIELD OR SNOOPY: Garfield... Peanuts sucks.
PINKY OR BRAIN: I'd rather have my brain.
TV OR INTERNET: Internet.
FLINTSTONES OR JETSONS: See "past or future."
CIA OR FBI: They're both equally important (and incompetent).
Well, I hope you learned some stuff about me, because you apparently wanted to know enough to read the whole damn thing.
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