Things that make you go hmmm.

• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• What's another word for thesaurus?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
• Why do they lock gas stations bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
• If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
• Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?
• How do they get non-stick Teflon to stay coated to the pan?
• If con is the opposite of pro is congress the opposite of progress?
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Can you ever visualize the world without hypothetical situations?
• Why don't they spell phonetic the way it sounds?
• Why do they have interstates in Hawaii?
• Why do you have to have a driver's license to purchase liquor when its illegal to drink and drive?
• Why do they have flotation devices under the seats of airplanes rather than parachutes?
• Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited?
• How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• You know how most packages say "Open here" .What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings do Orientals throw hamburgers?
• Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
• Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
• Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk?
• The light went out, but where to?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?
• How come when I call Information they can't tell me where my keys are or how to spell faux pas?
• Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
• Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
• Why is the alphabet in that order?
• If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
• If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
• What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
• When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
• Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby! Mr. Bigger's baby because he is a little bigger!
• Do fish get cramps after eating?
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
• If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
• If progress is technology moving forward, then what is congress?
• Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?
• What if C-A-T really spelled DOG?
• How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
• If the plural of "mouse" is "mice, shouldn't the plural of "house" be "hice"?
• What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten?
• If you put orange juice in the freezer it becomes frozen, then why when you squeeze an orange doesn't it become squozen?
• Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
• Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
• Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• Don't think that you're thinking. If you think that you're thinking you only think that you're thinking.
• When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
• If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?
• Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

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