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Mustache Mania

January 24^th 2000

Nineteenth Edition

Howdy Y'all. I hope you all had great holidays. I must start off by saying I am sorry for not having a New Years special edition, but it was a very hectic time for Mustache Man.  The evil was out and I had to go take care of it.

 ****UPDATE****

I meant to make this a Christmas edition, a Newyears edition etc. But well it was a crazy time so now's better than never eh.

Adventures of Mustache Man...

    T'was the night before New years eve.  I had just had the worst day anyone could possibly have.  I started off stepping on glass, then fell in a vat of honey then I crashed in to a truck carrying chickens. To say the least it was a pretty crappy day.  

    After I cleaned off all of the feathers and chicken droppings I decided to fly on over to Spike's place. I needed to talk some sense into that boy.  So I picked him up by his toes and flew him over to the coffee shop.  As I was about tell Spike that stealing people's Barbie dolls, it's just not right, when out from behind the counter the coffee lady Doris pulled out a shot gun and was starting to go postal.  She pointed the gun right at my head and told me that I had to die so that she could pay me back for busting her brother Bob a few years back.  I jumped up and tried to talk some sense in to her. but to no avail she started firing the gun at me. Thank goodness for my 6 pack.  The bullets bounced off my chest (breaking 5 outta 6 beers i had hidden in my tights. so now i only have a 1 pack till i can make it back to the beer store) I then used my special laser beam that shoot out of my eyes like superman...but mine are better. and i melted her shot gun. She was about to go for the coffee pot but i managed to trip her and threw her in the dough mixer for the donuts. That's when the police arrived and I sat down with Spike again to give him his little talk.

Rockweb News...

RE: Artist/message of the day...well the reasons why there haven't been artist/messages of the day is simply because Sheik broke it and only Mike can fix it...way to go Sheik! :p

Item B: Opinions Wanted
I'm curious to know what everyone's opinions are on certain structural functions of the chatroom. Mainly the return of the IP logger. Please let us know if you are in favor or not in favor of the return of the ip logger. My opinion is the ip logger is a good thing for the purposes of knowing whether or not there is someone else in the room. I think one of the reasons there is currently low traffic is because nobody posts because they think the room is empty. If the IP logger was present people would know if they were posting to an empty room or not. On the other hand I must say there was nothing more annoying to me personally than a thousand posts that said "lurkers lurkers lurkers". But i suppose I could easily trade that in and tolerate it if the room was a bit more active. But anyway, please post your opinion on this issue in the wcboard, and an update from negz and/or sheik will follow soon. Chances are if enough people want it up there I can talk Negz into bringing it back. You folks got the WCBoard back by voicing your opinion, so you know this system works. Let your voice be heard.

Happy chatting,
Sheik

Name that song...

"I was high school/loser
Never made it with a/lady
Til a boy told me somethin I missed
That my next door/neighbor
had a daughter/had a favor
And I gave the girl just a little kiss, like this"

Please send all responses to mustachemania@hotmail.com also include your name/handle and if can the issue number would make it easier for me to keep tabs on the correct responses.

Ask Alice...

Ask Alice is the ultimate in advice columns! We have the answers for everything! Whether you're looking for ways to stop your cheating hillbilly, or want to know what that strange object is growing out of the side of your head, WE CAN HELP YOU!!!

Question: How do I get ride of those nasty red marks on my butt?

Answer: You could always get someone to slap your ass a bunch of times with a nice paddle, frying pan, or whatever is handy and than your whole ass will be the same color.  Have fun with it too, I know I would.

 justaskalice@hotmail.com

this has been a Mustache Mania Production. All mustache names, logos a

Insight about coughing on pot smoke...By Lea

the act of smoking pot, whether relevant to your lifestyle or not, has some interesting accompanying phenomenon's. whether you do it or not, you can read this and laugh, or use it for your own insight, should you ever decide to take up the habit. most mind-boggling is The Cough. any pot smoker knows that if it hits just the right spot, you cough that stuff out like it's poison. this plant loving population also knows well that the cough sets you off into space even farther than you get from simple inhalation/exhalation. so my theory, for those who are open to new thoughts (of course thought up in a profound state of mind) is that the exercise of coughing on a lung full of foggy chemicals causes the mind altering substance even further into the lungs, and into the deep insides of the smoker, pressing it into them. this occurs after the first bursting cough, which lets only some of the smoke out of your lungs. we instinctively take that fast rapid breath after the first cough, drawing the smoke further in, before the next cough. coughing always sucks, and no one WANTS to do it, but there's always the added bonus if it should happen every once in awhile. haha. this is a funny story :) I'm well on my way to newsweek!!

Visit the Official Mustache Mania home page!

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Theater/1649/mustache.html

Also please take the time to fill out the on-line survey, as well check out back issues of Mustache Mania.

 

Joke of the week...fwd e-mail

A man complained to his coworker that he didn't know what to
get his wife for her birthday.

"She already has everything you could think of, and she can
buy herself whatever she likes."

"Here's an idea," said the colleague. "Make up your own gift
certificate that says, 'Thirty minutes of great loving, any
way you want it.' I guarantee she'll be enchanted."

The next day, Arnold's colleague asked, "Well? Did you take my
suggestion?"

"Yes," said Arnold.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh, yes! She jumped up kissed me on the forehead, and ran out
of the door yelling, 'See you in 30 minutes!'"

 

Please note that Mustache Mania will now longer be as it was in the past. There will be no set release dates for future issues. Issues will be sent out upon completion as suits my schedule. This is a very busy time for me, I am graduating this spring, looking at another program to take for next year, hold 5 editor positions for the college news paper, work term for school at a TV network, class rep. and applied arts rep. programming. As well elections for next year's MSA board are coming up and I am running once again probably for a V.P. position, so right now is kind of a crazy time for me, and does not look like it's going to let up at all in the near future. Thanks to all Mustache Mania readers, supporter and fans

Thanks,

Mustache Man, 

CEO and president of Mustache Inc.

Contact Mustache Man himself at mustachemania@hotmail.com or contact Ben, managing editor at mead1a@hotmail.com or ICQ at 5160216

In Loving Memory Of Our Dear Friend Bear

A Memorial Message from Kitty Kat

I know a lot of you knew Bear,and maybe some of you didn't get the chance. I was one of the lucky ones,I knew Bear.  He was the first person I met on Rockweb,and from the day I met him he was the coolest and the most tenderhearted guy I have ever met.  He was no wimpy kind of spineless guythough,oh no,he kept the pervs in tow,and would fry anyone's hard drive thatbothered me.  He was my best friend,I have never had anyone that close to me. We spent a great deal of time together,he was with me through thick and thin and always on my side,always there when I needed him,he never let me down once.  He was so very good to me,and when I would tell him that,he would just laugh and say "nah,Im just a bear".  He made me laugh too,his sense of humor was just so cool.  His soft deep cajun voice,and his sarcstic remarks would make me laugh so hard.  And he loved his wife and kids and showed it,with the way he cooked for them,being a chef,he could do it too. He fed the whole neighborhood,many times he would tell me he was cooking for 10 or 11,was no big deal.  He had a dogs and a gob of cats,that is why he said he postd to me in the first place cuz of my nic name.  He even sent a pic this year of the racoons he had been feeding that had came up into his yard.  He gave himself to people all the time,always willing to help anyone out,anyway he could. Bear never lied,or pulled any strings,he was always straight with you,whether it hurt your feelings or not,he wouldn't lie to you. Bear was also a masseus,as well as owning a sailboat,and a deisel truck,and a harley.  Bear was a man of many intrests,and vast knowledge of the world.  He was truly like no one on the net or off,he was just so very special.  He was online before the net even was "the net" like we know it. I cant tell you how much I will miss him.  There will never ever be another Bear,and the world is just that much colder without him,we have lost a great light,and a true love that can never be replaced or forgotten.  I will always love him,and always have his place here in my heart forever. I love you sooooooo much Bear 

Kitty Kat

Message from Sheik Yerbouti: 

    I'm sorry to say i don't have good news to pass along tonight....and i'm sorry for the mass e-mail, but it's late and it's the easiest way i know how to go about this.... The old school rockweb chatter known as "Bear" passed away on Saturday january 22nd of a heart attack....he was a young 51 years old.... Best known for his cool, calm, and happy chat style, Bear was always a person you could count on to bring you up when you were down, and always seemed like he was in a good mood. He was the father of another old school rockweb chatter "Crawfish".... Bear's chat prime fell between 1995-1997, although he made appearences every once in a while up until recently.... Bear was a big part of our rockweb lives, a wonderful guy, and was a person who was loved by many.... i think Lea said it best..."he was sooo cool. i always thought of him as big poppa bear of Rockweb. Like jerry garcia kinda" I always saw Bear as a father to the place. He had a son that regualrly chatted in the room. He was always so calm, cool, and collected. He wasn't out for some big payoff. He's the only person I've ever known in rockweb that nobody else ever had a bad word to say about. He was easy to talk with and interact with. He didn't take crap or sides with anyone. He was everyone's friend, yet he never EVER kissed up to anyone to become so. And more than anything else he was just "Bear". Which is something that can't be matched by anyone. Rockweb has indeed lost a true spirit, and I as well as many, mourn the loss of him. This is not a joke like other fake death notices we've gotten from other wannabees who were looking for attention....this is real.... I got the news from kitty Kat a few hours ago, who heard it in person from crawfish... my sympathies are with you all who knew him. i myself am very saddened and blown away by this tragic news. I'm setting up a few things as a memorial to him. If anyone would like to share any memories of Bear, I'll set up a memorial webpage on rockweb for him. i enchourage any thoughts, comments, memories, wishes, or anything else. Even if it's just a simple "i'll miss you", please feel free to submit to this to me... Also, if anyone would like to submit anything to the mustacheman newsletter in rememberance for him, you can either send it to mustachemania@hotmail.com or to me personally. We welcome any thoughts, comments, memories, wishes, or whatever....Bear would be totally into that.....rockweb really meant a lot to him.... Finally, I'm putting together a sympathy card for Bear's wife...if anyone would like to send any sympathy wishes or anything else, please let me know within the next week... the funeral is today (january 25), so it's most likely too late to send flowers or cards... lastly, if anyone has any questions about Bear or his untimely death please direct your questions to me personally. I'll take the steps on responding or finding out what you need to know. Please understand that crawfish is in deep mourning, as is kitty kat, who is also taking this very hard. This was very unexpected, and it's better that I be the contact guy right now. once again my deepest sympathies are with those who knew him... Sheik Yerbouti

This issue Of Mustache Mania is dedicated in memory of our good friend Bear

This has been a Mustache Mania Production. All mustache names, logos and products are owned and copy righted by Mustache Inc ©1998, 1999, 2000