Amish Dave's Words of Wisdom
 
 
 
Where simplicity is our way of life.

 

On Running Water
Running water is not necessary for a content soul; indeed, there is something very wholesome about having to go to the well any time thou may needst to quench thine thirst. It teaches thee the value of something that many take for granted; that is, the miracle that is mother nature. It builds character, as it is quite the struggle to move the heavy pail. It also encourages helping the infirm, as they may not be able to fetch the aforementioned bucket themselves, and thusly brings the family closer. Finally, if thou must obtain the water, thou learns to guage whether thou really needst nature's beverage. It forces thee to learn the difference between "want" and "need;" a valuable lesson.

On Electricity
Few are those who ask my esteemed opinion on what is so quaintly known as "electricity." This atrocity is none other than the devil's putrid bile, coursing through all that modern man hold dear, whispering to him, as did foul asp Adam so long ago, that sloth be no sin! If the devil is not given thine rejection, calamity our woe shall be. My brothers and sisters, together we must till the fields, and together we shall have purity of mind and spirit, untainted by the dark one's empty gifts.

Midgets: atrocity of nature or gift from God?
Upon first glance, thou might say that midgets surely must be spawn of Lucifer. However, if thine mind be so shallow, thou willst meet with unfortunate circumstances on the day of Judgment. My friends, this unfortunate deformity is truly a blessing, barely in diguise; for how can one deny that this hardship that the little souls must endure is a virtual guarantee for a wonderful afterlife? Let them toil beside thee as a brother!

Your heavy metal is blasphemous
Why must thou continue to forsake the good will of God with this drivel? The time thou hast been given on this earth by the almighty is short indeed, and must not be cast away in this fashion! Your instruments of music are quite worldly-what has happened to the spirit of Glassenheit* that once pulsated through each just man? Wish ye stir up the violent storm of emotion that exists in all? Wish ye contribute to ye're own undoing?

*note from editor: Glassenheit = humility