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(Music plays)Good old Pearl & Dean. Play the first two bars of that signature tune to anyone in the land, and within ten seconds they'll have thought, "cinema". Not even Goldbug's 1996 savaging of this classic tune could ruin that image.
Bah-bah bah-bah bah-bah bah-bah bah-bah-bah,
Bah-bah bah-bah bah-bahaaah!(Still photographs of an Indian restaurant appear on the screen.)
"After the film, why not come for a meal at The Star Of Bengal restaurant, just around the corner from this auditorium. We are open until twelve o'clock, serving a variety of delicious Indian and European dishes."(Picture of a policeman wearing a hat.)
"The next time you're thinking of changing your hairstyle, why not come along to Impressions on 22 High Street and have a chat with one of our stylists?"
(Policeman removes hat, revealing a pink-and-yellow mohican.)
It's just a shame then, that the syndication of the cinema into out-of-town, super-hyper-mega-multiplex fast-food film factories has seen our friends P&D seemingly become marginalised. Sure, you don't go along to the cinema just to watch the adverts, but it's all part of the cinema experience, and I'm afraid that watching an advert package from Carlton or whoever, which has obviously cost ridiculous amounts of money to put together, just can't compare with low-budget local ads and kitsch 70's music. As Ron Manager might put it, "enduring image, isn't it?"
Enduring images are very important, providing a tap into the collective subconscious of society. We - Claymores fans - have just such an enduring image of our own ... the big sword on the shirt. Now, they're going to take it off and hide it away on the sleeves.
It won't add up to much in direct financial terms, in that sense it may be beneficial to change the shirt again to bring in some more sales. It might have a negative effect when it comes to the general public's perception of the team. I'm talking about the sort of intangibles which can get the team into the minds of the nation and keep it there for good, which has to be the eventual goal for the Claymores.
With the sword on the front of the shirt, everyone knows it's a Claymores shirt, the person wearing it follows the Claymores. I think that kind of instant recognition is important. Take the sword away and what do you have? A shirt with a number on it, and that's all. It could be a Lions or a Cowboys or a Seahawks shirt, or none of these at all, nobody will really care anyway, and so that "grab factor" which the sword creates is lost.
Besides, in my own opinion, the sword is one of the best team emblems I've ever seen. Moving it from the chest onto the sleeves doesn't seem to do it justice. It has the wonderful quality of being minimal and outwardly simplistic - you can draw the outline without having to lift your pencil off the paper (just like the Cowboys and Packers emblems, and just think how many bits of merchandise they've shifted of late) - but conveying a positive, in-yer-face image about the team. There's not another emblem in the World League that can compare, only the Monarchs' stylised crown comes anywhere near close.
In this cold, hard-hearted, financially-motivated world, we still need a place for our enduring images, those little bits of don't-know-what that help brighten up the world. It's probably too late for impassioned pleas, but just in case ... please put the sword back on the front of the shirt.
Alan Gibson