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Mustache Mania
Thurdsday November 19 1998
seventh edition
Welcome to yet another edition of that's right Mustache Mania, the offical newsletter of negz.com. This issue will be the best yet. It will have another drink mix recipe, stories, Ask Alice question and answer, new lyrics to the "name that song" contest and much much more. So hold on tight here we go!
Adventures of MUSTACHE MAN
Hi everybody it's me MUSTACHE MAN. I have to tell you all about my last adventure in my fight against evil. Last week i was flying around search for something to do. It was a very calm night, normal for a Tuesday night, when out of no where i heard a familar scream...but not in the context i am used to hearing that scream...It was Jennifer Love Hewitt. She was being chased through a dark ally by the notorious Moldy Pizza Box man. So me being the super hero i am to Sheik Yerbouti, i swoopped down and stood between my love Jennifer and Mold Pizza Bax Man and said to him "It's time I recycle you" So I gave him an uppercut to the pepperoni and a left to the pinapple and ripped the cheese that was stuck to the lid. Mold Pizza Box Man was no more. Then I turn to Jennifer and said "There ya go little lady" then she grabs me and hugs me and kisses me and says "Ohhh Mustache Man my hero, how can i ever repay you?" well thats when we umm... hey that's none of your business anyways so if you wanna know the rest, rent the movie!
It's time for...Name That Song!
Last week we had no one respond with the correct answer. So the correct answer was "I Wish I Was Queer So I could Get Chicks" by the Bloodhound Gang, Known for their song "Fire Water Burn"
This week's Name that song:
"now the world don't move to beat of just one drum; what might be right for you may not be right for some; when man is born he's a man of needs; then along come two they got nothin' but the dreams; but they got..."
***HINT*** It is a theme song from a TV show that is now longer aired, But in my mind it is a classic.
Drinking Recipe: By Captian Rat
"The BIG JagerSchlager"
2 oz. Jagermeister
2 oz. Goldschlager
pour the Goldschlager in FIRST! then, float the Jag on top..if not,they start a dark and clear race riot and it burns like a mother goingdown..shoot it quick. It'd be a good idea to lose your keys before youstart in on these..things could get ugly..heh.
Thanks again Captian Rat...keep 'em coming!
Just Ask Alice!
Question from Ben:
Dear Alice; I have been pondering this question for a very long time, but i can't find an answer for it, I think about it all the time and it hurts my head especially when I am intoxicated and trying to find the answer....probably cause i was asked this question when I was intoxicated. Well here it is. "You park in a driveway, yet you drive in a park way...why?" to me it just doesn't makes sense.
Alice's Answer:
"To answer your question my son, I don't fucking park in my driveway I park in the garage, and of course your ass is gonna park in a parkway its called traffic, duh. Thank you, drive through."
If you have a question e-mail justaskalice@hotmail.com all questions will be kept confidential and will be published in Mustache Mania with permission only.
What's your beef?
THis is a new column to Mustache Mania. What It is, is a chance for people to say your beef, what pisses you off. It will give readers a chance to resonde to your beefs or make there own beefs known. So please send your "Beefs" to Mustachemania@hotmail.com
We also have a new column writen by Pop Tart. It is an interview style report on regz at negz chat. Each week we will diplay a profile of a new reg.
Personal Profile:
This is all about Bill a.k.a :{) a.k.a Ben
A little info on him
age-20
were he lives-Stratford Ontario Canada
job-2nd year broadcasting student at Mohawk Collage, Hamilton Ontario
on to the interview thing
me: So what do you like to do in your spare time?
Bill: hummm well i like to drink,drink and oh yea drink, also going out
clubbing,shakeing my groove thang,road hockey,makeing videos,and music
me:movies huh, porn?
Bill: No that whould be my roommate
me: Your roommates some fiend huh
Bill:yeah
me: back to you what music is it that you like
Bill:AEROSMITH............then everything besides country
me:I hear you dig the 80's so do you have one of those big glam rock hairdos
Bill: I have one huge ass honking afro......curly as hell,longest ive ever had
it
me: does the big fro help you get chicks
Bill: yea chicks dig my fro specially when im in my staff shirt
me: staff shirt?
Bill: im a waiter/bouncer at a bar back home
me: a bouncer hu you must be cock diesel huh
Bill: cock diesel........explain
me: cock diesel you know big strong
Bill: i whouldnt say super strong i can hold my own, lift heavy stuff but im
not like built
me: do you think you could beat mike tyson
Bill: I'd chew him up and spit him out
me: only if he didnt bite into you first huh
Bill: yeah he he
me: okay in three words describe yourself
Bill: partier, mustache man, and easy going
me: whats up with mustache man
Bill: you dont know that story
me: nope
Bill: i noticed everyone typein : ) so i threw a mustache on it :{) it gave me
super powers and i fight evil
me: evil huh like who
Bill: the masked avenger,moldy pizza man, there are others just havent created
them yet
me: okay what are your super powers
Bill: there not specified but they are beyond human comprehinshon
me: so your on a "higher" plane
Bill: yea i guess i am
me: well is there anything you want to say to wrap this shin dig up
Bill: nope
me: alright then i guess this is the end
Nexted edition look for the personal profile on: Sheik Yerbouti
Classifieds:
Wanted: Stories, peoms, drink recipes, dinner recipes, funny jokes, editorials
or anything you would like to have published. please send them to
Wanted: Assistant editors need to make Mustache Mania the number one
newsletter of it's kind. Please Ben at mead1a@hotmail.com or ICQ 5160216
or Mustache Man at mustachemania@hotmail.com
Deep Thought:
For the famous question..."How far can a dog run into the bush?"...the answer
is half way, beacause after half way he is running out of the bush...Well if the
dog can only run half way in then he can only run half way out...Therefore
the dog can never run out of the bush. The moral I assume is never run into a
bush cause you'll never get out...
This has been a Mustache Mania production. All rights reserved. Mustache Mania is a trade make of Mustache Mania Inc.
Any reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited with out written permission by MUSTACHE MAN himself
©1998