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Mustache Mania

January 1^st1999

Nineth Edition

Happy New Year to you all. I hope you had a great year, and hope this year will be better.

This issue we have some of the rugular stuff but along with "looking back on 1998 in Rockweb and Negz.com" We also have some "You can't say that in Negz" courtsy of Captian Rat as well as some predctions of what the new year might hold for us.

Adventures Of Mustache Man

Greetings all you Mustache Fans, In this story I am gonna start by once again informing you about my new side kick. His name is "One Legg'id Man" He is a good friend of mine from my home town and we have many adventures together... many of them when we are not exactly sober...

Well This happened about 3 weeks ago. I stop by our local sports bar to make sure that there are no evil do'ers hanging around making the bars unsafe for all the good patrons there. Well anyways I see this poor little waitress being harassed by this 7'9" guy built like a transport truck. I calmly went up to her and asked her if there was a problem. She was begging me for her help. I looked at this giant and thought to my self "if he hits me first that'll be the end of MUSTACHE MAN *echo*" so I went for my never fail upper-cut, but he didn't budge. He stared down at me and pull a razor from his back pocket and said in a deep voice (like Bear from Armageddon) "Time to cut that mustache down to size" Just then 30 of his friends surrounded me. I couldn't to a thing i tried beating them off (you sicko's!!) but nothing was working. I finally had it so that there were only 5 guys left when suddenly one of them pulled out a RUBEX CUBE my only weekness. They pinned me to the floor, i was helpless. Then suddenly out of the blue I see one of the bad guys go down one at a time. I stood up... but i stood up to fast and got one of those damn head rushes. When my eyes come back into focus there is the One Legg'id Man with his cane around the giant's neck telling him to applogize to me. Suddenly The giant managed to escapre the grip of the cane when One Legg'id Man goes to reach for his beer...big suprise...Weel to make a long story short, the giant just past Uranus when i booted his ass into outer space. The Waitress came up to me and gave my the biggest hug and kiss. So then the waitress... Who just happened to be Jennifer Love Hewitt...Took me back...Well you'll have to buy the video for the end of the Story.

Busted by Captian Rat!

some of the higher ranking ones from the hall that never got put up.

1.-Thu, Sep 10, 0:42AM MST (-0700 GMT) -- Sheik Yerbouti -- --204.248.130.66 Listen to me... I want a steaming, succulent, juicy, drippy, ever-widening kind of a smelly, slimy, many folded, sort of in-and-out contracting sphincter kind of a hole with a, with a, with a... let's see, there's gotta be a way I can put this discreetly....

2.-Tue, Apr 21, 9:31PM PST/PDT -- Or-G -- --209.146.133.107 Or-G lays Jessica on the ground, crawls on top of her and gives her a slow... long... deep...penetrating... sensual... tonsil tickling... orgasmic... hair straightening... toe curling... organ raising... nipple hardening... spine tingling... life-altering... fantasy causing... did i just see GOD??? I think my clothes are falling off! Why arnt we in bed?? Kind of kiss.

3.-Sat, Sep 12, 12:31AM MST (-0700 GMT) -- -- --209.40.29.94 spike...the hand job was messy...he didn't cum when I gave him head...he was drunk, and high...and buzzing from some mini thins.

4.-Wed, Sep 2, 2:56PM MST (-0700 GMT) -- Skippy Longstockings --145.137.225.6 I'm in the U.S. Navy. I am a semen

5.-Sat, Sep 12, 12:33AM MST (-0700 GMT) -- -- --209.40.29.94 spike...hee-hee-hee, maybe that was it...I was new to the whole thing, and I've got a really small mouth...

6.-Wed, Sep 2, 2:55PM MST (-0700 GMT) -- ¥Õß² -- --194.206.91.8 i'm not delirious !

7.-Sat Aug29 8:46pm MST(0700GMT) ---Angry Blue--- ah just shut your cocksucker you lameass bitch...you`re the one with the brightass rainbow colors that just scream "come eat me dykes" "I`m butch"!!!

8.-Mon, Aug 3, 3:36PM MST (-0700 GMT) -- Or~G -- --207.181.91.230 doctors rule they touch you ;-)

9.-Wed, Sep 2, 2:17PM MST (-0700 GMT) -- ¥Õß (é) -- --194.206.91.8 I'm not negz I'm you ya fucking stupid french idiot eh eh

10.-Sat, Jul 11, 0:36AM MST (-0700 GMT) -- Aimee -- --207.214.148.33 *please don't let it be another RW hall of fame night for me*

Looking Back on 1998----by Mary

Well, we lost the rockweb chat and yet have managed to carry on somewhattogether with the same people on the new negz chat.

some things stayed the same: yob is STILL annoying as hell, as he has beensince 1996. mary is STILL the queen of everything (ask me how i know), psychoholiday is STILL the most interesting chatter, lea is still the cutest girl inrw and she knows that she really is jewel she just doesnt want to tell anyone.

arnita knows i am still stalking her due to the fact that she has the mightyxena boobs.

Some people grew up and/or changed a little bit: sheik has finally limited hishappy birthday greetings to those who really need them, stumbleine and allisonhave become young women of the world with no time for foolish email replies,and d7 still amazes me with her commitment to everyone meeting up in a hotelnext year. Scary.

I first went to rw in may of 1996. during that summer i chatted in there EVERYday. now i only stop by occasionally, but its never more than a day or twothat goes by i dont at least lurk. i love the new board because that helps metalk to friends who now keep different time schedules than i do.

happy 1999 to all who chat in the new rw!

Name that song

Well Jessica is still in the lead with 3 correct answers, then Shirley and One Legg'id Man are tied with 1 correct answer. The answer to last week's name that song was "What it Takes" by Aerosmith. This weeks Name that song is going to be a little bit harder.

".... and in the end we shall achieve in time * the thing they call divine * when all the stars will smile for me * then all is well and well was all for all * and forever after * maybe in the meantime wait and see"

*hint if you have this CD or cassete look on the cover...."sector7"

Good luck y'all. Please send your answers to mustachemania@hotmail.com thanks.

Mustache Man's predictions for 1999

Well first off I'd like to say that my predictions are 95% right, I am an unofficial member of the psyic friends network...was banned form the club...long story...

1) Mustache Man will not be defeated by evil do'ers, His side kick will live on as well.

2) In the up coming new "Star Wars" movies, Princess laya (heh heh) will offically change her neme to "Princess you have to by me diner first"

3) Spike will have the bell that are attached to his toes...by your's truly...surgically removed. He will also recieve 1 year of free threopy to fix his obsession of grinding the breasts off his Barbie dolls.

4) Cher and Monica Lewinski will sing a duet entitled "I cought you babe" in tribute to Bill Clinton

5) There will be a break out of Elvis sightings in Marc's backyard this year

6) People will fly from all over the world just to see Jessica's hidden talent...*thinking power drill*

7) Rick Moranis will come out with a new adult movie entitled "Honey I blew up my..."

8) Former Prime Minister of Canada Brian Mulroney will come out of the closet admitting that he had his chin surgically enlarged so he can prentend to be Jay Leno's long lost brother.

9) Adult magazine giant "PlayBoy" will publish a new magazine "Mustaches in the raw"

10) When "Hulk/Hollywood Hogan" is elected President, he will appoint Mighty mouse as his minister of defense.

The Great "Roof" or "Ruff" debate...continued....

In the Negz.com board it seems to me that some Americans say that they say "roof" instead of "ruff" But like i have stated before All the Americans that i have met or heard on TV...American programing... say "ruff" instead of "roof" Recently i have met an illegal alien from Oregon. And from listening to her talk the 3 times that she has refered to the top of the house she has said and i quote "Ruff" Now I can understand that everyone from different places have different accents. I kind of see how you "Americans" think you say "Roof" instead of "ruff" but the fact is you do say "RUFF"!! not necessarly a strong "Ruff" but sometime it's kind of like "rouff" or "Ruf" I am MUSTACHE MAN *echo* and i am right so if you think i am wrong then send me your beef at mustachemania@hotmail.com

Classifieds:

Wanted: Send in your new years resolutions, all will be posted in the next edion and who ever can stick to there resolution the longest will be alowed to shave 1/2 of Mustache Man's mustache off.

Wanted: Your beef. I want to hear your beef, what really pisses you off. send in a paragraph or list of "Things that piss you off"

Please send any replies to mustachemania@hotmail.com

Please send in your coments about this newsletter to mustachemania@hotmail.com I would appreciate any and all comments, recomendations etc.

Do you have something you'd like to have published? is it a one time article or would you like to have a regular column? Just let me know either way all articles are welcome

Attention!!

The next issue of Mustache Mania will be the 10th edition and will also start the second year of the news letter. I hope that we all can make the next issue the best one yet!