* Double J vs. Val Venis
Yamaguchi-san was seated with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler commentating
during the match. This match was a typical WWF lead in match with good
moves, but no real excitement. During the match, Val Venis really showed
me something. NO, not that! He showed me that he has some actual skills.
This match ended the way that every third match that has a manager ring
side ends. A roll up off the ropes after the manager gets knocked down.
Winner: Val Venis by pinfall with a roll-up.
* D-Lo Brown vs. X-Pac
It was made apparently clear from the start that this match was a non-
title match. Then the winner of the match is obvious, right? This was
a back and forth battle that put X-Pac's arsenal on display.
Winner: D-Lo by pinfall after the Sky High.
* 2-Cold Scorpio/Faarooq vs. Terry Funk/Bradshaw
Before the match Funk announced, "this will be my last match in the WWF,
for a while." Bradshaw was obviously upset. Well, I mean he pretended
to be upset since wrestling is not real. Everybody had two questions
about this match: 1) What good is this match? 2) When is Bradshaw going
to get a push? The answer to number 1 gives you the answer to number 2.
After Funk was pinned by Scorpio, Bradshaw went off on Funk. Scorpio
returned and Bradshaw leveled him and then hit Faarooq with a chair. I
guess the big Texan finally has an angle and a potential push as the
"Angry Big Texan."
Winners: Scorpio and Faarooq by pinfall after 450 on Funk.
* Vader vs. Mark Henry
Yawn!!! I think this was a mistake and was supposed to be on Shotgun.
Didn't Vader lose his mask? Why is he still wearing it? What happened
to Vader calling himself a fat piece of shit? Instead of watching this
match, I should have taped it and watched my grass grow. At nearly 400
lbs., Vader is without a doubt, the biggest jobber in the world of pro
wrestling.
Winner: Mark Henry by pinfall after a splash.
* L.O.D. vs. D.O.A.
Is this alphabet soup or the WWF? The L.O.D. keeps getting killed off,
but they keep coming back. It makes me wonder if South Park got the idea
of Kenny by watching L.O.D. in the WWF. We have all seen this match
before. The old switch job at the end.
Winners: D.O.A. by pinfall.
* Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock (Dungeon match)
With Dan Severn as the special ref something had to happen, right? This
was a VERY entertaining match. The two fought in a small room with a mat
and some work out equipment in it. Metal piping was running across the
ceiling and the walls were not padded. A typical Owen/Shamrock match,
but this time no chair on the ankle. Owen went for the Sharpshooter, but
Shamrock reversed it into an ankle lock. Owen quickly escaped and the
fight continued. Shamrock went to kick Owen, but nailed Severn instead.
With Severn down, Owen grabbed a barbell and clocked Shamrock in the
head. Owen Hart put Shamrock in a modified "Rings of Saturn" and lifted
Shamrock's hand to make the unconscious Shamrock appear to be tapping
out. Severn called the match and walked out with Shamrock unconscious on
the floor.
Winner: Owen by forcing Shamrock to tap out.
* HHH vs. The Rock (Best of the 3 falls - Intercontinental Championship)
Am I the only one that can smell what The Rock is cookin'? I saw fall
one the night before at a house show, but with a slightly different end-
ing. The Rock and HHH showed why they are two of the top WWF stars with
a great battle. Mark Henry came out and splashed HHH on the floor, but
The Rock only got a 2 count. D-Lo tried to climb to the top rope, but
HHH hit him with the belt. When HHH turned around, The Rock delivered
The Rock Bottom.
~ First fall to The Rock by pinfall.
During the second fall, we saw the moment we were all waiting for. That
is right, the People's Elbow. X-Pac came out and planted The Rock face
first into the mat, but HHH could only get a 2 count. With a chair in
hand, The Rock went to hit HHH, but hit the ref in the back. Chyna came
in and nailed The Rock with a low blow from behind and then a DDT on the
chair. HHH covered The Rock for the second fall.
~ Second fall to HHH by pinfall.
When the third fall started, it was announced that about only 2 minutes
remained in the match. Maivia went for the Rock Bottom, but HHH blocked
it and countered with the Pedigree. As he was going for the pin, the ref
stated the time was up and THEN the bell rang. Let's communicate better
people! The bell should ring first!
~ Third fall... time limit expired.
Winner: Match declared a draw. Title stays with The Rock.
* Jacqueline vs. Sable (Bikini contest)
Before the contest Dustin Runnels asked God to save us all. I think he
got confused because he used to dress like a woman and had bigger breast
than most. Lucky for us he left the ring. Jacqueline came out with Marc
Mero. As she was getting ready to take off her robe, Sable came down.
Jacqueline dis-robed first after Lawler said, "don't blow it, show it!"
She did. She shook it like a $5 stripper with an accidental free show
out of camera shot. Sable's turn!!! YES!!! She took off her shirt and
we saw...a bikini bottom and a half top??? What the hell? She told us
Mr. McMahon advised her to wear something conservative. Would Sable
listen to Mr. McMahon and disappoint the 13-45 year-old-males watching?
Right! She took off her half top to reveal...well...EVERYTHING! Hands
were painted on her breasts just enough to cover her nipples. You can
always count on Sable not to disappoint. By the way, the breast reduc-
tion does her justice.
Winner: Sable!
* Kane/Mankind vs. Austin/Undertaker (Tag Team Championship)
The Undertaker showed up. Bummer! I wanted to see the Brooklyn Brawler
fight. After the Undertaker and Austin exchanged some fingers, the match
was well under way. With Mankind ready to jump off the apron on UT,
Austin shoved Mankind on top of the Spanish announcer's table. Mankind
and Kane were working well as a tag team, but Austin and UT were not.
With Mankind and UT outside, Austin hit Kane with a chair, but only
managed a 2 count. Austin put the Stunner on Kane and then Mankind. All
three laid in the ring, while UT just stood in his corner. Austin was
reaching to tag UT, but UT would not extend his arm. Finally, UT shook
his head and reached out to tag Austin. UT choke slammed both Kane and
Mankind and then delivered the Tombstone on Kane.
Winners: Undertaker and Austin by pinfall after Tombstone.