QUOTES
"We play today, we win today, dassit." - Mariano Duncan - 1996 New York Yankees
"Where else would you rather be than right here, right now?" - Marv Levy
"In a perfect world we'd all be Yankees." - Rick Horowitz
"You have nothing to fear but fear itself." - Franklin Roosevelt
"Play every down as if it was the last one you will ever play." - Walter Payton - Chicago Bears
"Scottie Pippen is on a real roll right now. His current level of explosive athleticism is off the charts." - Bill Walton
"Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." - Vince Lombardi
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
"No points for second best." - Slider - Top Gun
"When I die I want you to bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my *ss." - Bob Knight
"If a man does his best, what else is there?" - General George S. Patton
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
"Being the leading rusher on the Eagles is like being the tallest midget in the circus." - Ron Jaworski
"Our hearts are broken but not our stride. Now here comes the power of American pride." - anonymous
TEACHERS
"Senor Ed even your model won't save you now." - Br. Mike
"Boys, girls, and Kurt please be quiet." - Mr. Santos
"Luscious silencio" - Mr. Santos
"Could anyone please bring in the Sunday Times?" - Mr. Whelan
"You're a good kid you just weren't breast fed." - Mr. Whelan
"Vanjush you're a tiger!." - Mr. Whelan
"Don't say anything!" - Mr. Smith
"After teaching you for two years I can add something to my resume - special ed teacher." - Mr. Smith
"DO NOT CALL OUT." - Mr. Whelan
"Sae don't be mean!" - Mr. Whelan
"Don't confuse my kindness with permissiveness." - Mr. Whelan
"You could either try to learn or be mired in your fog of ignorance for the rest of your pathetic life." - Mr. McKenna
"You write like you talk...too much." - Mr. Vellucci
MIKE CAPASSO
"Sorry officer I couldn't see how fast I was driving because I was listening to the Mets game."
"The worst type of girl is a slutty prude."
"That was piss poor."
"How can you say Futureal is better than me singing in the shower?"
"Shredder housed us."
"Present..."
"Judas Priest wrote a song about you...it's called BREAKIN' THE LAW."
"We're gonna house these guys don't be an idiot."
"Bayley should come back to Maiden and Di'anno should revive Wolfsbane"
STEPHEN GALLO
"Where did we get the idea that no woman can satisfy Him?"
"If it's consentual they can't arrest you for it."
"Imagine this lineup....Pete Damilatis-pg....Uncle Steve-sg....Kurt Semder-sf....Jon Gambino-pf...Michael Capasso-c they couldnt fit all 5 penises in one arena. A drinker who speeds....an aging pervert....a sexual legend....
another sexual legend (with a sexy-*ss name)...and a greek god on ONE team."
"Mr. Capasso knows as much about girls as I do about rocket science."
"After a brief sojourn I am happy to report that the Tuz is back online."
"Rush hour? I ain't in no rush. Slow down the train and I'll pay $2.50."
"As soon as we get out of this place I'm gonna pull a Mel Gibson in Braveheart and yell Freedom."
"I didnt realize she was over, so I made a couple of derogatory comments about her, basically how she looks like a piece of dog sh*t in the slutty outfits she wears."
"Until I see the cum stains on the Laszlomoblie and touch them with my own hands I will not believe."
"When a good looking girl calls you a lizard I think it's time to re-evaluate things."
"Hes not merely "an" athlete..oh no no no...hes "a" athlete"
"His porno name is "Amphibious Adonis Monroe"
"I'm gonna bust a load in your face."
"A couple light weapons to enforce on playahatas and anybody at NHP that irritates me; no artillry shells or anythin' like that; no tanks."
"Sitting on Kurt's lap I felt a telephone pole go up my *ss."
"His feces is so beautiful He shoots gold nuggets."
"It's pathetic...to cover up the fact that hes a TOTAL loser..he has to hide behind the facade of Italian pride."
"Did you know that his sexual organ is registered in all 50 states as a lethal weapon, and yet the girls still enjoy it...ya gotta respect the man."
"We're not suing Kurt we are suing His schlong. He has monopolized girls on Long Island and we need to pool our money in a lawsuit against Him. It shall be entiteld Gallo v. Semder's Schlong and our descendants will read about it in their history text books as I try to "Penis-bust" for the good of mankind. He will use His junior year book photo and the phrase "If the schlong don't fit you must acquit", referring to how it is too big to fit. Despite the fact that He will seduce the jury, Marcia Clark, and Judge Lanco Ito (3 letters in God, 3 letters in Ito. Coincidence? I think not) there will be a "Penal Antitrust Act" as the 27th Amendment to the Consitution.
"If underaged girls were mutant turtles you would be Splinter. Semder is Krang.
Balls is Shredder, he does the bidding."
"You ever see March of the Wooden Soldiers? George is Barnaby and he is the little dwarf servant that gets kicked around."
"True but popping a bloody mess is the greatest of all accomplishments...we skip purgatory for that one."
"How can you be going through that (menstrual cycle) when you're carrying Kurt's baby?"
"He is garbage just like Caroline's p*ssy."
"I'm gonna play Madden, I'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon so we can talk about our perpetual demise and K$'s ascendancy to the top of evolution."
"I can see Tara's bra strap!"
"She needs to get titties before she marries into the Fortune 500."
"What was Manson's purpose for killing people?? Who the hell knows."
"You were once a concrete sex god...now you're an obtuce erotic force."
"Clinton didnt want Lewinsky in the f*cking paper."
"On Semder's rock-solid penis I will build my church, only rock solid when He gazes at the mirror."
"Nah we should just have one of us stand guard outside the door. He and His band of gay marauders must be stopped."
"Corinne, the models, and 3 first rounders for violationg the Semder Bargaining Agreeement."
"We're the Gene Michaels' of 15 year old p*ussy."
"Just another crazy idea by a psychopathic blow-job machine."
"Why dont you join Malcolm X in a place that never gets cold?"
"Latino Heat asserts his dominance like a pit bull pissing on its territory."
"MC is god, he has replaced the exiled frog."
"Some men try to destroy Him (us), some men try to enjoy Him (Sopranos),
either way they die."
"Mommy and daddy pay 30 grand so they can be armchair Marxists 'til they hit Martha's Vineyard in May."
"You and me are tighter than a 6 year old's p*ssy."
"Watch, He takes me, you and Tony Balls up to one of the mountains and the Titans jersey dazzles in color. We hafta promise never to leave each other alone with that group, I have a feeling they're all gay sex fiends."
"I burned myself and knocked over my mom's vase. I was laughing so hard when I got home. I dropped a cigarette on my leg and i broke the vase. Tonight will always be funny...ALWAYS. If you combine Fordham with the Gambino/Ref-Fuel weekend, you still can't even compare with tonight. The other events were planned, tonight was spontaneous. He comandeered the Laszlo-mobile."
"A man that rambles that He has had 25 gf's, 5 hot girls calling Him today, rips on you after coming uninvited, and rates HB and the prospect as "ok" doesnt deserve a shred of respect."
"The only rule in my car would be that an underaged girl has to be in attendance every night."
"Michelle said she'd do anything besides head and sex on Saturday I was was like 'say what bitch?'"
ED HACKIMER
"They should name the album Live After Blaze because Iron Maiden was basically dead with him"
"This kid's whole family should give up the process of reproduction, they all should have been blowjobs."
"Give that girl a noose and tell her to go find a tree."
"How can you praise a man who cockblocked you on New Year's Eve?"
"If there was such a thing as a worst man at a wedding He would definitely be it at mine."
WILL FELLINI
"Well, Steve, we shall plot our assault on young females at a later date and time."
"You're quite a classy guy, Steve..."
"I am receiving a pension from the ladies, Steve, don't feel so bad."
"Sometimes you're the dog sometimes you're the hydrant."
"Sir, the help I require cannot be received via computer or any magical pornography. Thanks though."
"After you guys left that party I got more ass than a toilet seat."
OTHER QUOTES
"Is that a gun in your pants or are you just excited to see me?"
"Capital H I get more women than you do." - Chris
"I think it's time to, as Jess would say, bounce." - Tom
"Nah chill, maybe you wouldn’t be good enough for Him but no one is." - James
“We don’t need to help him out, he gets girls to do his laundry.” - James
"1 if by land, 2 if by sea." (1 if by Jericho, 2 if by sidestreets.) - Steve
"Nobody circles the freshman girls like Stephen Vargas." - George
"I don't know if she was pretty I only saw her face." - James Rudden
"What a crock of sh*t. Who has the balls to write a page like that?" - George
"A lot of these girls are..um..whoof." James
"It's time for Composto's one stupid comment per class." - Pat Rizzotti
"M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-O-S-E" - George
"I only have so many big plays in me and you just wasted one of them." - Jimmy Rudden
"Wolfsbane is about as dangerous as me with a plastic spoon." - Steve
"Semder you really put a lot of time and effort into this bracket" - Tom
"It wasn't a beeper I was just changing the batteries on my calculator." - Pat Sharkey
"Bush's economic plan is like the plan to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic." - Cousin Joseph
"You've got more problems than a math text book." - Jill
"All the things we've said about Kurt over the year are finally coming true" - Tom
"Yea he (Everett) and B...he totally took me out." - James
"When a girl talks dirty to a guy it's $3.95 an hour, when a guy talks dirty to a girl it's sexual harassment." - Pete Fenton
"...same thing with Paul and Bruce, they were only the prophets before the coming of the messiah." - George
"Yo no joke, I don't want Him to get that girl...don't give him any info about her. That'll be another crap story we'll have to live with him telling." - Tom
"She thinks she's all high and mighty, Ms. MySh*tDon'tStink.." - Jill
"Pure poetry!" - Danny Kreiss-5th grade CYO soccer team and Mrs. Heid-6th grade teacher
"You're obviously jealous."
Mr. Santos - "the rack" Kurt -"El Rachel"
"I'd like to perpendicularly bisect her."
"He DESERVES it."
Gallo (making a "crpy" sign with his hands) "This means I'm a cryp"
Meaghan (giving the middle finger to him) "This means f*ck you 2pac"
