Cultural Differences Explained
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that it is the government's job.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words, or the language, of their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing it.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box (or Internet IRC).
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get the American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four British channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain and the U.S., where everyone loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.
Americans: Spell and pronounce words differently, but still call it "English".
Brits: Pronounce and spell their words correctly and call it "English".
Canadians: Spell like the Americans, but pronounce like Brits.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, and liquor in a backward country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, and liquor in a backward country.
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer in cans and long-necked bottles.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer in anything!
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss by the half gallon.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it!
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.